A butterfly doesn’t begin as a butterfly.
It has to struggle to get out of the cocoon.
We can’t cut the butterfly out of the cocoon to make the process easier. It has to develop the necessary muscles it needs to fly.
Its beauty comes from its struggle.
Heartbreak, like any other obstacle, is essential for your growth.
For this special 5-Minute Friday, we hear a solo message from an amazing friend and artist: Humble the Poet.
Kanwer Singh aka Humble The Poet is a Toronto-bred MC/Spoken word artist. With tattoos, a beard, a head wrap, and a silly smile, Humble commands attention. He stimulates audiences with ideas that challenge conventional wisdom and go against the grain.
Most things are not in our control, and we have to move on from them.
The pain that you feel will soon be gone. Time will help you adapt and go forward.
Learn how to deal with heartbreak in a healthy way in Episode 783.
Lewis: This is 5-Minute Friday!!
Today we have a special 5-Minute Friday with Humble the Poet, a Canadian born rapper with some spoken words artist, poet, and international best-selling author. We’re talking about how to maintain a sense of self-worth through any breakup and how to decide your emotions.
He’s got a new book out called ‘unlearn: 101 simple truths for a better life.’ Let’s dive in.
Humble: A few weeks ago I hang out with Lewis and we went out for carbs and we had some real talk, we talked a lot about our heartbreaks, relationships in the past that didn’t go well, and I realize there’s not a lot of opportunities for spaces for guys to kind of talk about that we all for some reason have it in our head that we’ll be judge or consider soft in doing so. So, I really appreciate Lewis for creating that space for me, and really inspired these thoughts.
We experience a lot of intense when we’re [?] in the situation that we valued so dear. You know being thrown into a world that feels unknown we start to feel worthless, alone and scared. Everything we knew, everything we wanted gone so quickly. I’ve had my heart broken once or twice or more than I can count actually, and I thought ‘you survived it once it won’t be bad the next time.’ What I fail to realize is that the heart doesn’t break the same way twice. Whatever we go through the first time probably won’t get us a second, instead it’ll be something new and probably more intense that will knock us over again.
My heart’s been broken by friends, business partners, and girls way more than I care to admit and I’m fortunate to never experience any heartbreak at the hands of my family, some of you have betrayals sucks and I’m sorry if you’re listening to this and I’m reopening some wounds. A broken heart is an injury on the inside and there’s very little that we can do on the outside to make it feel better. There’s only so much that we can do and we’re mostly at the mercy of time.
Time heals all time reveals all and it does not work in our schedule. During this time life feels so intense and it’s really difficult to bear and we start to feel hopeless. I just want to say some things that I realize during the difficult times that I’ve gone through, none of it is easy and keep in mind that time takes its course. Most of these ideas only gain relevance when we go through a heartbreak, and as the realization that make me grateful that I went to those experiences. Our heart is an organ and it is not broken, but the stress we’re going through combine with the lack of sleep and poor diet and other choices can seriously harm our health. We have to make healthy decisions. Drinking may numb the pain but it’s really a depressant and it’s a dangerous addiction that dependence can develop.
My mother lost 2 brothers to alcohol, one after a divorce. Alcohol and heartbreaks definitely do not mix, also if you’re dump or cheated on or even worse realize that relationship come to an end because of a mismatch compatibility and priorities, not because you are not good enough. Don’t mistake incompatibility for your personal worth, if someone dumps you it’s because it wasn’t a fit or you weren’t taking them to where they think they need to be, even if they tell you you’re worthless you’re not. Even if you feel worthless you’re not, your personal worth is determine by you never allow it to be dictated by anybody else. If you can’t love yourself you have no business seeking love from others.
To be betrayed means someone didn’t end up to their end of the bargain, that bargain maybe assumed or explicit, either way promises are broken every day, ignoring this fact is a reason that broken promises sting so much. Expectations are the key ingredient to disappointment, the less you expect from others the less they can let you down. As much as your mind may say differently all we have is now, yesterday doesn’t exist, the future can only be assumed now is all we have and it’s what we need to focus on. We feel scared and confused when our plans are derailed, the truth is that uncertainty is the most realistic depiction of our future so get used to it.
Change is not the enemy it’s the only consistency in our life so let’s focus and practice at adapting. Happiness is not what happens to us, it’s how we deal with things that happens to us. Again, this is easier said than done but you’re better off even trying to gain some control on your life by deciding your emotions. We all have plenty to celebrate in our life and we can focus on what we have or what we lost, but that focus is a choice and the emotion that come with that focus are consequences of the choice that we make.
You see unhappiness is when that when that picture on our head doesn’t match the picture that’s in front of us. When we were a kid and we wanted a toy and our mom said no and drag us out of the store, we were heartbroken maybe even so mad we didn’t speak to her for a while but we got over it. As we grow our experiences just amplified versions of that story. We’re not going to get what we want all the time, realize that something is our control then most things are not. We need to meditate what we can and what we cannot remedy. The things we can is worth to move on from them. Comparing ourselves to others is just a thief of our joy, who gives a fuck how many of our friends are in relationship, and finally please realize everything we’re going through in life is temporary including our life as a whole. In the [?] of events we are gonna look back at this and realize how little they matter.
Harming ourselves are worst, can lead to permanent problems. To feel helpless is to feel like we’re drowning and the pain is deep sickening and it feels like there’s no end to the sight, I know that. But please remember with any problem we’ve had in our entire lives time has help us adapt to the change and allowed us to move forward.
If the stress and pain is too much to deal with please seek professional help. Your love ones may have the best intention but may not have the best tools and skillsets to help you get you to where you need to go. Emotions are related to chemical in our brain and we’re all unique in our composition so it’s okay to seek additional support to get overwhelmed of what we’re going through. I love you for the simple fact you’re taking the time to hear my thoughts, so please remember that you’re not alone, you don’t have to go through it alone. There are people who want and who can help you and who know how to help you. You see the butterfly has to struggle in a cocoon to breakout, if we were to help it by cutting the cocoon open it wouldn’t develop the necessary muscles in its wings to fly. Its beauty comes from its struggles and so do yours. Heartbreak like any other struggle is essential for your growth.
Lewis: Hope you enjoyed this 5-Minute Friday. Make sure to tag Humble the Poet on Instagram and myself @lewishowes. Check out the new book ‘unlearn: 101 simple truths for a better life.’
You were born for something great.
Lewis: Hey guys if you enjoyed this inspirational clip from a past episode of the show then you’ll love the free book I’m giving away right now It’s called the millionaire morning and it includes some of my best tips for starting off your day with a millionaire mindset. Get your free copy at the millionairemorning.com and just pay shipping, again check it out right now the millionairemorning.com