Are you tired of negative beliefs holding you back? It’s exhausting to fight constantly against negative beliefs to pursue what makes us happy and fulfilled.
Thankfully, it’s not all doom and gloom! Today’s guest has spent over 30 years working with people including royalty, rock stars, actors, Olympic athletes, CEOs, and people just like you to overcome negative beliefs and reach new heights of success.
Today’s guest is Marisa Peer, a British therapist who’s created the award-winning Rapid Transformational Therapy. Marisa is a bestselling author, hypnotherapist trainer, and motivational speaker. She’s written a new book called, Tell Yourself a Better Lie: Use the power of Rapid Transformational Therapy to edit your story and rewrite your life.
I’m such a fan of this topic. So many stories we’ve told ourselves hold us back from going after what we want. In this episode, we discuss how the lies you tell yourself are constantly holding you back, how to reshape your thoughts to begin loving yourself more, the three steps to manifesting change in your life, how to bridge the gap between recognizing you need to heal and then actually healing, and how to put yourself first.
Who Is Marisa Peer?
Marisa Peer is the author of I Am Enough and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy®️(RTT). Marisa Peer is an English best-selling author, nutritionist, relationship therapist, hypnotherapist trainer, and motivational speaker. She uses hypnosis for anxiety, weight loss, addiction, and overcoming fear.
Besides I Am Enough, Marisa Peer is also the author of You Can Be Thin, Ultimate Confidence, Trying to Get Pregnant (And Succeeding), and You Can Be Younger. Her specialist subjects include hypnosis, infertility (pregnancy), fears/phobias, stage fright, low self-esteem, confidence/self-esteem, weight loss, relationships, careers, addictions, and childhood problems.
Marisa has been on the show twice before, discussing ‘How your thoughts will heal or kill you’ in Episode 695 and ‘How to change your mind to attract love, abundance and wealth’ in Episode 949.
I’m excited to bring you more of Marisa’s wisdom — so let’s jump right in!
Tell Yourself Better Lies
The lies we tell ourselves and the stories we create because of them are more damaging than we realize. Once we recognize the lies we tell ourselves, we can make positive changes. Marisa suggests that instead of avoiding lying, you should start telling yourself better lies.
“Our greatest pain is from the lies we tell ourselves. When you [say], ‘I’m the size of a house. If I look at a cake, I gain a pound. My kid is making me want to jump out of a window. This freeway would be the death of me.’ None of those things are true. If you are prepared to lie to yourself, why not tell yourself a better lie? Your mind doesn’t know [the difference], and it really doesn’t care if what you tell it is good or bad, true or false.” – Marisa Peer
The language we use is critical, and Marisa’s easy examples demonstrate how to reverse typical negative thoughts:
- “My memory is a sieve,” becomes “I have an excellent memory.”
- “I’m falling apart,” becomes “I have great coping skills.”
- “If I look at a cake, I gain weight,” becomes “I have a phenomenal metabolic rate.”
“Every thought you think you make real, and if you doubt that, think [about how your body reacts when] you think of something embarrassing — you blush. If you think of something sad, your eyes fill up with tears. If you think of food, your stomach rumbles. If you tell yourself a better lie, your body will work very hard to make that thought real.” – Marisa Peer
Every thought you think causes both the physical and emotional response, which is why if you think better thoughts, you get better emotional reactions and better responses.
One of the ways to use these better lies is to let go of expectations of what we wished we heard from others and start saying them to ourselves.
Become Your Biggest Cheerleader
Our mind is hardwired to revert to what it knows because it’s familiar. If you grew up in a house where you received a lot of praise like, “You offer the world so much,” or even, “Someone out there will adore you,” you will expect that. Unfortunately, that isn’t the norm. For most of us, criticism is the norm, and so because criticism is familiar, we reject praise. Even worse, we begin to criticize ourselves.
“One of the biggest things to change in your life is to make praise familiar. Simple praise like, ‘I’m a good person, I have a good heart, [and] I think good thoughts.’ One of the most powerful things to do in therapy is to think of the words you’ve always wanted to hear and to start saying them yourself.” – Marisa Peer
What would a great partner say? “You’re the one! I just love your voice! I love everything about you!” What would a great boss say? “You’re indispensable for this company.”
Usually, the story we tell ourselves is that we’ll never hear those words. If we give up, we stop trying, which means we get nothing. We’ve given our power away to someone else, but if you decide to put yourself first and tell yourself what you most want to hear, you take your power back.
“[Say], ‘I matter, I’m here for a reason, I’m a good person, I’m lovable.’ … The most important words you’ll hear in your entire life are the words you say to yourself. Nothing would change your life more than letting in praise [and] not letting in destructive criticism. In my years of being a therapist, [I’ve] seen over and over — [if] I can get people to let in praise and not let in criticism, it changes their entire life.” – Marisa Peer
That’s an incredible insight from all Marisa’s years as a therapist. How significantly do you think your life would change if you accepted praise?
Accepting praise helps transform a negative mindset into a positive one — which turns out to be crucial in manifesting.
