Dean Graziosi

The Voices in Your Head: “Watch the Stories We Tell Ourselves”

“You’re always gonna have two voices that live inside of you. You’re gonna have one to say ‘Ah, that’s risky’ … And you’re also gonna have this voice that says, ‘We got this.’” – Dean Graziosi

Have you ever experienced the tension between those two voices? I know I have. Too often we listen to the little voice in our head that tells us we’re not talented enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, or just not good enough to achieve our dreams.

So we don’t even try. We let our goals slip away from us a little bit at a time.

How can we avoid that problem? Dean’s answer is simple: “Fuel the voice that empowers you.”

He even says that’s it’s okay to have both those voices talking in your head… as long as one of them wins, even if just by a little bit. It’s so important that when that negative voice pops up in our mind and tries to convince us that we can’t do it, that we’re not enough, we choose instead to listen to the other voice. If we encourage ourselves, we can truly achieve anything.

Dean already has two children, and he and his wife have a baby on the way. I know that family is Dean’s top priority, so I asked him how he would explain his advice on this subject to his kids. Here’s what he said:

“I tell both of them, ‘Be careful who you listen to” … ‘If you have something that’s passionate and it’s driving you, you have to go for it in spite of what anybody thinks’ … ‘watch the stories we tell ourselves.’” – Dean Graziosi

The stories we tell ourselves really do affect the way we live our lives. If we tell ourselves we can’t lose those ten pounds, we’re not going to be able to do it. But if we tell ourselves we can start that business, get that job, or reach any other goal we might set, we can do it.

But there are other voices we should be paying attention to.

Find the Right Mentor

Dean had another really great piece of advice for me. According to him, while it’s important that we listen to the right voice in our heads, it’s also important that we listen to the right people. For Dean, the right person was Tony Robbins. Before he was the ultimate extraordinary businessman he is today, Dean was a kid who happened to be up late one night watching infomercials. He saw Tony Robbins on his TV, and realized what he needed was a mentor. He needed someone who was already succeeding in business to teach him how to succeed for himself.

Dean is a strong advocate for this kind of education. It’s a little less traditional than going to college and getting a degree in whatever you’re interested in. But this kind of self-education, where you seek out and listen to a mentor or someone already doing what you want to do, can put you on the fast track to attaining your goals.

Dean gave his wife as an example. Lisa is a hairstylist in their home state, Arizona, and she’s well known for being the best at what she does. Say you want to be a hairstylist, too. “You could go to cosmetology school … You could do it trial and error,” Dean says, “or you could spend a weekend with my wife and make several hundred thousand dollars rather than the $28,000 that’s the norm.” I don’t know about you, spending some quality time with a talented mentor to quickly learn some useful skills sounds great to me.

These days, it’s easier than ever to find the right role models we need to show us how to achieve our goals. The world is full of books, audiobooks, online courses, and a million other resources you can use to self-educate. Not to mention podcasts; you can (and should!) totally go check out Dean Graziosi’s podcast to hear even more details about how to get to the top in your chosen business.

It’s All About the Relationships

Dean has really shown me that both in business and in life, the relationships you build and invest in are crucial. Growing networks with mentors and role models in your industry are game-changers when you’re trying to grow a business for yourself. And often you have to treat those business relationships in a similar way to treat your more personal relationships.

Those of you who are already familiar with Dean’s Graziosi’s podcast, Millionaire Success Habits, or any of Dean’s books know that he doesn’t often like to discuss his personal life in public. But since he and I are already friends, he was willing to share a little more intimate advice. This point he makes is absolute gold:

“Empathy is probably the biggest word. Compassion … love is the answer to everything. It really is. Like, when you love your business, when you love your employees, when you love the impact you’re making on people … it changes the game.” – Dean Graziosi

Maybe it sounds silly, but when you really treat the people around you with love and respect, not only do you gain some really great relationships, but you can level up your professional life as well.

For Dean, that means investing a lot in his marriage. Dean married his wife about three years ago, but before that he had to undergo some major change. He grew and became a more empathetic person, and now he’s in the happiest relationship of his life! And right alongside that he’s been able to promote those values of empathy and compassion in his books and on his podcast, which has helped his business to skyrocket even further.

I’ve learned first-hand that building and growing relationships with other people can have a massively positive outcome for business success, too. About 10 years ago I attended a weekend Mastermind, where I got to meet other entrepreneurs. That weekend I made five solid business relationships. Now, the entire year before I attended the Mastermind, I made about a half a million dollars. But I made a quarter million in just the first month after the Mastermind, just because I’d started those relationships and partnered with those other people. All at once, I had five new relationships and a much more lucrative business. So I’m inclined to agree with Dean on this — investing in relationships can have fantastic financial benefits as well!

The Path to Financial Freedom and a Compelling Future

Now let’s talk about finances for a minute. I’m sure a lot of you out there were excited to hear the name “Dean Graziosi” just because you know he’s gonna have some great financial advice. I know I was!

I really wanted to talk to Dean about this idea of “financial freedom.” He agreed with me — financial freedom certainly doesn’t solve all our problems or guarantee we’ll be happy 100% of the time. But it can definitely free us up to start meeting some of our bigger goals for ourselves and our communities.

Money was tight when Dean was a kid. His mom worked three jobs just to pay the bills. So he made it his first goal to get his mom retired. Dean spent his early post-high school years self-educating, starting his businesses, and making enough money so that his mom didn’t have to work anymore. And he accomplished his goal — he retired his mom.

It was so inspiring to me to hear that story. Dean knew he wanted to help his mom out of a tough financial situation, so he made the money and gave her the financial freedom she needed. And that’s not to mention that he got himself pretty well set up to secure his own financial freedom in the process.

But, you’re probably asking, how did he do it? How did Dean make the money he needed to make?

“I was going after it. I was a hustler. Hands down, I was a hustler.” – Dean Graziosi

Dean works hard. I mean, he works his ass off. He’s always either writing a book, hosting a course online, investing in Masterminds, hosting his own podcast, or appearing on someone else’s (like mine!). He’s always traveling from place to place, and in his spare time, he’s working just as hard at being the greatest husband and father he can be. Sometimes I wonder if the guy even has time to sleep!

I asked Dean how he works so hard, what makes him want to get up every day and keep doing all the things he’s doing, and how we can have that same drive to hustle. He says you should “always have a compelling future, deciding what’s your best life and continu[ing] to reexamine and change it.”

Dean used the image of a lighthouse to explain it to me. A lighthouse is a “beacon of light,” to use his phrase, that shows boats where to go at night. Dean says our goals are just like that beacon. We need to imagine them like a light on a shore just a little far away from us. We’ve gotta go toward that light, right? And when we start to get close to it, we move the light just a little further away. We reevaluate our lives and our goals, and we dream up the most compelling futures we can imagine for ourselves. We move the light just a little further away, and we keep hustling, keep sailing toward it, until we’ve achieved our dreams and gotten that financial freedom we’re always after.

“I love my team. I love impacting the world. Nothing else gets my attention. And I think about somebody taking away any of that from me and I get out of bed faster, quicker, stronger than anyone and I have more energy.” – Dean Graziosi

I don’t know about you, that really inspires me to keep hustling toward my own dreams.

Why You Should Listen Right Now…

Let’s go back to the beginning. We are all good at something. Every one of you getting ready to listen to this episode has a special skill, something you do better than anyone else you know.

And every one of you has a goal. Maybe you want to start a business or a podcast. Maybe you’re ready to write the next great novel, finally apply for your dream job, or you just want to make a bigger impact on your community. Maybe you’re going after that financial freedom we talked about earlier — for yourself or for someone else.

Dean Graziosi has a lot of great advice, and it applies to all of us. Whether or not you’re going into business, we can all use a little more hustle in our lives. Whatever your skills, whatever your goals, Dean’s wise words are incredible and inspiring. Truly, we can all achieve our dreams… if we make them our top priority.

Join me on Episode 917 to learn how to get there with Dean Graziosi.

To greatness,

 

Disclosure: I am an independent Mastermind.com / Mind Mint LLC / BBG Enterprises Affiliate, not an employee. I receive referral payments from Mastermind.com / Mind Mint LCC / BBG Enterprises. The opinions expressed here are my own and are not official statements of Mastermind.com / Mind Mint LLC / BBG Enterprises or its parent company, Mastermind.com / Mind Mint LLC / BBG Enterprises LCC.