There are many keys to success. To be truly successful, you need hard work, dedication, and commitment. You have to be willing to hustle to get what you want. You have to master your craft. But there’s one key to success that rises above all the others, and that’s the ability to understand and relate to all different types of people.
If you’re a business owner or a leader, you have to be able to understand and relate to your employees. If you’re a coach or public speaker who regularly addresses audiences of hundreds or thousands, you have to know how to address the variety of personalities in your audience. And if you’re going to be successful in your relationships with others, you have to know how to relate to them on their level.
It’s all about understanding the different personality types, and thankfully, my guest today is an expert.
You may remember my friend Chris Lee from Episode #36 — where we talked about the five steps you can take to get out of breakdown and start achieving your dreams — or Episode #54 — where we talked through the ten principles of abundance and prosperity. Well today, he’s back! And he’s got a ton of great information for us about the personality matrix.
According to Chris, all of the major personality types in the world can be basically summed up in just four different categories. We may shift categories based on the specific context or relationship we’re in, but each one of us has a “home base” category. And once we know which personality type is ours, we can begin to identify others’ types and grow in our ability to relate to all different kinds of people.
This episode is powerful — I think it’s going to go down as one of my favorites of all time! The wisdom Chris shares will definitely show you how to strengthen your relationships. Let’s go!
Who Is Chris Lee?
Chris Lee is an expert transformation coach. For the last 30 years he’s been a leader of leaders. His leadership workshops have transformed business owners, thought pioneers, and creative minds all over the world. I’ve even attended a workshop Chris led myself, and I can honestly say that it was an incredible experience. Over the course of his career, Chris has trained Olympic-level athletes, Fortune 500 business leaders, celebrities, and individuals who all have a common desire to elevate themselves.
Chris is also a pioneer and expert in emotional intelligence. He has a ton of wisdom and teaching to help his audience learn about themselves to improve their individual lives as well as relationships — it’s one of the reasons I keep having him back on the podcast! He has a deep understanding of how relationships work, and he’s excited about sharing that wisdom with others to help them maximize their lives and enjoy healthy and happy relationships.
Beyond being an excellent transformation coach, Chris is also a collaborator on Univision and The Fox Network. And finally, he’s the bestselling author of Transform Your Life: 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity. It’s an excellent read filled with information that is sure to help you level-up your life, so I highly recommend picking up a copy!
But first, make sure to listen to this full episode. In our conversation, Chris taught me a lot. He talked about the importance of understanding the four major personality types and how that understanding can help you at home and at work. Then, we talked through each of the four types of personalities, and Chris taught me about the strengths and weaknesses of each. And finally, we talked about how we can develop our weaknesses and learn how to shift into other personalities when we need to.
I learned so much from this conversation, and I believe you will too! Let’s dive in and talk a little bit about why it’s important to understand the four major personality types…
Speaking the Same Language
First of all, I want to clarify something — learning to understand different personality types and using that knowledge to influence and inspire people is not about manipulation. This is not about exploiting other people’s personality types for your own benefit. Instead, it’s important to learn how to relate to others so that you can increase your empathy, develop genuine connections, and have healthier and happier relationships.
“Part of emotional intelligence is knowing myself, knowing my strengths, knowing my weaknesses, but also knowing my audience, knowing my client, knowing my employees, knowing the people that I’m sending a message to and being able to identify what are their needs? What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? And by identifying what people need, we end up speaking the same language. … A lot of people have a breakdown because their message is one language and people are listening through another filter.” – Chris Lee
Have you ever been in an argument with someone and wished they could just understand you? Have you ever thought, “If only my boss would change,” or ,“If only my boyfriend/girlfriend could understand?” The reason we have those disconnects is because we have different personalities.
Different personality types communicate in different ways — it’s almost like we’re speaking different languages. Unfortunately, sometimes that means we experience breakdowns in communication. But if we can learn about the languages other people speak and learn to speak them ourselves, we can communicate much more effectively.
“It’s not about being fake, it’s about shifting … your approach to people.” – Chris Lee
As you read through this post, I want to encourage you to think about what personality type you have. Then, once you’re clear on your own personality, think about the other people in your life — how are their personalities different from yours? By the end of this episode, you’ll have the tools you need to relate to them more effectively, so read on!
The Four Personality Types
As I mentioned earlier, there are four personality types in the “personality matrix.” Each type has its own unique strengths and weaknesses. No type is “better” than the others — they’re just different! Remember to be thinking about which category you fall into the most. It’s okay if you don’t align 100% with one category — most of us overlap with at least two of them. But if you can find out which category resonates with you the most, you can understand a lot more about the “language” you speak.
#1: The Controller
The first personality category we talked about is the controller. The controller is a dominant personality. Controllers like to be right, and they’re powerful in their convictions.
“The gift is that they make things happen. These are the movers, the shakers, the people that do whatever it takes. … A controller’s confident, a controller’s a leader, they take initiative, … [and they’re] completely goal-oriented.” – Chris Lee
Controllers often make excellent bosses and leaders. They’re usually more formal, and they’re excellent at taking charge and confidently leading their teams to success.
However, like all personality types, controllers have weaknesses. Sometimes they can appear insensitive. They’re often so focused on having all the ideas and being right all the time that it can appear like they’re not willing to listen to others. They don’t take criticism well, and they’re often inflexible.
“And so if you’re a controller … you need to work on your social skills, your relationship skills, your listening skills, etc. … [And if] you are addressing a controller in terms of managing them … you need to speak their language. … If [you] show up wishy-washy or wimpy or unsure, it’s over. … [The controller’s] not going to trust you.” – Chris Lee
Any time you’re working with a controller, you have to bring the confidence. If you come across as unsure of yourself, they won’t trust you or respect you as a leader. But if you speak clearly, confidently, formally, and with a matching powerful energy, you’ll definitely win them over.
#2: The Supporter
In many ways, supporters are the opposite of controllers. Supporters are less concerned with results and more concerned with feelings. They focus on making others feel loved, acknowledged, and respected.
“The positive thing about a supporter is that they’re loving and they’re caring. They’re the nurturers. They’re the caretakers. They’re the people that will give the shirt off their back for other people. … The downside of a supporter is that they show up like a doormat. People take advantage of them. People walk all over them. … They don’t stand up for themselves.” – Chris Lee
When it comes to communicating with supporters, it’s important to acknowledge them. Whether you’re in a romantic relationship with a supporter or you’re managing supporters at work, make sure to take the time to show them that you appreciate all the incredible things they do!
And if you’re a controller yourself, work on owning your power. If you’re going to work with controllers, you need to show up confidently. Work on your courage and self-confidence so you can show up and take charge when you need to!
#3: The Promoter
So far, we have the controller and the supporter, and in many ways, they’re opposites. However, I said we have four personality types, and it turns out that the other two are also a pair of opposites! The first is the promoter.
“The promoter is the life of the party. They’re outrageous, [and] they’re all about relationships. … Promoters are all about being the center of attention. They want to shine and shine bright like a diamond.” – Chris Lee
Promoters are passionate people! They get excited, and they love to get other people excited too. People often love to be around promoters because they’re just generally fun to be around!
However, like all personality types, they have weaknesses too. Promoters are energetic and fun, but they’re also spontaneous — sometimes to a fault. They’re very good at starting projects, but not always great and finishing them. They have a ton of ideas, but they seem to suffer from permanent ADHD, and they struggle to really get anything done.
If you’re working with a promoter, the key is energy. You’ve got to bring the passion and excitement to any project you’re working on to get the promoter fired up and ready to work. And as a supervisor or coach, you need to be prepared to help them create specific goals to keep them on track to success.
#4: The Analyzer
The fourth and final personality type — and the opposite of the promoter — is the analyzer.
“The analyzer is somebody who is formal in their way of being — very strict dress [and] structured, but they’re easygoing in the sense of that they don’t really push through their ideas. … They could ponder on something for a long time before they make a decision. … Analyzers are great with numbers, great with computers, great with structure, organization, [and they’re] detail-oriented.” – Chris Lee
Analyzers — true to their name — like to analyze. They’re amazing when it comes to organizing and creating the structures we need to get things done. They make careful decisions, and they’re very disciplined.
However, sometimes all that structure and discipline means that they lack passion. They don’t always begin with enough energy and spontaneity, and sometimes they move so slowly and ponder ideas for so long that they miss out on opportunities.
To work with an analyzer, you’ve gotta bring the facts. They’re going to want to know all the details down to the smallest numbers, and they’re going to thrive in organizational roles. However, it’s likely that you’ll have to draw them out of their shells and coach them on being passionate and spontaneous.
How to Shift into Different Personalities
Now that we’ve gone through all four personality types, do you have an idea of which one you most fall into? I think I fall mostly into the promoter category, with a little bit of controller as well. I’m energetic and passionate, and I like to take control and really make things happen. But sometimes I find myself committing to too many projects, and as a result, I don’t complete any of them. That’s something I know I need to work on.
It’s important that whatever personality we are, we acknowledge that other personalities have skills and gifts to give. But how can we work on embodying the traits of the other personality types? Chris said it’s all about getting out of your comfort zone:
“If you have a hard time being passionate and expressive, then you could start doing things that are passionate. For example, … promoters love [to] dance. … So for an analyzer, one of the things that I could invite an analyzer to do is to find a place to go dancing.” – Chris Lee
Now that you have an idea of what personality type you most identify with, think about which type you struggle with the most. Then, think about some activities you could do to develop strengths in those areas.
Like Chris said, if you’re an analyzer, you could try to do something spontaneous, like going dancing! If you’re a controller, make time to sit down with your employees or family specifically to acknowledge them for all the hard work they do to develop your skills as a supporter.
If you’re a supporter, think about taking the lead on a project at work or taking part in some public speaking activities. And if you’re a promoter, think about finding a coach who can help you set specific goals and deadlines that you can be held accountable to. And remember — it’s not going to be easy, but it’s called a stretch for a reason! The idea is to push yourself to develop skills in other areas.
The ultimate goal is to be able to relate to as many people as possible. As a leader in whatever space you’re in, the ability to communicate in the same language as those you’re leading is priceless. If you can develop strong skills in all four areas, you’re well on your way to building healthy relationships and succeeding in business and in life.
Why You Should Listen to This Chris Lee Podcast Episode Right Now…
I learned so much from this conversation with Chris. His personality matrix is easy to understand, and it’s an incredibly helpful tool when it comes to building relationships. It works because, while we all have different skills, we all really want the same thing:
“At the end of the day, we’re all the same. We just have different masks on, and these are different masks. [Controllers have] that mask, but underneath it, they want the same thing we all do, which is to love and be loved.” – Chris Lee
That’s so true. We all want to be loved, and if we understand each other’s personality types, we can do a much better job of giving and receiving love.
Thank you so much for joining me today, friends! I hope you loved this episode. If you did, please share a screenshot along with your biggest takeaways on Instagram — Chris and I would love to hear what personality type you identify with most! Make sure to tag Chris, @chrisleemotivator, and me, @lewishowes.
Until next time, keep developing your skills in other areas! Strengthening your relationships is sure to lead you to success. If you’re ready to learn more about how to influence and inspire people by mastering the personality matrix, join me on Episode 80 with Chris Lee!
To Greatness,
Subscribe on iTunes, Stitcher Radio or TuneIn
The School of Greatness Podcast
“A leader is not concerned about other people changing. A leader is concerned about meeting people where they’re at.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- The one thing that all powerful people have in common
- A tool for being able to impact the maximum number of people in the world
- How to identify personality types and play to their strengths and weaknesses
“It’s not about being fake. It’s about shifting your approach to be able to reach people.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
- Learn about style flexing and how to cultivate the craft
- Why some people show up in different quadrants at different points in their life
- Learn where Chris and I fall on the personality quadrant
“I was Mr. Start-Everything-and-Never-Finish.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
- How to develop your non-dominant quadrants (and why this is important!)
- Plus much more…
“You want to be a Jedi master of the quadrants.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
Stuck? Find your Quadrant and Take Action:
- Analyzer? Be Outrageous!
- Controller? Be Vulnerable.
- Promoter? Keep Your Word.
- Supporter? Tell yourself, “I matter.”
“Ideally a leader has access to all four personality types.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
There is a great test you can take here to see which one you fall in the most of these categories. The key is being able to have access to any of them at any time. Which one do you fall into? Take the test.
Continue Seeking Greatness:
- Connect with Chris Lee:
- Music Credit: Earthling by Love and Light Music
“Ideally you want to be smack in the middle of the four quadrants.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
Did you enjoy the podcast?
What quadrant do you fit in? Are you an Analyzer, Controller, Promoter or Supporter? Please post in the comments section below and share what the best and worst part about your personality style is for you. Make sure to share this with your friends on Twitter and Facebook who you think could find this as powerful of an episode as I do. This may be the most useful resource out there for understanding how to connect with people and inspire them to take action on your vision (in business, relationships, life, etc) Thanks so much for listening, commenting and sharing!
“I find that when you lead by example. People follow.” – Chris Lee (Tweet)
If you enjoyed this episode make sure to listen to the other two with Chris as well:
– How to Envision and Achieve Your Dreams
– 10 Principles of Abundance and Prosperity to Enhance Your Business and Life
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