Podcast

Esther Perel on Sexual Desire and Successful Relationships in the Modern World

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Yes, we are talking about relationships again on  The School of Greatness.

Partly because I love learning as much as possible about how to create and maintain healthy, amazing relationships (and I need a lot of coaching in my love life).

But partly because I heard today’s guest speak at Summit at Sea in November and I knew I had to have her on the podcast.

Esther Perel is a world-renowned relationship therapist, bestselling author, and sought-after speaker who has focused her career on exploring the role of sex and eroticism in making and breaking intimate relationships.

She has an incredible world-view of relationships in many different cultures, which has allowed her to see what works and what doesn’t on a bigger level.

I asked her a ton of questions in our interview and she had answers.

You may already have set ideas about what intimate relationships should look like, but I know you’ll get some new perspective from listening to this interview.

Get ready to get vulnerable with yourself as you take a look at your relationships in Episode 285 with Esther Perel.

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“Monogamy is the new frontier.”

Some questions I ask:

  • How does your anxiety and dread for things work for or against you?
  • Why did you write this book about sexuality?
  • What are the core reasons you see that end relationships?
  • How does your work support or not support your relationship with your husband?
  • What’s the ideal relationship in the modern world?
  • How do you know when it’s the person you can make a life with?

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • Why Esther was inspired in her work by the Clinton sex scandal
  • The cultural differences in how adultery is viewed around the world
  • The effects in the U.S. of how sex education is presented
  • Indifference, contempt, neglect, and violence are the main issues in any intimate relationship
  • Why people often treat their partner worse than anyone else

“A friend is someone who will always do more for others than for themselves.”

  • The impact our parents have on our relationship skills (this is big)
  • Women get bored with monogamy sooner than men (because the romance usually dies after marriage)
  • A better question than “What turns me off” is “When I turn myself off is”
  • Why investing in being your best self and pursuing what lights you up keeps you interested in a monogamous relationship
  • The relationship between emotional risk and desire
  • We now expect our partner to be a whole village for us since we live much more private lives
  • The 4 Pillars of Modern Relationships: Trust, Affection, Intimacy, Desire
  • The idea that your marriage can have different phases (like a new marriage each time) with the same person
  • The value of yearly check-ins with your partner (not when a crisis is happening) to see what’s going on
  • Why it’s important to separate the idea of failure from divorce
  • The Millenial generation are the children of the divorced and disillusioned
  • The influx of couples who are married but live apart aka LAT couples (more common in the older generation)
  • What originally attracts you to someone is often what eventually drives you crazy about them
  • Plus much more…

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Did you enjoy the podcast?

I learned A LOT about my relationships from talking with Esther. I think everyone can. Tag a friend who wants to hear about this!

“You don’t find your partner; you choose your partner.”




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