I want to start today’s 5-Minute Friday with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Many people go through life wearing a mask — instead of being who they truly are, they pretend to be a certain way to fit in. I talked about this topic in my book, The Mask of Masculinity, showing how men especially feel pressured to hide their vulnerability from the world. They run away from who they are on the inside because they’re worried other people won’t like them for it.
But hiding who you truly are is a recipe for negativity, mediocrity, and shame. Trust me — this used to be a HUGE problem in my life.
If being yourself is a problem you face, I’ve got a solution for you — I have three simple ideas that will CHANGE the way you look at yourself so that you can embrace who you truly are.
In this 5-Minute Friday, I want to share the three things you HAVE to understand in order to be yourself. Friends, it’s not worth it hiding behind a mask. It will only cause you pain and suffering. Instead, embrace who you truly are — you’ll feel freer than you ever did before.
#1: Rejecting Who We Are Creates Internal Conflict
When we show the world a different version of ourselves than who we truly are, we’re telling ourselves, “You aren’t good enough as is.”
This isn’t just an unhealthy mindset — it’s simply not true. You’re worthy the way you are right NOW — even if there’s something you want to change about your life.
Showing the world your true self is an act of self-love and self-respect. And realize it or not, you’ve got so many gifts, uniqueness, and brilliance inside you! It just takes a bit of effort to bring it out and embrace it.
#2: We All Have flaws and Mistakes
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is perfect. So don’t feel pressure to hide your flaws and mistakes from everyone else.
Some of us have personal traumas that make it hard to embrace our full identities. When I was just five years old, I was sexually abused by a man I didn’t know. For years, this pain traumatized me and made me feel unlovable. I wanted to hide myself from the world because if anyone knew, how could they love me? But my pain only got better when I started being vulnerable and sharing my story.
It only gets better when we lean into our traumas and get to work on accepting who we are and what has happened to us. Resist the urge to hide all your struggles and traumas from those you love — I know it’s hard at first, but the healing is so worth it.
#3: Being Authentic Makes You MORE Successful
It sounds a bit counterintuitive, but people DON’T like people-pleasers.
Your relationships will be more successful when you stand up for what you believe in and create boundaries. People are drawn to authenticity — not fakeness.
The people around you will trust you more when you’re vulnerable and honest rather than trying to present yourself in a tailored way.
And in business, customers are ATTRACTED to what’s new, unique, and authentic. They want to do business with real people. My uniqueness is actually one of the key ingredients of this podcast! I never want to pretend to be someone I’m not — I like to get real with guests and discover who they truly are. When people can be themselves, we’re able to learn so much more about them and create better relationships as a result.
So there you have it! The three keys to being yourself more often!
I’m telling you, please make an effort to understand these three things so you can work towards being yourself all the time. It’s SO freeing to take off the mask and live true to who you are every day.
If you want to learn more about these three key things to be yourself, join me on Episode 1.044!