Brené Brown said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others,” and Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” These two quotes together give the perfect formula for overcoming trauma and living a life of meaning and happiness.
It would be mostly right to assume that every single human on this planet has experienced trauma in one form or another. The reason could be something as natural as losing one’s pet to old age, or it could be as brutal as experiencing emotional or sexual harassment.
So while experiencing trauma is not uncommon, its repercussions could be disastrous if not addressed at the right time. Sometimes the reason behind this trauma could be someone else’s doing, which points to how important it is to set boundaries with not just strangers but also with our near and dear ones. Equally essential is also understanding the underlying physical and emotional causes that prevent you from healing.
I am so excited that you are here because I am obsessed with the content of Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist who is also our guest for this episode of The School of Greatness. Dr. Nicole believes that mental health is for everyone, and through her approach and guidance, she has helped numerous people create boundaries and heal. She enables a person to understand themselves and their deepest emotions, which further allows them to live their life.
“The first step towards healing in mind and body is knowing what you are dealing with — identifying the unsolved trauma.” – Dr. Nicole LePera
Before we take this first step toward healing with Dr. Nicole and deep dive into our conversation, let’s know a little more about her first.
Dr. Nicole LePera is a holistic psychologist who has evolved her more traditional training from Cornell University and The New School to one that acknowledges the connection between the mind and body.
Dr. Nicole views mental and physical struggles from a whole-person perspective and works to identify the underlying emotional and physical causes of pain. She understands that balance is an integral part of wellness and empowers individuals to heal themselves, supporting them in their wellness journey. With this key goal in mind, she founded the Mindful Healing Center in Center City, Philadelphia, where she works with individuals, couples, and families. She takes gut health, sleep movement, cellular health belief, and mindfulness into treatment.
“Healing starts with learning how to tap into the needs of our body and reconnecting with our intuitive self.” – Dr. Nicole LePera
Through her work and increasing popularity, Dr. Nicole has helped countless people understand mental health and all the different things that we struggle with as human beings. As we try to make our own place in this world, Dr. Nicole helps us figure out how to be the best human beings we can be and how to interact with other human beings who are on their own journeys just like us.
Let’s dive right into my conversation with the highly inspiring Dr. Nicole LePera and learn how to live a more balanced life.
There are many people trying to do what Dr. Nicole is doing, but their growth is not comparable to hers. It’s interesting how Dr. Nicole manages to guide fellow humans on their quest for fulfillment in life.
“The fact is that what I’m talking about resonates with my [audience] a lot. Whether it’s about the areas in which I’ve been stuck or I’m sharing about my own background, conditioning, and experiences or I’m talking about the process of healing and everything else that comes with it — in my whole story there are points that I think are so universally relatable. And when you can see, hear, and feel yourself in another human, you become attracted [to the idea of] hearing more and to feel understood. Then, when I shift and I start to talk about the work and the healing I’ve done, I feel like that can be empowering.” – Dr. Nicole LePera
Dr. Nicole goes on to talk about consciousness and subconsciousness and how either function. While consciousness is that part of the brain that makes us human and allows us to have access to logic and long-term planning, subconsciousness is the space that carries all the wounds from our past, which may often lead to emotional outbursts. Consciousness is where we are granted choice, and the subconscious is just going to run those same behavioral and emotional patterns which disempower us. So how do we change that feeling of powerlessness?
“When we are disempowered, … we become reactive to the environment. … This makes us feel powerless [and makes us] victims of the circumstances. [To change that powerless feeling] we have to practice consciousness. Change begins when you practice being conscious, practice showing up, practice observing yourself, and all the patterns. … It starts by practicing all the time consistently, … [but start small] because too much change too quickly overwhelms existence.” – Dr. Nicole LePera
The best way to begin practicing, as suggested by Dr. Nicole, starts by experiencing consciousness in one moment during your day. Then, take it up to two times, then three, and so on. Just taking a few moments a day to close your eyes and focus on your breath, is one of the ways of practicing being conscious. The idea is to ease into the practice instead of shocking your brain by trying to adapt too quickly. Once your brain is used to this pattern of thinking and approaching situations, you will find it easier to cruise through everything from relationships to your career in life.
I have often noticed people being afraid of good things happening to them, and it’s mostly because they think they are not worthy or deserving. It’s clear that some of us get caught in that negative feeling of being counterintuitive, triggered by the fear of what life would be without what we already have.
“If logically you really want a good thing, but subconsciously you are an unworthy human being, you will never get it. … [To come to a place of worthiness, you can begin it with a small] process. The first layer of the process is observing all of the times you tell yourself that you are not enough all day … and [consciously] replacing that [thought]. … You can’t stop it [completely], but you could just acknowledge that feeling, … observe it, … but don’t spend too much time on it.” – Dr. Nicole LePera
We often become shameful and frustrated when things don’t go according to us, and we think too intensely about it. This has a negative repercussion and could turn the tide against you even when you are already set on the path to success. The first step would be to detach your thoughts from your subconscious and observe them without judgment or critical thinking.
“If [negative] things happen in your environment and your subconscious suggests that the reason for this happening is because you are a loser, you can still show up consciously and thank your subconscious for reminding you of that. [But at the same time, don’t fall for the trap. Remind yourself that] this is not who you are and just don’t give too much time to it. … Focus on your breath, and … just remove your attention from your thinking mind and redirect it to your body and [feel the space you are in]. … Get out of your mind because the more time you spend repeating that you are a loser, you will just carry that feeling forward.” – Dr. Nicole LePera
Summing up what Dr. Nicole stated above, it is crucial for us to observe negative thoughts and remove the focus from them without any judgment. It is easy to judge ourselves in delicate situations and fall deeper into the pit of negativity and repulsion. Replace those thoughts instead with affirmations, and keep telling yourself that you are worthy. This can eventually lead to you feeling confident about your worthiness. Once you reach that point, your path to finding meaning and experiencing fulfillment will reveal itself to you.
Guys, I hope you picked up many valuable hacks from this insightful conversation with Dr. Nicole LePera. I hope knowing and learning about Dr. Nicole’s work really allows you to heal through your own traumas and your thoughts around them. There was a ton of other knowledge shared by Dr. Nicole in this episode of The School of Greatness, which you can watch using this link.
I appreciate Dr. Nicole’s wisdom and her ability to connect with her inner child and have a deeper conversation, and I find it powerful. If you too liked what you read in this post and want to learn more about her work and life, then do check out her website here. You can also follow her on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter.
Folks, if you know someone who is currently struggling through life and who may benefit from seeing this episode with Dr. Nicole, please share it with them. We always strive to create a space for collective healing, and if you like the direction we are headed in, please spare a few moments and give us a five-star rating on ApplePodcasts. I would be very thankful if you could also take a screenshot of this episode and tag Dr. Nicole, @the.holistic.phsychologist, and me, @lewishowes, on Instagram.
Thank you again, guys, for reading this post. I hope that this helped you and gave you some inspiration and some tools that you can utilize in your life right now. Even when we risk disappointing others, the greatest pain of all is in disappointing ourselves. I hope you know that you are loved and that you find it easy to love yourself.