Why Anger, Guilt and Fear Cultivate Success (and The Art of Emotional Agility)

I love learning about how our emotions guide us towards success.

I think it is one of most life-changing and important skills we can master.

That’s just one reason I had an awesome time interviewing today’s guest on The School of Greatness.

Todd Kashdan is a celebrated university professor and author who has spent his career studying the best ways for us to handle our emotions.

And in his new book, he faces head on the belief that a positive mindset is always the best one.

It turns out that our negative emotions (anger, guilt, fear, sadness) are just as important to feel as our positive ones.

In fact, they can be even more helpful to us.

I loved every second of this conversation and could have talked to Todd for another hour.

We go over everything from elite athletes to soldiers to our families and how we can use emotions like fear to fuel our progress.

Since we’re all human, we all have emotions, which means we all need to know this.

Welcome to Episode 154 with the emotion professor, Todd Kashdan.

Subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or TuneIn

The School of Greatness Podcast

“When we share our pain, we grow closer than at any other point in our lives.”

Some questions I ask:

• So looking at the bright side isn’t always the best way to go?
• Why is tolerating pain so important to living a good life?
• What are some healthy ways to build your pain threshold?
• What do you think has fueled the current mindfulness movement?
• Do you think we all have a dark side?
• Why do we remember and focus on the bad over the good?

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• How to deal with the natural negative feelings we experience in everyday life
• The benefits of delaying gratification
• Anger and sadness signal that something has significance for us
• How pain bonds people more than any other emotion

“The building blocks for a meaningful, happy life are moments.”

• What one of the biggest predictors of whether people will be successful is (hint: it has to do with tolerating pain)
• The benefits of interval training to condition yourself for mini traumas
• Make a game out of your fears – challenge yourself to face them
• How high performers use fear instead of getting rid of it
• When you are angry, focus on the behavior, not the person who caused the problem

“Being emotionally agile far trumps being a positive, cheerful person.”

• The Dreaded Emotions: anger and guilt – and how to use them
• How to get over the Imposter Syndrome (thinking we are not good enough for the opportunities we get)
• The Teddy Effect: how to use the parts of our personality that are inappropriate/uncomfortable to talk about to our advantage
• How the American mindset that we can control our mood can be detrimental
• Plus much more…

Continue Seeking Greatness:

• The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your “Good” Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment
• AJ Roberts
• Matt Serra
• FOLLOW TODD

Website | Twitter

• Music Credit: Stage Rage by Ryan Enzed

You may also like these episodes:

•  How to Overcome Fear and Dive Into Flow with Donald Schultz
• How the World’s Strongest Man Transformed His Body to Become the Fittest with AJ Roberts
• The Science of Healing Emotional Injuries

Did you enjoy the podcast?

I LOVE talking about emotional intelligence, especially when it confirms what I was already thinking. What did Todd say that surprised you most about our darker emotions? Who do you know who needs to hear this?

 “Part of strength is being vulnerable.”