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Tim Grover

Why You NEED to be Selfish to WIN

Are you selfish enough?

J.W. Lynne once said, “You are so much stronger than you realize. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you’re not. Not even you.” And Tim Fargo said, “Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today.”

There will be challenges and obstacles that seem impossible to overcome, but if you start taking action, that’s when you’ll realize that they are actually doable tasks. Eventually, you will be amazed by how much you can accomplish beyond your expectations. So don’t sell yourself short, and don’t allow others to dictate how far you can go because you are stronger than you think.

My guest today is Tim Grover, a popular personal trainer whose clients include top NBA athletes, the likes of Michael Jordan, Dwayne Wade, and Kobe Bryant. In this episode, we will talk about what happens to us when we acknowledge our self-doubts, the three biggest lessons Tim Grover learned from Dwayne Wade and Kobe Bryant, how to change your life by adopting a winning mindset to yourself, and so much more. This is the second part of our conversation, and it’s a powerful one. So let’s get on with it.

Who Is Tim Grover?

Tim Grover is the CEO and founder of Attack Athletics, Inc, a training ground for world-class athletes. He is also a keynote speaker, consultant, and national bestselling author of the book, Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable. It is a book that shows you how to be relentless and achieve whatever you desire.

As a keynote speaker, Tim Grover has traveled to different places doing various speaking engagements for top-performing athletes, business leaders, and elite achievers. He is a columnist of Sports Illustrated and Yahoo Sports and appeared in various media outlets like FoxSports and ESPN.

Tim Grover is a former basketball player of NCAA Division I at the University of Illinois, Chicago, where he earned his Bachelor’s degree in Kinesiology and Master’s degree in Exercise Science. He was inducted in 2010 into the UIC Hall of Fame with the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Working among the greatest athletes has so many benefits. There are lessons you can learn from their greatness, and Tim Grover shares with us the lessons he learned from Dwayne Wade and Kobe Bryant.

The 3 Biggest Lessons Tim Grover Learned From Kobe Bryant

Every time we work with another person, be it a boss or an officemate, there are always lessons we can learn from them. Working with Kobe Bryant for several years was a learning experience for Tim Grover, and he shared with us the 3 biggest lessons he learned from Kobe.

“Obsession, … discomfort, and also winning.” – Tim Grover


When you’re obsessed with something, you will do anything just to get that something you want, even if it means doing things differently. For Kobe Bryant, one of his biggest obsessions was to have more championships than Michael Jordan. When Tim Grover asked him at one point when he plans to retire, he would answer, ‘After number seven.’ Michael Jordan had 6 NBA championships to his name, and Kobe wanted to beat that number by having an obsession for getting 7 championships and more. He had already won 5 NBA championships before the accident that took his life. He was so close to achieving that dream at an early age.

“Winning requires you to be different, and [being] different scares people. … So, after each championship, every single athlete, high-performance athletes I’ve worked with, even in business, would come up to me and say, ‘What’s next? Because I need to feel [that] again.’” – Tim Grover


Winning requires getting out of your comfort zone. For this reason, many wouldn’t dare try and simply settle down to mediocracy just to stay within the sphere where they are comfortable. If you aim to win in any competition, you have to be ready to face what lies ahead, even if it means exposing yourself to rigorous physical and mental stress.

During my interview with Kobe Bryant for episode 691, I was scheduled to meet Kobe at 8 am. I decided to go early at 6:30 am, and I thought I was the first one there since I turned on some of the lights. But to my surprise, Kobe was already in his office, resting. The staff in the gym told me Kobe was already there with his daughter for over an hour practicing. That’s how obsessed he was with winning that he had to go out of his comfort zone to practice early in the morning to improve his skills.

Was that a comfortable experience for Kobe? I’m sure it wasn’t! But he did it anyway because he knew what it takes to be the best.

The Winning Mindset

“A lot of people compete just to finish … without a purpose. … There are individuals that win, but they only win one time. … And then, there are people that win at winning.” – Tim Grover

Does this sound like you? How many times have you competed just to finish the challenge and get over it? Sometimes, we were lucky to win, but that was it, — just a one-time win. The hardest thing is doing it over and over consistently. Kobe Bryant didn’t aim to win in just one game. He didn’t even aim to win just one NBA championship.

 “The way Kobe describes winning is: …. winning is everything.” – Tim Grover

Regardless of whether it is an NBA game or playing with the US Dream Team against the best basketball teams of other countries, he has a winning mindset to win in every game and grab any championship at stake.

Do you also have a winning mindset in everything you do? Winning is not just in games. Having a winning mindset is beneficial in business and in your personal life, too. You can win in marketing, in branding, in sales, in market share, in your relationship with someone, and even in small everyday challenges like going to the gym for a workout. To be successful starts with having a winning mindset. And sometimes, you may need to be selfish to win.

Why You Need to Be Selfish to Win

We tend to look at selfishness in a negative light. But the truth is, selfishness can be good if you use it in a positive way.

“Winning requires you to be selfish. … What’s wrong with taking care of yourself?” – Tim Grover

People sometimes misunderstand us for being selfish if we don’t give enough time to them. And yet, if we take time out for a yoga class, for some leisure time with games, or when we travel alone for some adventures, they don’t complain about being selfish. 

“Meditation, self-improvement, [and] reading, … You do those things alone. Listening to podcasts — That’s time to oneself. … Why don’t people consider those selfish?” – Tim Grover

By being selfish, we can spend some time on self-improvement, find a new skill, or do some workouts to stay healthy. These are essentials in your life and in the pursuit of your dreams. That’s why you need to be selfish sometimes to win. This is one of the secrets of the greatest athletes.

“Winning requires you to be different and different scares people.” @ATTACKATHLETICS  

The 3 Biggest Lessons Tim Grover Learned From Dwayne Wade

Dwayne Tyrone Wade is another star athlete in the NBA games with three championships under the Miami Heat in 2006, 2012, and 2013. He is one of the top scorers in his era, averaging 39.3 points per game in one conference during the last four games of the finals against the Dallas Mavericks. Like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, Tim Grover also acted as Dwayne’s personal trainer. So I asked him what the 3 biggest lessons he learned from Dwayne Wade were.

“One of the things that I really learned from him was resiliency, … like how resilient he was with everything that was going on.” – Tim Grover

Resiliency is the ability to quickly adapt to the changes and easily bounce back in times of stress. It is an important characteristic that can help you cope with disappointments, losses, failures, and setbacks in life.

“Most people don’t win because they let distractions take them away from what’s really important. Those distractions are still going to be there, … [and] they have to deal with it.” – Tim Grover

How many times have you gotten distracted and stopped doing something that needed to be done? Did you allow distractions to affect your performance or your work? In basketball games, players are constantly distracted by the cheers of the audience and the negativity of the fans of the opposing team. But they don’t allow distraction to affect them, both on and off the courts. In fact, they use distractions to level up their gameplay — that’s resiliency.

“Those distractions actually elevate their plays … every single time. … Every single athlete I’ve ever worked with, every CEO, their distractions make them even more focused during that time.” – Tim Grover

Aside from the distractions during the games, Dwayne Wade also dealt with the distractions outside of the court and with his personal life. And yet, he remained focused on his games. That’s how resilient he is, and that’s one of the lessons Tim learned from Dwayne Wade. The other two are:

“Fun. … [He] seems like a fun dude. … And the other thing was, he had the shortest memory. … If he missed a shot, it’s okay. … Don’t hold on [to it].” – Tim Grover

Are you having fun at work? — You should be! If you enjoy and have fun with what you are doing, it means you love your work. When love and skills go together, you can expect a masterpiece. As you work on your masterpiece, you will encounter a lot of mistakes. But don’t hold on to your mistakes. Instead, learn from them, and move forward.

Why You Should Listen to This Tim Grover Podcast Episode Right Now…

Guys, this is an amazing conversation about winning, which is essential as we strive to achieve small wins every day in our journey towards a bigger dream. Listen to the full episode for more priceless insights from Tim Grover and don’t forget to share it with your friends. Follow Tim on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook for more wisdom from him, and subscribe to his Youtube channel for access to his videos.

This is our final episode of the two-part series. If you missed the first part, please check out Episode 1111, which is about the mindset of the champions with Tim Grover. In that episode, we talked about the mistakes most people make when understanding success, the three greatest lessons he learned from Michael Jordan, why we shouldn’t allow other people’s doubt to get in the way of our own success, and so much more!  

I want to conclude our conversation with Tim Grover with his definition of greatness:

“No regrets. I did everything. I may not have done the best, but I did it very well.” – Tim Grover

Do your best and have no regrets. You may not end up the best in the league, but as long as you did your very best, you are already doing great, and you’re at the level of greatness. So get out there and do something great every day.

To Greatness,

Lewis Howes - Signature

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What does it do for us when we acknowledge our self-doubts?
  • What are the three big lessons that Kobe taught him?
  • What does it do to us when we adopt the winning mindset?
  • How did you create time for yourself when you were training the biggest athletes?
  • Did you ever score a point against Kobe?
  • What are the three biggest lessons you learned from training Dwyane Wade?
  • How do the best athletes deal with distractions?

In this episode, you will learn:

  • The importance of sharing your self-doubts with someone that won’t judge you.
  • The importance of managing your focus instead of your time.
  • Why we need to rethink our idea of selfishness.
  • Tim reflects on his time with Kobe and how his passing impacted Tim’s life.
  • The best athlete out of all the people Tim trained.
  • Plus much more…

Show Notes:

Connect with
Tim Grover

Transcript of this Episode

Music Credits:

Music Credit:

Kaibu by Killercats

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