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Esther Perel, Lori Gottlieb, Katherine Woodward Thomas, James Sexton

The Biggest Mistakes People Make In Relationships


Gloria Steinem once said, “Far too many people are looking for the right person instead of trying to become the right person.” She’s right. But chances are if you’re a listener of this show, then you’re already prioritizing self improvement in your life — so becoming a better person is important to you. 

Here’s the thing though: the road to greatness is a tough, often lonely, journey. The partner we choose to spend our time with will have a MASSIVE impact on the person we become, on whether or not we achieve our goals, and on our overall level of happiness. 

Relationships help shape who we are, so it’s critical to take your time finding the right one, and to take your time in putting in the effort to make it last. That’s why I’m SO pumped for this special mashup episode of The School of Greatness! Today’s show is all about relationships, and I’ve taken some of my favorite highlights from SOG guests to share their expert advice on the topic.

“Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery.” @EstherPerel  

Esther Perel – Esther Perel is a Belgian psychotherapist and an organizational consultant for several Fortune 500 companies worldwide — to keep up, she is even fluent in nine languages! She is also the executive producer and host of the celebrated podcast Where Should We Begin — a podcast for anyone who has ever loved and How’s Work?, where she provides one-time therapy sessions with co-workers and co-founders, giving them a new perspective on the invisible forces that shape the connections, dynamics, and conflicts in the workplace. Her popular TED talks have more than 28 million views and counting. 

Esther Perel is also a New York Times best-selling author of, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, a book that took a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity. Another bestselling book of Esther’s is Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence that investigates the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and discusses what it takes to bring home lust.

Lori Gottlieb – Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times best seller, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which is being adapted as a television series for ABC. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column and contributes regularly to The New York Times and many other publications. 

Her most recent TED Talk is one of the top 10 most watched of the year. A member of the Advisory Council for Bring Change to Mind, she is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, The CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR’s “Fresh Air.” She is also the co-host of the new iHeart Radio podcast, “Dear Therapists,” produced by Katie Couric.

Katherine Woodward Thomas – Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT is the author of the New York Times best seller, Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After, which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities.

Her life-affirming and highly transformative teachings have been featured on The Today Show as well as in The New York Times, Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The London Times, People Magazine, Women’s Health and many other media outlets throughout the world.

James Sexton – James has intentionally focused his practice on divorce and family law since his graduation from Fordham Law School. In addition to his Juris Doctorate (Law Degree) he has a Master of Arts degree from New York University where he focused his graduate research on the areas of persuasive speech and propaganda studies.

James is also the author of the incredibly informative book on marriage, If You’re in My Office, You’re Already Too Late.

If you’re currently looking for a relationship, or trying to take your current one to the next level, then you won’t want to miss this incredible episode. Alright, without further ado, let’s jump into Episode 1,149 of The School of Greatness!

“Shoot for resolution rather than full satisfaction. Stop worrying about being right.” @nycdivorcelaw  

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What causes most relationships to fail?
  • What’s the difference between chemistry, connection, and compatibility?
  • What’s the biggest mistake people make when choosing a partner?
  • How can you fix a failing relationship?

In this episode, you will learn:

  • What causes most relationships to fail with Esther Perel.
  • The biggest mistake people make when choosing a partner with Lori Gottlieb.
  • How “Happily Ever After” is a myth we’ve been sold with Katherine Woodward Thomas.
  • How divorce lawyer James Sexton thinks you can fix your relationship.
  • And much more…

Show Notes:

Lewis Howes
Connect with
Esther Perel, Lori Gottlieb, Katherine Woodward Thomas, James Sexton

Transcript of this Episode

Music Credits:


Kaibu by Killercats

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