Lewis Howes

Rob Bell: Understanding Spirituality

I was so blessed to interview Rob Bell about faith and spirituality. I grew up in a Christian Science household, and that experience was very formative for me. I still feel a connection with something greater than myself, and I keep searching for more spiritual clarity. Rob definitely helped me on my spiritual journey, and I know that he can help you too! 

Rob had a great definition of spirituality that can include everyone regardless of faith or belief system: 

“I define spirituality as your awareness that your life is a gift that you have received breath. For some reason, God, higher consciousness, being, reality itself, the universe, whatever language you want to use for that, you have received this extraordinary gift, and what you do with it [and] how you respond to it matters. And that your spirituality is your awareness. … Your life [is] actually animated by these unseen realities: hope, joy, peace, longing, and desire to be a part of something bigger than yourself.” – Rob Bell

He described how people often write off spirituality as something having to do with judgment and religion, but spirituality is really about recognizing that life is a gift, and religion exists to organize that spiritual practice:

“It’s practice. It’s the routines. It’s the rituals that remind you that life is a gift and how you respond matters.” – Rob Bell

I asked Rob what he believes overall, and his response was incredibly enlightening and thought-provoking: 

“I believe that there is something at work in the universe moving us forward. … I believe there’s something at work in human history. There’s a force of benign love. I call this force ‘God.’ … There’s something that when you give yourself to the wellbeing of other people, something deep within [you] says, ‘This is good.’” – Rob Bell

Regardless of your faith or belief system, helping other people is something we should all be striving for on our path to greatness!

Laverne Cox: Resilience in Trauma

In my 7.5 years of hosting The School of Greatness, I’ve always tried to gather people who have different values and backgrounds. I always want to make sure that everyone is being represented on the show, and prioritizing diversity has led me to learn so much from different walks of life. 

Recently I had the pleasure of having Laverne Cox on the show. Laverne has done so much for the LGBTQ+ community. She paved the way for more roles opening up in Hollywood for transgender actors and actresses. 

Laverne and I immediately established a deep connection from the fact that both of us dealt with childhood trauma. Laverne had great advice for dealing with trauma: 

“There’s resilience to trauma. Healing from trauma is really about not being overly defined by the trauma, but then not being in denial about it, acknowledging that the trauma happened, but that it’s in its proper place in your timeline.” – Laverne Cox

Laverne recounted how her signing on a condo triggered a trauma from her childhood that related to housing. Her fear of homelessness rooted in her childhood experiences manifested in her adult life and caused panic attacks. She explored her issues with her therapist and eventually was able to work through the traumatic events and put them in their proper place rather than experience them over again: 

“The nervous system does not know if a trauma happened 15 years ago. … Once we are triggered, the nervous system feels like the trauma’s happening right now. And the thing of healing from trauma [and] creating resilience around trauma is putting the trauma within the right timeline of our lives. … I’ve had a lot of unfortunate things happen to me, but I don’t need to be defined by those things. I’m not in denial of them, but they don’t define me.” – Laverne Cox

Do you have any unresolved trauma in your life? You can’t change the past, but you can put your past trauma in its proper place so that you don’t experience it again. Don’t deny what occurred, but don’t let it define you. 

My Story: The Importance of Vulnerability

When I initially started The School of Greatness, I had to make the tough decision of what kind of interviewer I wanted to be. I had to decide whether I wanted to be passive in my interviews and let my guests do all the talking or if I wanted to add my own substance to the show. I knew that if I wanted to create a safe space for people to be honest and vulnerable, I would also have to show that same vulnerability and be honest about my past. That’s why I shared my childhood trauma with my guest and friend, Jonathan Fields. 

Even though I’ve now told this story many times, it never stops being difficult. I was raped when I was five years old. It took me almost thirty years to tell anyone my story. I was incredibly nervous to tell my story on the show, but it was met by such a positive response, and I’m incredibly grateful that it’s helped others. 

When I was a child, I would often stay at my babysitter’s house for a few hours after school. One day her teenage son was at her house. I had never met her son, and I never saw him again after this day. The door was open to his room, and he was playing a Nintendo game. I came into his room and asked him if I could play the Nintendo. He said, “Yes, but you have to do something for me.” He then took me to the bathroom and performed a sexual act on me. At the time, I had no clue if what we were doing was right or wrong, and I just went along with it. 

I didn’t fully realize what had happened until much later in my teenage years. I felt a great deal of shame and anger that I had been sexually abused. The trauma hurt my relationships with others. I felt that I wasn’t accepted or loved when I was growing up, but ultimately, what ended up happening was that my feelings related to the trauma made me want to show love and compassion towards everyone because of that lack of love that I felt as a child. 

I didn’t want my trauma to control the rest of my life and cause me to be closed off as an adult, so now I view the incident as something that I can learn from. I’ve forgiven myself and the man that abused me because harboring resentment only hurts you. 

Even though it was painful to share my story on the show, I’m incredibly glad that I did. I made The School of Greatness a safe space for everyone, including myself, and I’m so happy that I was able to find the courage to tell everyone that they’re not alone in recovering from traumatic experiences. 

Why You Should Listen to Part Two of this Special 1,000th Episode Right Now…

I have learned so much in the last 1,000 episodes of The School of Greatness, but I still have much more to learn. Greatness is a lifelong pursuit that never ends, and I’m excited to continue my journey after this episode. 

Now I’m going to fulfill the promise that I made to you at the beginning of this show — I’m going to tell you my biggest takeaway from my first 1,000 episodes. My biggest takeaway is that the key to a successful life is relationships and the key to a successful relationship is vulnerability. I’ve been able to build amazing relationships with my many guests because I was vulnerable. I’m so blessed to have had so many amazing guests in the last 7.5 years, and I can’t wait to build more fantastic relationships in my next 7.5 years! 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to check out my 5-Minute Friday this week, where I’ll tell you my three truths and my definition of greatness! You’re not going to want to miss it! 

Also, make sure to listen to this full episode! If you want to learn about approaching failure from Kobe Bryant, the practical uses of meditation with Preetha ji, spirituality with Rob Bell, healing trauma with Laverne Cox, and the importance of showing vulnerability with yours truly, join me, Lewis Howes, on Episode 1,001 of The School of Greatness!

 

To Greatness,