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If you’ve never experienced or been a part of a toxic relationship, congratulations!
You will still benefit from listening to this episode on The School of Greatness, however.
For the rest of us, this conversation with Transformation Coach Chris Lee (back for the 5th time by popular demand!) is powerful.
I’ve been a part of toxic relationships more than once, and they aren’t pretty.
And yet I stayed in them long after I should have.
Can you relate?
If so, the 10 steps Chris lays out in our conversation will be massively helpful to you.
Take it from me: toxic relationships are not worth it, whether they are romantic, professional, family, friends, whatever.
But it can be really really hard to end them if you don’t know how.
That’s why Chris and I wanted to discuss this process on the podcast. He breaks down each step, walks you through the how and why, and drops a lot of wisdom along the way.
This process is powerful and can free you from relationships in your life that need to shift or go away.
Listen close to Episode 164 with Chris Lee.
Subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or TuneIn
The School of Greatness Podcast
Some questions I ask:
- Why is it so hard to say goodbye to a toxic relationship even when we know it’s not the right fit?
- How does someone discover what they want in a relationship if they don’t know?
- What are your tools to get the courage to have the big conversations?
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- How toxic friends are like vampires
- Why we sometimes don’t recognize toxic relationships for what they are
“If you don’t manage stress, stress will end up managing you.”
The 10 Steps
Step 1: Identify if you’re in a toxic relationship
Step 2: Keep a record
Step 3: Identify the rewards of being in a toxic relationship
Step 4: Give up the excuses
Step 5: Get clear on your vision for your relationship (My vision for my relationship with _____________ is . . .)
Step 6: The Conversation – Be firm and clear that the relationship is over
Step 7: Grieve and mourn the loss of the relationship
Step 8: Fill the emptiness with positive people and activities
Step 9: Write down the lessons learned
Step 10: Self-love
- Plus much more…
“You know energetically if someone is adding or subtracting from you.”
Continue Seeking Greatness:
- Listen to all of Chris’ past episodes on the show:
- FOLLOW CHRIS
- Check out Onnit and their optimal performance products. Use the code “greatness” to get 10% off your next order:
- Music Credit: Children 2015 by Robert Miles
You may also like these episodes:
- The Truth About Successful Relationships
- Simple Ways to Increase Confidence and Overcome the Fear of Rejection with Jordan Harbinger
- How to Overcome Addictions and Be Courageously Vulnerable with Glennon Melton
Did you enjoy the podcast?
I’m pretty sure everyone can relate to what Chris and I talked about. Which Chris episode has been the most impactful for you? What has worked for you to end toxic relationships?
Fantastic interview. Chis is an awesome guest and has great insight!
Fantastic interview. Chis is an awesome guest and has great insight!
If there are going to be more Chris Lee’s I’d like to order one 😀 Spot ON this info, so so so good. Like water to the thirsty. Thank you!
If there are going to be more Chris Lee’s I’d like to order one 😀 Spot ON! So so so good. Like water for the thirsty. Toxic is my family crest! Which makes it hard to fully cut them out. I will be listening to this many times! Thank you!
This was incredible. Thank you!
Amin
Meredith Fulford I love that you listen to this.
Chose to be a bigger person and walk away from all negativity U0001f60a
Erika Morales
How does one not be a toxic person
You are welcome!
mitchbaldock Mitch listen to it again and give it 100% of your attention and take more notes – like I’m doing now again! :D I believe Chris said something to the effect of think of the opposite of what you don’t want. Seinfeld fan? Recall the episode when George did the opposite of what he normally would do and his life was fantastic? lol Just give yourself another hour of this lesson. What’s an hour if it clicks and changes alot of things in your life for the better? 😀
Fantastic episode Lewis and Chris – thank you! Love the part about how by knowing what you don’t want you can establlsh what you do want. So often that’s why we’re unclear and end up in toxic relationships as we don’t know our true values.
I can take it down to one step and it involves only an envelope of glitter
The best relationship advice I ever received is to fall in love with someone who will share your sadness, not someone who will share your happiness. Anyone can stay for the good times but it takes someone extraordinary to share the sadness.
Outstanding!
Been there. A toxic relationship sure sucks the joy out of life. Chris Lee is awesome as always and spot on.
You + Chris Lee = Holy Grail
Once again firing on all cylinders with Chris Lee Motivational Trainer, you two play off eachother so well, keep up the awesome podcasts
What a great episode… Really hit the nail on the head!
I am so grateful that I was able to catch up on some episodes today especially this one! It came at just the right time and is motivating me to embrace change and evaluate my relationships. I can’t wait to write about this and share. Thank you!
I’ve kept this podcast in the forefront of my brain over the past few weeks since listening in… So much solid advice to take away from it and yet, I’m still struggling to MOVE on it! I’ve implemented some of the things discussed and I’m committed to doing more. I have to thank you guys for putting this killer piece out into the world — no doubt it’s helping more than myself! 🙂 (Then again, I love ALL of your podcasts, Lewis.)
Great podcast! A couple thoughts and questions.
1. The person doesn’t have to be toxic, perhaps the relationship interaction is.
2. Chris does not touch on if whether or not the location of the conversation matters. Should it be a neutral place?
3. What about the case where the toxic person is doing the breaking up?
Lewis! Great podcast! A couple thoughts and questions.
1. I think a distinction needs to be made between breaking up with a toxic person and ending a toxic relationship. Neither person has to be toxic, perhaps the relationship dynamic is toxic.
2. Chris does not touch on whether or not the location of the conversation matters. Should it be a neutral place?
3. Chris says that one knows it’s time to break up when they’ve reached their boiling point. But isn’t the point to end it as soon as you identify the issue to avoid wasting time and energy?
4. What about the case where the toxic person is doing the breaking up, is the approach different?
Relationships are the most challenging yet most rewarding if you get it right
Looking forward to hearing what Chris Lee has to say about this! Timely!
That’s great, thank you U0001f60a
I may not be able to tell you this every day but I just want you to know that you mean the world to me. The day you stepped into my life you changed it into something so beautiful and meaningful. I may not be the first woman in your life but I want to be the last woman you ever loved. I may not be the first woman who made you feel loved but I want to be the only one to make you feel loved to the core .
I may not be able to tell you this every day but I just want you to know that you mean the world to me. The day you stepped into my life you changed it into something so beautiful and meaningful. I may not be the first woman in your life but I want to be the last woman you ever loved. I may not be the first woman who made you feel loved but I want to be the only one to make you feel loved to the core .
It’s not about what I want only. It’s about what both parties can give and will give in the relationship.
If I could turn back time ……etc
That was some great Spanish advice…. U0001f604
Fantastic interview. Chis is an awesome guest and has great insight!
This was incredible. Thank you!
Amin
If there are going to be more Chris Lee’s I’d like to order one 😀 Spot ON this info, so so so good. Like water to the thirsty. Thank you!
If there are going to be more Chris Lee’s I’d like to order one 😀 Spot ON! So so so good. Like water for the thirsty. Toxic is my family crest! Which makes it hard to fully cut them out. I will be listening to this many times! Thank you!
Meredith Fulford I love that you listen to this.
Chose to be a bigger person and walk away from all negativity U0001f60a
Erika Morales
How does one not be a toxic person
You are welcome!
mitchbaldock Mitch listen to it again and give it 100% of your attention and take more notes – like I’m doing now again! 😀 I believe Chris said something to the effect of think of the opposite of what you don’t want. Seinfield fan? Recall the episode when George did the opposite of what he normally would do and his life was fantastic? lol Just give yourself another hour of this lesson, whats an hour if it clicks and changes alot of things in your life? 😀
Fantastic episode Lewis and Chris – thank you! Love the part about how by knowing what you don’t want you can establlsh what you do want. So often that’s why we’re unclear and end up in toxic relationships as we don’t know our true values.
The best relationship advice I ever received is to fall in love with someone who will share your sadness, not someone who will share your happiness. Anyone can stay for the good times but it takes someone extraordinary to share the sadness.
Outstanding!
Been there. A toxic relationship sure sucks the joy out of life. Chris Lee is awesome as always and spot on.
You + Chris Lee = Holy Grail
I can take it down to one step and it involves only an envelope of glitter
Once again firing on all cylinders with Chris Lee Motivational Trainer, you two play off eachother so well, keep up the awesome podcasts
What a great episode… Really hit the nail on the head!
I am so grateful that I was able to catch up on some episodes today especially this one! It came at just the right time and is motivating me to embrace change and evaluate my relationships. I can’t wait to write about this and share on my site. Thank you!
I’ve kept this podcast in the forefront of my brain over the past few weeks since listening in… So much solid advice to take away from it and yet, I’m still struggling to MOVE on it! I’ve implemented some of the things discussed and I’m committed to doing more. I have to thank you guys for putting this killer piece out into the world — no doubt it’s helping more than myself! 🙂 (Then again, I love ALL of your podcasts, Lewis.)
Lewis! Great podcast! A couple thoughts and questions.
1. I think a distinction needs to be made between breaking up with a toxic person and ending a toxic relationship. Neither person has to be toxic, perhaps the relationship dynamic is toxic.
2. Chris does not touch on whether or not the location of the conversation matters. Should it be a neutral place?
3. Chris says that one knows it’s time to break up when they’ve reached their boiling point. But isn’t the point to end it as soon as you identify the issue to avoid wasting time and energy?
4. What about the case where the toxic person is doing the breaking up, is the approach different?
Relationships are the most challenging yet most rewarding if you get it right
Looking forward to hearing what Chris Lee has to say about this! Timely!
That’s great, thank you U0001f60a