Psychiatrist Carl Jung said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are transformed.” And Ernest Hemingway said, “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you are special too.”
Let’s face it — relationships are messy.
Falling in love is a beautiful thing, and it can bring us so much happiness. But when it doesn’t work out, it can be debilitating. When you have a deep emotional connection with someone, the breakup is that much harder to recover. Some people go straight for the rebound relationship, while others say they’ll never date again.
How are your relationships right now? It’s the beginning of a new year, but you may still be holding onto some limiting beliefs and lies about your self-worth. Maybe you want this year to be great, and you want to form new, strong relationships — but how do you do it? How do you achieve lasting love and commitment? It seems like an almost impossible task, but it’s one that we shouldn’t give up on.
Today, I have the perfect person to help us train our brains to attract lasting love and healthy relationships. He’s a favorite guest of the podcast, and he’s back today to share more of his amazing wisdom. My friends, I bring you, Dr. Joe Dispenza!
Who Is Dr. Joe Dispenza?
Dr. Joe Dispenza is an international speaker, researcher, author, and educator who is passionate about the findings from the fields of neuroscience, epigenetics, and quantum physics to explore the science behind spontaneous remissions. He uses that knowledge to help people heal themselves of illness, chronic conditions, and even terminal diseases so they can enjoy a more fulfilled and happy life as well as evolve their consciousness.
Dr. Joe is the New York Times bestselling author of You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, which explores our ability to heal without drugs or surgery, but rather by thought alone. His most recent book, Becoming Supernatural, talks about how we can intentionally change our brain chemistry to initiate profoundly mystical, transcendental experiences and develop a more healthy body, mind, and spiritual life.
Dr. Joe didn’t always work in the field of neuroscience. He started out as a chiropractor, earning his doctorate degree from Life University in Atlanta, GA. He had a successful chiropractic practice, but one day he had a dangerous accident. In 1986, while cycling in a triathlon, Dr. Joe was hit by a truck. He broke six vertebrae in his spine, and his doctors told him he would never walk again.
Dr. Joe asked four different surgeons what he should do, and all four of them prescribed a complicated surgery. The surgery would relieve some of his pain but nearly guarantee he would never walk again. But that wasn’t good enough. He refused to have the surgery and instead began to imagine himself totally healed. He visualized each vertebrae healing and reconstructed his spine in his mind. In just ten and a half weeks, Dr. Joe was back on his feet, and in twelve weeks, he was training again and back at work at his chiropractic clinic. He fully healed himself with just his mind.
I’ve had Dr. Joe a few times on the podcast now (Episode #826, Episode #679, and Episode #933), and in the past, we’ve talked about unlocking the power of the mind and breaking the addiction of negative thoughts. But in today’s episode, I wanted to change it up and ask Dr. Joe about relationships. Our conversation blew me away so much that I had to split this interview up into two parts, so stay tuned for the second part on Wednesday!
In this first part, we talk about how to create and attract healthy, lasting relationships, how to trade survival emotions for love, and how to transform a broken relationship into a healthy one. I’ve never heard Dr. Joe talk about life in this way, so I think you’re going to be equally blown away! Let’s get into it.
How to Attract True Love and Healthy Relationships
I think it’s safe to say that almost everyone wants to find true love. We want to find that perfect someone — someone who we respect, admire, and who accepts us for who we are. The problem is, finding that perfect soulmate only seems to be possible in romantic comedies and dramas. Out in the real world, true love seems like a myth.
Is it? Do we actually have the power to attract a compatible romantic partner? According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, we do. It all starts with writing a list of the qualities we are looking for in a partner and then embodying those qualities in ourselves:
“I always say, ‘Take out a piece of paper, write down everything you want in that person, and then become it.’ … Would you go out with you? [That] is really the fundamental question.” – Dr. Joe Dispenza
The truth is, finding your soulmate begins with your own self-development. If you want to be with someone kind, you too have to be kind. If you want to be with someone loyal, you too have to be loyal. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect — but in order to manifest that special someone in your life, you have to embody those same qualities.
Maybe you’re already in a relationship, but you feel a bit stuck. You love your partner, but you want your relationship to become even healthier and more life-giving. Dr. Joe’s wisdom applies here as well:
“If you bring your best, and the person who you’re with brings their best, and you celebrate life together, then there’s constructive interference. There’s growth. There’s energy. … We do these mediations to create love in our lives. … And so if thoughts [and feelings] are the electrical charge in the quantum field, … [then] how you think and how you feel broadcast an electromagnetic signature that influences every single atom in your life. The thought sends the signal out. And the feeling is the magnetic field that draws the event back to you, right?” – Dr. Joe Dispenza
In other words, if you’re not in a place of self-love or self-development, it’s going to be much harder to attract true love or maintain a healthy relationship. When you love life, love yourself, and love others, you’re putting out vibrational energy into the world and attracting similar vibrations back to yourself.
“We can think positively about the relationship we want. We could send the signal out into the field. … But if you’re not drawing the experience back to you, … your response is actually weakening the body. Then you will be a victim — more vulnerable to the conditions in your environment. … If you [want] a true relationship where it [is] fundamentally based on this concept called love, … you [need] to truly begin to practice trading those survival emotions every day for elevated emotions. … It’s a skill that has to take place [when] you move out of survival [mode].” – Dr. Joe Dispenza
Friends, the process of finding true love and healthy relationships starts with ourselves. If we can’t love ourselves, how can we love other people? If we are constantly reacting to our environment out of fear and survival, how can we find love from the chaos? Sadly, the truth is that many people struggle with switching their emotions from those of survival to love — but thankfully, Dr. Joe has a solution.
