The Mental Health Toolkit: Defeat Loneliness and Learn to Love Yourself with Kati Morton

Racism, White Privilege, and Healing America with Reverend Michael Beckwith

 
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Alicia Silverstone

The Secret to Self Worth

Sometimes saving someone else will save you.

Even the most successful people can struggle with self-esteem.

You won’t be able to share your gifts with the world if you don’t feel worthy.

Often, finding a cause, we believe in can cause us to figure out who we are and what we stand for.

Be empowered to make a choice you believe in.

That’s why I am so grateful to share a conversation I had with an actress who has found meaning by taking a stand on Animal Rights: Alicia Silverstone.

 

“You eat three meals a day. That’s three powerful decisions you’re making- not only for you, for the world.” @AliciaSilv  

Alicia Silverstone is an actress, entrepreneur, New York Times bestselling author, and animal rights advocate. She’s started acting at an early age. She is known for starring as Cher in the comedy hit Clueless, and Batgirl in Batman and Robin, and she currently stars in the TV show American Woman. She’s written The Kind Diet: A Simple Guide to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Saving the Planet and The Kind Mamma. In 2004, Alicia was named PETA’s “Sexiest Female Vegetarian.”

Alicia shared how becoming famous at such a young age challenged her and caused her to find a cause about which she was passionate.

Learn about Alicia Silverstone’s personal journey of self-worth and hear about her new endeavors on Episode 709.

“Cultivate a connection with your heart.” @AliciaSilv  

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What was your biggest challenge after Clueless? (5:17)
  • Did your self-esteem increase after you made decisions about your diet? (12:54)
  • If you could only do one, which would you choose: acting or spreading your message? (26:30)
  • How were you able to handle all the fame? (35:13)
  • How did you learn about business? (41:37)
  • How do we cultivate our intuition? (53:09)

In this episode, you will learn:

    • How cleaning up her diet changed Alicia’s life (6:00)
    • What the Kind Diet is (11:00)
    • Why “Hollywood Diets” don’t work (12:15)
    • What Alicia believes is the root of the world’s problems (19:50)
    • The biggest lesson Alicia’s son has taught her (28:29)
    • About Attachment Parenting (29:37)
    • How breathwork changed Alicia’s life (54:23)
    • Plus much more…

Connect with
Alicia Silverstone

Transcript of this Episode

Lewis Howes:                 This is episode number 709, with Alicia Silverstone.

Welcome to The School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now, let the class begin.

Mark Twain said, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

And Wayne Dyer said, “Self-worth comes from one thing, thinking that you are worthy.”

Today we’ve got an episode with Alicia Silverstone who is an actress, model, environmentalist, author, businesswoman; all the things. She made her film debut in The Crush, earning the 1994 MTV Movie Award for Best Breakthrough Performance, and gaining further prominence as a teen idol, when she appeared, at the age of sixteen, in a music video for Aerosmith’s ‘Crying’, and then her famous role in the movie, ‘Clueless’.

Today we talk about her secret magic on finding your  main purpose for life. Also, how she got started in her own business, and how she was able to build a community. Why you need to follow your heart and truth to continue your journey of self-worth, and what it was like growing up on screen, and getting that much attention on screen at an early age. That and so much more.

Before we dive in, a big thank you to our sponsor today, which is paypal.com. Now, I’m a big fan of PayPal for business, I use it every single day to receive and send transactions, and it’s actually the first thing that I use to build my online business, back in 2009, believe it or not.

I used PayPal then, and I still use it now. And Walid grew up in the desert of Saudi Arabia. After emigrating to the United States, Walid wanted to share the health benefits of one of his favourite beverages from home, which was camel milk, with the rest of the world.

From the beginning he counted on PayPal to grow his business. While happy camels were was made his product so flavourful and nutritious, PayPal helped in increase conversion rates and turn his shoppers into buyers.

And, today, Desert Farms has over 80,000 subscribers around the world, his customer base is growing each and every day, and when it comes to growing your business, PayPal is your payments partner for today and tomorrow.

Make sure to go to paypal.com/growth, to set up a business account today. Again, you can sign up for free, right now. Go to paypal.com/growth.

Hey guys! Many of you have heard me talk about this amazing event I just participated in. It’s called 29029, and I first heard about 29029 from my friend, Jesse Itzler, who puts this on. Now, he’s been on the podcast a couple of times, he’s a freak athlete himself, and just an all round good guy, and he told me it was a unique experience that I had to try out.

And it was the equivalent of climbing, vertically, Mount Everest, over two days. And the only way I can really explain it is, it was part networking , part fitness challenge, and part get-to-know-myself type of a gut check.

These guys literally rent out a mountain. Now, they provide all the accommodations which are first class, the training guides, world class coaches, massage therapy, swag, and an intro into an amazing group of people. Think like a festival meets endurance event.

And here’s the challenge: You hike up the mountain, take the gondola down,and repeat.  And you do that until you’ve climbed the vertical equivalent of Mount Everest. And you’ve got 36 hours of time to do it.

Each event is limited to 200 people, and the one I did in Vermont, was completely sold out. But right now, tickets are on sale for the next two events. One is in Utah, and one is back in Vermont. If you’re interested, just text the word ‘EVEREST’, that’s ‘EVEREST’, to 444-999 or check out @jesseitzler right now.

And, as always, as you’re listening to this episode, make sure you take a screenshot, while you’re listening on your phone, tag me on your Instagram story, tag Alicia as well, and let us know what you enjoyed about this. Text it to a couple of friends while you’re listening and let’s spread the message of greatness to everyone.

Without further ado, the one, the only Alicia Silverstone.

Welcome, everyone, back to The School of Greatness Podcast, we have Alicia Silverstone in the house. Good to see you. Thank you for being here, and you’ve brought an array of products and you’re on the cover of this magazine and you’ve got books and you’ve got movies and shows and you’ve got a lot that you’ve been doing over the last twenty plus years.

Since everyone knows you in Clueless, which was a big hit, and you’ve had an incredible journey, so congrats on everything.

Alicia Silverstone:          Thank you.

Lewis Howes:                 What’s been the biggest challenge for you over the last twenty years, would you say, since having this big hit movie, and having an entire life afterwards? You’ve had a kid, you’ve come up with many different programs and products. What’s been the biggest challenge since that movie?

Alicia Silverstone:          I mean, I think that the challenges are more personal and things that are just things that everyone struggles with in life.  I think that one thing that was really big for me when I was younger, probably has nothing to do with being female, but I only know the female experience, because I’m a female, but what I kind of presume that most people have self-worth issues and struggle with that stuff.

And when I was about twenty-one years old, I made a choice to not eat animals any more, because I saw how we were raising them, and what we were doing to them. And once I saw it I could not deny it, and it broke my heart.

And when I made that choice, while I was doing it for the animals, it saved me, because it made me feel like I was empowered to make a choice that meant something. It was the first time in my life when I felt like, “Oh, I can stand for something,” because, being that I was young and having self-worth issues, it just was very difficult to know who you are and to now how to stand up for yourself in any circumstances.

And I was tough and strong in business in some ways, but there were other ways that I was just a complete mess, and so, finding this, and being able to say, “Actually, I don’t believe in this, this is just wrong, and I’m not going to stand for it, and I’m going to make choices that align with my heart and my principles and that feel good,” was just so empowering.

Now I was able to walk around feeling lighter and happier, and more free, knowing that I was really following my heart and my truth. And then, of course, the health benefits were just unbelievable, but just that kind of journey of self worth, I think, is a big one that we probably all have.

And that really, really helped me.

Lewis Howes:                 Now, weren’t you already a big star at that time? I mean, Clueless had come out and you were doing other commercials before that?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah.

Lewis Howes:                 So, why did you struggle with self-worth, when a lot of people were celebrating you for the things you were creating?

Alicia Silverstone:          Well, I think self-worth is so complicated and I don’t think being a movie star solves anything for anyone.

Lewis Howes:                 It almost heightens it, right?

Alicia Silverstone:          It’s just a job. I guess it can heighten wherever you are in your life, and I think your upbringing and all sorts of other things factor into what makes you who you are.and what makes you deal with what you’re dealing with, right?

But before Clueless, I had done nine films. I mean, I had started acting, professionally, I suppose, when I was fourteen, was my first acting job, in The Wonder Years.

Lewis Howes:                 Wow! How old were you in Clueless?

Alicia Silverstone:          Eighteen. Or, I think I turned eighteen on set. So, between then and there, I did The Crush, which was my first film with Cary Elwes. It’s a real classic, you should check that out.

Lewis Howes:                 Okay.

Alicia Silverstone:          And I did Hideaway with Jeff Goldblum and I did a movie with James Gandolfini in France called La Nouveau Monde.

Lewis Howes:                 As a teenager?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, this is all as a teenager. I did The Babysitter, Joel Schumacher produced it and then I did True Crime, with Kevin Dillon, I did a ton of movies, and so, by the time Clueless came around, I was sort of like, a really tired little actress.

I think that there’s been many challenges over the years, too personal to probably discuss, here, but I know that my foundation has always been to go back to The Kind Diet, the book that I wrote, because it was that foundation of standing for something that I believed in.

So, what happened is, once I cleaned my diet up, because I did it for these animals, then I felt so different inside, and I realised that all the gunk, all the trash that we put in ourselves, and all our intestines being all jammed up and how it makes us not feel good, when you don’t feel good, you don’t act your best. You can’t be your best self.

So, I ended up writing another book called The Kind Mama, and it’s very much about how to have the happiest, healthiest children, because, when you feel good, when your insides are clean and working correctly, and there’s nothing interfering, you feel amazing!

Your energy is different, your patience level is different. So, for me, that has always been the base that I go back to, because if I start going off of my favourite way of eating, the kind diet, too much…

Lewis Howes:                 You feel it.

Alicia Silverstone:          You instantly feel it. You feel it in your skin, you feel in the way you go to the bathroom, you feel it in your moods, you start to get cranky. And the second you just fix it with one meal, one meal of fixing it, and you can feel, energetically, like, “Oh! I’m much happier now!”

I mean, it really is an anti-depressant, the food, you know? You can really change…

Lewis Howes:                 Or a depressant.

Alicia Silverstone:          It’s a depressant, yes! It’s medicine, food is medicine. So you can really diagnose yourself, heal yourself and maintain a really, really happy, healthy lifestyle. But the thing is that’s it’s really hard to know what that feels like until you clean yourself out.

So, most people, including myself at nineteen years old – puffy, tired, exhausted, working hard, eating crazy, not even thinking about eating normal, just the way everybody else does, and until you clean it out, you really don’t know how icky you feel. You just think this is normal.

Lewis Howes:                 How do you clean it out? What’s the process?

Alicia Silverstone:          So, I wrote The Kind Diet, because I had friends who couldn’t poo for ten days and people who had all these illnesses, and so I would just help people with little pretend prescriptions of, like, “Eat more of this, eat less of that.”

And so, a lot of people said, “Will you just write a book?” And finally I did, and when I did I was able to put it all in this one place. So, The Kind Diet is a book about, if you really want to feel your best and look your best, and really be able to make change in the world – because, when you eat, you eat three times a day, essentially, right? Sometimes more, sometimes less, but that’s three powerful decisions you’re making, not only for yourself, but you’re making it for the world.

So, the easiest way I like to think about it is, here’s this plate of food over here, and here’s this plate of food over here. They’re both delicious, okay? But this one over here, it’s hurting the Earth, terribly, it’s hurting your body, and it’s making people who can’t eat, in other countries, who are starving to death, not have food, because we’re not distributing our resources properly.

This one over here tastes just as yummy, but it’s not doing any of those things. It’s good for the Earth, it’s good for your body, it makes you feel amazing. Which one are you going to pick? Duh? Right?

Lewis Howes:                 The good one, yeah.

Alicia Silverstone:          So, it’s just about acquainting yourself with what those foods are. And so, in my book, I go through all the foods and explain to you why these foods are really great for you and why you want to eat them – brown rice, quinoa, vegetables, greens, even having a little seaweed is so good, and I don’t meant he salty ones in the packets. Those ones are good!

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, because we want those ones! I love those!

Alicia Silverstone:          Those are good potato chips, but they’re not what I’m talking about. So, yeah, it’s just about making choices that are really going to make you feel vibrant, and well, and your best. And allow yourself to feel your best.

Because once you go through it, like, I challenge people to just try it for a week. And I just met a guy who was going to have to have something awful done to his tummy, and I gave him all this information, and I just said, “Why don’t you give yourself a month? You have a month anyway, your surgery’s scheduled for a month, why don’t you just try it?”

And already he just feels so much better, and they’re talking about not having to have the surgery. So these are the kind of things that happen.  And they do it in conjunction with their doctor. But it’s just about being aware that there are these choices that you can make that will make a huge difference and make you feel better.

Lewis Howes:                 Do you feel like your self-worth increased then, after you made those decisions?

Alicia Silverstone:          Oh, my gosh! Yeah, because I was no longer being irresponsible. I think, for a long time I was in denial. So, I was eight years old and I was on an aeroplane with my brother, and I was eating lamb, and he started making this sound of lamb. And I was horrified, because it had never occurred to me that the food I was eating was actually an animal, which I think is the case with a lot of kids – they don’t make the connection.

Why would they? No one’s telling them. They’re not like, “Hey, that pet co you have outside, eat that.” They’re just not really doing that. So, I think that we disconnect and in the disconnecting we allow it and it’s acceptable. But once you’re aware, I mean, that was really disturbing, to me.

And so, then I tried to be vegetarian, but I was eight years old and there wasn’t really anyone vegetarian around me, and so I just ate a lot of ice-cream and eggs – that’s not really healthy – and I ultimately forgot. I very strategically forgot about the issue, because, I loved meat. I loved it. I loved the taste of it.

Like I said, it’s not that it’s not good, it’s just that this other stuff is just as good, and happens to be really good.

Lewis Howes:                 Better for you, yeah.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, and so that was the first time that I dabbled with it.

Lewis Howes:                 At eight.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, so from eight years old…

Lewis Howes:                 Ice-cream and french fries.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, until I realised that wasn’t working,and then from eight until  twenty-one, I call myself a flirt, which is in my book, it’s that I was trying and I’d be thinking about it, and when I’d be around other people who are vegetarian, I would ask them questions and I’d be interested. But then, if I was out with other people, my selfish thing would come up and I’d be, like, “Can I have a bite of that?”

But it wasn’t until I really saw, first hand, what all this suffering was – for me, that’s what got me. Seeing the suffering, seeing the torture.

Lewis Howes:                 Of the animals.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, the animals’ suffering. I just couldn’t, I was, like, “This is unbelievable that this is occurring! I cannot believe that this is allowed! How on Earth?” I mean, I just was horrified that everyone wasn’t telling me this, and I just wanted to run around screaming rape and murder to everybody if they could listen.

But then I realised that wasn’t helpful at all. But in that journey it made me feel so different. It made me feel so different that I was no longer standing for something that I didn’t believe in. Because a lot of people say, “I’m really disappointed in what’s happening with the Earth,” but they don’t make any choices to actually make change.

Lewis Howes:                 They’re not standing up for something.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes. And so that doesn’t feel good. What feels good is when you actually say, “No, this doesn’t feel good, and I’m going to do something about it.” That’s what’s empowering. That’s what feels amazing. And then you can lie in bed at night and know you’ve done your part.

And believe me, I don’t do everything that I can, in every, I mean, I do everything that I can, but I make mistakes, and sometimes I do use a plastic bottle every once in a while, and I’m like, “Ah, I don’t want to!” And then I think , “Well, you know what? Most of the time I’m using my filtered water, from my sink, with my glass bottle that reuse over and over again.

So, if 99% of the time I’m doing something the way I want to do it, then I can be okay with the time that I don’t. But if I just always don’t, so, nothing is all or nothing. And that’s really what The Kind diet is all about.

It’s the way I live, a huge lesson that I’ve learned, it’s not all or nothing. I remember when I was younger, and I wasn’t on The Kind Diet, and I used to try and diet.

Lewis Howes:                 The Hollywood diet. Just, like, starve.

Alicia Silverstone:          Just, like, whatever diet you try to do. Just don’t eat Reese’s Pieces all day long. You know? Try not to eat Scores and Snickers bars all day long. And you start the day off, like, “I’m going to be really good,” and by the second you have the bad thing, you’re like, “Screw it, I’m going to eat whatever I want and go crazy.”

That mentality is not healthy. And so, where I have, now that I have this real foundation, not just not eating candy bars – I don’t need that stuff – now that I eat so clean and I feel so good, it’s okay that I have a whisky with friends one night, because I know where to go the next morning, to feel better again. To clean it out.

And it’s that foundation that’s so strong and so I do think that that foundation is the answer to everything.

Lewis Howes:                 Do you think that having that foundation throughout your career has supported you with whether it’s getting the part, or competing with other female leads in Hollywood, or whatever it may be? I’m not in the acting world, so I’m not sure exactly, but just the pressures of being in Hollywood and acting.

Do you feel like having that foundation allowed you to have more self-worth even when you didn’t get the part, or you didn’t get the job, or whatever it may be that you wanted, did that support you?

Alicia Silverstone:          It certainly did. I imagine that also, just my nature of, I just wanted to be a theatre actress, I was a theatre nerd, so I never had a desire to be in movies or to be in television. I just wanted to be an actress, so being that I was a little theatre nerd, I never had my eye on…

Lewis Howes:                 Movies.

Alicia Silverstone:          I never wanted to be famous, for gods’ sakes, I never knew what that was. So, when it happened to me, it didn’t feel great. I didn’t understand.

Lewis Howes:                 How did you handle all that?

Alicia Silverstone:          Not great. So, I mean, I really dove into, “How can I make this world better?” That distraction of being, I was genuinely, deeply concerned about what I was seeing in the world, with animals.

Lewis Howes:                 At nineteen, twenty, twenty-one.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, I mean, I started really working with animal organisations when I was, like, sixteen, probably. And then I continued to do that, and when I figured out that I can help all the people…

Like, to me, this is the most efficient, effective – little A-type over here, I like to be efficient – and knowing that food choices not only affects the animals, so you’re contributing to ending the suffering of creatures, not only makes all your illnesses go away and heal you and be able to really shore you up so you’re protected against illnesses…

Lewis Howes:                 The environment.

Alicia Silverstone:          Then there’s the environmental issue. Cowspiracy, these movies that tell you, that show you what’s going on with our Earth, and then, on top of it, you look at all the kids and people who can’t eat in the world, because we take their food and we feed it to an animal.

It’s so inefficient. And then we feed that animal to rich people, or subsidise it so people can afford it, but it’s not the cost that it is to the world and to that creature. Does that make sense?

Lewis Howes:                 Of course.

Alicia Silverstone:          So, it’s knowing that, instead of going to, like, they have functions to raise awareness for, say, shamans in the rain forest, or you’re going to go help the oceans, or your going to go help children who have cancer.

To me, all of them are wiped out with this one thing. And that is so exciting, that this one thing that you choose to do, eating, affects all of them. And that’s a slam dunk, for me. Like, why would I bother focusing on one thing over here, or one thing over there, when I can really get to the root of the problem and solve it from it’s inside out.

Lewis Howes:                 That’s a big challenge to overcome, though. A lot of people love to eat meat, and love the animals.

Alicia Silverstone:          Of course.

Lewis Howes:                 Do you feel like that’s ever going to change?

Alicia Silverstone:          Well, I just hope that we can seduce people into knowing.  Look, I was a food snob, I loved steak, I loved all of those things that you love to eat. When I said that there’s this plate over here that has this delicious food, but there’s this other plate, the recipes in my book are divine.

If I feed you, everyone who eats my food is, like, “Oh my gosh! This is so yummy!” So you’re not going to be deprived. There is no delicious deprivation, at all. You will be…

Lewis Howes:                 Satisfied, yeah.

Alicia Silverstone:          You will be satisfied, you will be turned on, you will be excited.

Lewis Howes:                 And you’ll feel good.

Alicia Silverstone:          You’ll feel good, and you’ll know that the choices you’re making are having such an impact on the Earth and animals and people. And so, to me, that’s the motivation.

You know, at nineteen years old, if you had said to me, “Alicia, if you make these choices, this will be a lot healthier for you,” I would have been like, “I don’t care.” I was nineteen, I don’t care about my health. You know what I mean? “Who cares?!”

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, “I’ll burn it off.”

Alicia Silverstone:          It was like, I thought if you were telling me to be healthier, you were telling me I was fat. You know what I mean? “Don’t talk to me about my health.” I was very defensive.” But knowing that I was making a difference in the world and that I was helping creatures and trying to end suffering and not contributing to suffering; that feels so good in the body, and feels so good in the soul. And so, that was my motivator.

But there are people who are not nineteen, who are adults, I think being healthy is something that’s really important to you, to many people, and having the right information and being able to make the choices. And you don’t have to do it all, you can have baby, baby steps, and just being informed, knowing.

What I love is, today, it’s very different today than 20 years ago when I first started this. Now, when I talk to people all the time who say… I was in the security line going into the airport, and this guy said, “I’m vegan,” and he was so excited to meet me, because he was vegan.

It was just a very unsuspecting person, I would not have assumed. So that was very exciting. But also, sometimes people say to me, “I love that you’re vegan. I want to be vegan, too, but I’m just not there yet. But I’m trying. I know it’s the way to go.”  And that is a big difference than twenty years ago.

Because I feel like twenty years ago…

Lewis Howes:                 You were like a freak.

Alicia Silverstone:          People were like, “How am I going to survive?” And now they know that it’s not about surviving, it’s this is the path of survival. You want to survive? Look at all the MMA fighters who are vegan and athletes who are vegan, because it gives them better performance.

So we no longer, in general, not everyone, but we have dispelled the myth that it’s not healthy. And now people know it’s healthy, they’re just, “Can I get there?” And so, they’re trying, and I think the more we try, if you do it two meals a day, that’s a great thing.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, one meal a day.

Alicia Silverstone:          One meal a day, just anything you can do to make the change and move in the direction. But I think being informed is really important, so you know why you’re doing it and you understand what those foods are doing to your body, which I go into detail in in the book.

And, I think, just also, if you can, give yourself a chance to really clean it out, because there’s nothing like the power of getting it out of you. And then, when you start bringing it back in you can feel the difference. And then you’re like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I get it!”

Lewis Howes:                 Sure, sure, wow! You feel like this is one of your main missions in life? To spread that message?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, I do. I feel like it’s this secret. So many actors are doing this, but they’re doing it for their own reasons, because it makes them look beautiful, and it makes them look young and it makes them skinny and all those things, which are all great, but it feels like you’re keeping this amazing secret from people.

Which is great, you don’t have to share this, a lot of people just don’t want to share this information. For me, I’m like, “That feels so selfish.” I have this magical secret that has changed my life, and made it so much better, and changed so many people’s lives, that I know.

And people getting off all their medications, with their doctors, but all the things that they had, gone, and they slowly go off all the meds with their doctors. And that’s the most amazing thing to me, and it’s so empowering and it’s so exciting! So, yes, it is my mission.

To help people wake up to this information and make the choices that they want to make. It’s no pressure and no judgement, everybody’s at different places in their lives, but just hopefully we can give them the information so that they can make the choices that’s best for them.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, and you know, it’s funny, I hang out with a lot of vegans. I’m not vegan yet, but I hang out with a lot of vegans, and I am always, like, “Let’s just go to a vegan restaurant,” because I do feel better, when I do it.

Alicia Silverstone:          That’s great.

Lewis Howes:                 And I focus on just having 80% or 90% on my plate just vegetables. And then a little bit of meat here and there. That’s the goal, because I feel better when I do that, but I used to just only eat meat. I’d just kind of be on a meat diet, you know?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah. Have you had the impossible burger yet?

Lewis Howes:                 I have. It’s pretty amazing.

Alicia Silverstone:          Isn’t it great? Did you have it at The Crossroads?

Lewis Howes:                 I know the guy who invented it.

Alicia Silverstone:          Tal?

Lewis Howes:                 No, the other guy, Dave, at Beyond Meat. I didn’t have it at Crossroads, it’s another place in Santa Barbara.

Alicia Silverstone:          Beyond Meat is a different burger than the impossible burger.

Lewis Howes:                 Is it? The impossible burger is different?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, they’re two different guys, so Beyond Meat is a very different burger, and that’s good, too.

Lewis Howes:                 The impossible burger is amazing.

Alicia Silverstone:          But you need to go try the impossible burger.

Lewis Howes:                 I have done it.

Alicia Silverstone:          Okay, at Crossroads.

Lewis Howes:                 I’ve been at Crossroads many times.

Alicia Silverstone:          Go and get the impossible burger.

Lewis Howes:                 I had it in Santa Barbara at another place.

Alicia Silverstone:          Okay.

Lewis Howes:                 It was amazing, I was just there recently. It was unbelievable, the pretzel bun, and it was just like…

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes, exactly! The pretzel bun! So then when you taste that, you’re like, “I don’t need the other.”

Lewis Howes:                 It tastes like a burger. It’s not essentially healthy for you, because it’s still processed.

Alicia Silverstone:          No, it’s just that you’re trying to satisfy that urge.

Lewis Howes:                 It’s very processed, it’s not like it’s healthy.

Alicia Silverstone:          No, but [neither] is a burger.

Lewis Howes:                 It’s healthier, maybe.

Alicia Silverstone:          It’s healthier than the burger.

Lewis Howes:                 But there’s vegans who are very unhealthy. A lot of vegans are unhealthy, who eat the wrong things, sugar tons of gluten.

Alicia Silverstone:          There are, but so are non-vegans. So it’s just a matter of why you’re doing it. Some people aren’t doing it for health, they’re doing it just for the animals.

Lewis Howes:                 Absolutely, yeah. But I love vegans. They inspire me to be better.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah. Woody Harrelson’s a real good example.

Lewis Howes:                 He’s at Crossroads? Woody?

Alicia Silverstone:          Woody Harrelson, the actor.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, doesn’t he go to Crossroads? He’s always at, there’s like the vegan mafia.

Alicia Silverstone:          There’s a million people, I mean, like, the Rolling Stones go to Crossroads, and they’re not vegan, and Johnny Depp eats there all the time. These are people that eat there all the time, not because they’re vegan, but because of how delicious it is and how good they feel.

Lewis Howes:                 It’s just good food, it’s amazing food, yeah. That’s amazing.

Alicia Silverstone:          But I was just saying, he’s a good example because he’s an older gentleman now, and, no offence, Woody, we love you, but he’s, you know what I mean, he’s getting up there, and he’s still so young, but the point is, he just looks so vibrant, he looks so well, he’s been doing it for so long and he’s a man’s man.

Lewis Howes:                 He’s been vegan for a long time?

Alicia Silverstone:          He’s been vegan for so long, and his skin is amazing! He just looks great, he’s so healthy. He’s a good example.

Lewis Howes:                 Wow, what’s your other main mission in life, do you think? And if you could just spread the message of eating in this way, or act, which one would you choose?

Alicia Silverstone:          Ah, that wouldn’t be fair, because I did do that for a while. I did, for a long time choose spreading my message more than acting. And I think at one point I sort of went, “Why can’t I do both? And how do I figure out how to be more effective?”

If I put all my energy into my activism, which is what I call it, then I’m not giving myself… I love theatre. I started doing more plays, I did a play with David Mamet, he directed me, and I did a play with Laura Linney on Broadway, and I did a play recently at the Manhattan Theatre Club – recently, like, three years ago.

But, yeah, I just want to do both now. And I think that there’s room to do both. I will say that I think my other mission is my son. I really take pride in being a good parent.

Lewis Howes:                 He’s seven, right? Is he vegan?

Alicia Silverstone:          He’s totally vegan, he’s hard core vegan.

Lewis Howes:                 Has he ever had any meat?

Alicia Silverstone:          No. He always, like the other day, someone was eating some fish and they were going to throw it away, and I said, “Bear, do you want to try it?” And his eyes got, like… Like, he gets like he wants to, and I go, “You can try it, Baby,” and he goes, like, “No.” He doesn’t want to try it, because he feels so bad about the animals, and he’s so sensitive and wonderful. And he will eat a little dairy here and there, as an out in the world casualty, but he’s not, he won’t…

Lewis Howes:                 At home he doesn’t, yeah.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, I remember at a pizza place for his birthday, and the have vegan cheese pizza, and there was, like, you know how there’s like a glass partition up, and then underneath it the food’s kind of pouring out?

So, some of it was coming out and there was a salami there, and bear was, like, “Look! Look!” And I was, like, “Yeah, I see that.” He said, “Should I try it?” I said, “If you want to,” and he was, like, “No!” So, he thinks he wants it, and then he doesn’t. So it’s kind of cute to watch him go through this process.

Lewis Howes:                 Oh my gosh! What’s the biggest lesson he’s taught you?

Alicia Silverstone:          Oh, focus, and prioritising and being present in the moment.

Lewis Howes:                 Are you scatterbrained too much?

Alicia Silverstone:          I just wish there were, like, eight versions of myself to do all that I want to do. I’m very passionate about life, and there’s so much to do, I can never get it all done. But when I met him, oh, when I met him – when I met my son!

Lewis Howes:                 “Oh! Hey, son!”

Alicia Silverstone:          When he came out of me, I remember making a pledge to him, and I talk about this in The Kind Mama, I pledge to him a way that I would want him to feel in his life. Like, what my parenting, what my commitment to him was, and it was so important to me – I probably won’t say the words right, because I can’t remember what I wrote.

But the idea of it was that I would always want him to feel like he was heard and seen and that he didn’t feel uncomfortable in his skin, around me or anyone. That he felt so sure that he belonged in the world and that he knew himself and was free to be exactly who he is and that I would not interfere with him at all, in terms of who he was and his spirit and his energy.

And that has been the way that I have raised him, and I did attachment parenting, he was on me all the time. He was on my boob, he was on my little pouch.

Lewis Howes:                 It’s called ‘attachment parenting’?

Alicia Silverstone:          Attachment parenting. But in The Kind Mama I talk about it a lot, too, but it’s really, they’ve studied, there’s a really wonderful thing called the continuum concept, and they study these tribes of people, and there’s not psychological damage to these children. There’s not issues with them.

These doctors did all these studies.

Lewis Howes:                 Based from parenting?

Alicia Silverstone:          Based on how these kids were raised, because the kids are with their parents all the time, the babies are on their bodies, they sleep with their mommies, they’re on the mommy’s boob, they have easy access, they can feel the heart, they can look at their mommy all the time, they’re just right there.

Lewis Howes:                 For how long?

Alicia Silverstone:          Until they crawl away, and that’s what they do. And then they’re fiercely independent, these babies, so it’s amazing!

Lewis Howes:                 Really? Wow! So the first year it’s attached, and then…

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, but attached doesn’t mean, like, inconvenienced, it’s more beautiful, it’s more bonding, it’s the most delicious thing. It was the most delicious thing in the world to me, being his mommy, at every turn and especially when he was a baby.

And your hands are free. You know, it’s like, doing this with a stroller, they’re further away from you, and I’m not saying I’m anti-stroller, I’m just saying I never used one, my kid was right here.

Lewis Howes:                 In, like, a little backpack thing.

Alicia Silverstone:          My Ergo, I had a baby Ergo, yeah, it’s like a little baby pouch, and it’s really, they’re always there, and that’s how they do it in all the other countries, they have their children right there.

Anyway, if you were to read Continuum Concept, you’d see they really track the social development of the child and how independent they are and how they have, they’re not…

Lewis Howes:                 They’re not attached after that.

Alicia Silverstone:          They’re attached like they love, but they’re not needy. My kid is so independent, my kid is more independent. And people are always shocked, who don’t do the same kind of parenting.

They’re like, “Whoa!” He’s just amazing! We went to see a concert recently, and I walked into the – and I wouldn’t have taken him, it was a little bit of a naughty move, but it was a girl’s band, and I wanted to go and my friend was, like, “Okay,” and so Bear came, and he runs, I mean, he runs away from me, up to the front of the stage, and I’ve got to go after him.

But he’s not afraid. He runs right up there and I go grab him, and I’m like, “Okay, we should probably go back, because it might hurt your ears. And then we were standing in the back, and then he finds this stairwell, and he decides to go up the stairwell, and he find the sound booth.

And then I follow the rope up, so we all kind of go under the rope, sneak underneath, because I’ve got to catch my son. He’s hanging out with the sound guy, and the sound guy has got him now moving and operating the thing.

Lewis Howes:                 No way!

Alicia Silverstone:          This is a seven-year-old, and he’s just totally, he’s made this whole thing. And then, at one point I go to the bathroom, and the guys try to get me out, the security says, you can’t go up there, and I said, “I know, I’m so sorry, but my son is up there, so I’ve got to go back up there to get him.”

And he was like, “You can’t.” And I said, “Well, you’ve got to come with me, because I can’t leave my son up there, so come with me.” So I go up there to get him, and I said to Bear, “We’ve got to go, because the security is asking us to leave.”

And the sound guy goes, “He can hang here, you guys can hang here.” And I said, “We can?” And he said to the security, “He’s with us.” And I was like, “My son did that! This has nothing to do with me! I was getting kicked out!”

Lewis Howes:                 Wow! Amazing!

Alicia Silverstone:          So, I just think that’s really cool that he’s so alive and awake, and happy to talk to anybody and make friends with everyone and not afraid and super independent, and forgets I’m there.

Lewis Howes:                 Have you read the book, [The Conscious Parent]’?

Alicia Silverstone:          I haven’t, but I’ve heard of that one.

Lewis Howes:                 It’s a really powerful book, yeah. Dr Shefali, it’s all about how to raise conscious kids. But yeah, it might be something to check out. But it sounds like you’re doing a great job.

Alicia Silverstone:          Thanks.

Lewis Howes:                 But that’s the biggest lesson he’s taught you, is about focus, presence?

Alicia Silverstone:          Oh, yeah, thanks for bringing it back, because when he was born, when I would be with him, everything would melt away. When he was on my booby, or when I was just being with him, just taking care of him, any moment of taking care of him just felt like the most important thing in the entire world.

And so, everything would go, all that angst, or need, or whatever, would just pssshht, gone. “I just am happy to be right here with you.” And that was pretty incredible.

Lewis Howes:                 Did you feel like you had no desire to want to be acting then, or that you were missing out on something?

Alicia Silverstone:          I still was acting. He came with me, I mean, really early on – I don’t know if this was a good choice or not, but it felt right. When bear was about two and a half months old, we went to New York, and I did a film, and he would just come on my booby while I was in the hair and make-up trailer, and then I’d hand him off to his dad, and I’d go work, and then I’d come back.

And then I was just constantly coming back to feed with him, and be with him, and that’s how he did it. And I was only working three days a week on that job, so it worked out pretty well. Yeah, it was like that. So, I’ve worked with him a lot.

And then there was the time I worked when he was eight months old, and I was like, I hadn’t slept, at that point, for more than two or three hours at a time, in eight months. So then, I was, like, “I’m losing it!” But then I got over that hump, that was very difficult to learn my lines, but then I did another movie.

I continued to work consistently with him, but I just was much more selective after that.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, right, on the productions you worked on, yeah. But you had been doing theatre, after Clueless, you had been doing theatre a lot more, or were you still doing both?

Alicia Silverstone:          Both. I’ve always been doing both.

Lewis Howes:                 What was the biggest challenge for you, after that when the fame started to come. How were you able to handle that and manage it? Was it overwhelming for you? Or did you feel like you navigated it well?

Alicia Silverstone:          I don’t think I handled it well, which is why I got into all the activism, I think. I was like this as a kid, too.  I remember my friends though I was really intense, because I was always interested…

Lewis Howes:                 Very passionate.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes, passionate. I’m Jewish, and in Hebrew school I remember getting into all these heated discussions with the cantor and rabbi, because I was always, like, “Why are we talking about what’s in the past? What are we doing right now? There’s this happening here, there’s this happening here.”

I didn’t really know what I was talking about, I was, like, twelve. I was twelve and under, from eight to twelve, but I knew that there was suffering in the world and that we should be handling it now, and not just, like, “Woe is us,” about our past.

Although its important to remember the past, but also important to move forward.  Which many people do, it was just that particular, you know, I was just a feisty little kid.  So I think that it always seemed important to me that there were deep issues and deep things to be dealt with and that, whatever we could do to fix them, I wanted to be a part of that process.

That’s how these were born.

Lewis Howes:                 So, tell me about it.

Alicia Silverstone:          I was pregnant with my son, and my midwife said, “You need to take a pre-natal vitamin,” and I was being cocky, “I don’t need…”

Lewis Howes:                 “I don’t need this, I’m healthy!”

Alicia Silverstone:          “Psht! What do I need a pre-natal for? I mean, seriously! I eat, what, for folic acid? I eat folic acid all day long! I eat greens, like, what are you talking about?” She was like, “But what about when you’re travelling or when you just have a naughty day, or you just lose it and you eat whatever?”

And I said, “Okay, I can buy that. So, like and insurance policy? Fine. I’ll take a pre-natal for an insurance policy.” And so I start looking for a vitamin to take, and I literally can’t find anything that’s as healthy as how I eat. Everything is loaded with either chemicals…

Lewis Howes:                 Sugar.

Alicia Silverstone:          Or sugar, and basically mostly chemicals. And I said, “this is ridiculous!” and I basically couldn’t believe it. Then I started asking, like, really doing heavy research, like, “There must be something out there that is clean.”

And even the cleanest that’s on the market, because there are a few companies who are more responsible, they weren’t certified organic, they weren’t non-GMO verified. They would have food in them, but then they were wrapped in chemicals. So that didn’t make sense to me, “Why are we taking food and wrapping it in chemicals?”

So I thought, “I’ve got to create this.” So I went looking for a partner, and I teamed up and I created this line called, ‘mykind Organics’. And what makes them so special is that the first line that we did, or round of products that we did – I wish I had it for you right now – it had this vitamin C spray and this B12 spray.

Lewis Howes:                 That you spray on your tongue?

Alicia Silverstone:          Uh-huh. And they’re so delicious the kids can’t stop spraying it in their mouths. It’s like crack.

Lewis Howes:                 Interesting.

Alicia Silverstone:          And there’s no sugar in it, it’s just pure fruits and vegetables.

Lewis Howes:                 Natural sugar.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes, yeah. But there’s no added.

Lewis Howes:                 Nature’s candy.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes, and even if you look at it, it zero’s out, there’s zero sugar in it. It’s not made with anything that’s naughty. Then we came out with this one which is the collagen builder, so this one really works for hair, skin, and nails. The people who do my hair and make-up, over the years, have been trying these and loving them. They really notice a difference with their skin.

And then we came up with gummies, and what was so special about these gummies is, there’s no gelatine in them.

Lewis Howes:                 How do you make a gummy then?

Alicia Silverstone:          We’re using fruit pectin. Gelatine is nasty when you hear what it is. It’s so gross.

Lewis Howes:                 It tastes so good, though.

Alicia Silverstone:          Sure it tastes fine, but it’s gross. It’s literally the slaughterhouse floor, all the stuff that you would literally sweep up and throw away, and they pour acid on it. So you’re eating the nastiest nasty with acid.

Lewis Howes:                 Sugar, though.

Alicia Silverstone:          That’s gelatine, that’s just to make gelatine. Gelatine’s the binder, so we are not using that, we’re using pectin and we don’t use any sugar. Any gummy on the market that you already use… Here, try this.

Lewis Howes:                 No sugar in this?

Alicia Silverstone:          There’s no added sugar, it’s made from organic peaches and apples. And this one’s really yummy, too. That’s our new one, so I’ll tell you about that.

Lewis Howes:                 I told them before I don’t like fruit, but…

Alicia Silverstone:          Oh no! You hate fruit! Don’t eat them.

Lewis Howes:                 I’ll try it though, for you. They’re not bad. I like this one.

Alicia Silverstone:          So, the gummies, what makes them so different is, if you were to buy and of the mainstream gummy, they have two teaspoons of sugar in each serving. And, I’m sorry, if I’m going to have sugar, I’d rather have a glass of wine, or whisky, or some amazing vegan cake that I make.

I’m not really interested in having it just be a part of my daily routine. That’s a lot of sugar to put in my body. This doesn’t have that it’s certified organic peaches and apples, and we even employ the most wonderful farmers, who are all organic.

It’s really lovely, it’s full circle, we know everything about…

Lewis Howes:                 Amazing!

Alicia Silverstone:          And then we started, what’s coming out right now, which I’m really excited about, is our herbal line. And so, the herbal line, these are immune-boosting gummies, so if you were sick you would want to be popping these elderberry gummies, or if you need a sleep remedy, there’s a good sleepy-time one.

There’s ashwagandha, there’s adrenals, there’s turmeric; turmeric tea, a really yummy golden milk tea.

Lewis Howes:                 Mmm. I love turmeric.

Alicia Silverstone:          It’s so good, and we have it in six different variations of what you need, if you need it for pain or if you need it for inflammation or what your thing is.

Lewis Howes:                 Where can people get all of this?

Alicia Silverstone:          You can get it on Amazon and you can get it at Whole Foods.

Lewis Howes:                 mykind Organics.

Alicia Silverstone:          Uh-huh. And what makes these, we worked very hard to be able to create this herbal, because our extraction method is so different, so anyone else who is doing turmeric right now, or his doing these herbals, what’s a bummer is that, A, they’re probably not using organic material, to begin with, but let’s say they are.

Then, they’re processing it;  their extraction process, to get the curcumin and all the good stuff out of everything, they use hexane, which is gasoline. So they’re using gasoline to extract, or they’re using GMO corn.

So, we are not using that, and it took us a long time to figure out how to do it, and we’ve come up with a water solution, just water, to be able to extract. And then, when we can’t do that, we use organic, non-GMO verified corn. So, it’s a very different, very thoughtful, from the root to the table.

Lewis Howes:                 And where did you learn about business and putting together partnerships and developing products?

Alicia Silverstone:          All of my business stuff has come out of a need. Again, it’s my desire to fix problems. So, I saw that there was this problem: I wanted to take a vitamin, I couldn’t find something that was good enough for me, and then I thought, “If this isn’t good enough for me, then what on earth are people taking?”

And everyone blindly takes vitamins, thinking, “Well, this is good for you. Of course it’s good for you, it’s a vitamin.” You never question what is in it. I doubt people ever read the label. I mean, some people do, but most people don’t read the labels of vitamins, and if you do it’s frightening what’s in there, they’re all made in labs. It’s just gross junk.

So, I thought, “This is absurd.”

Lewis Howes:                 Was this the first company you created, though?

  Alicia Silverstone:        Yeah.

Lewis Howes:                 And when did this launch?

Alicia Silverstone:          I don’t remember. I think it’s been about four years, maybe five.

Lewis Howes:                 Four years? So this is the first company you really launched, because of this need, this desire to have something better, how did you go through those steps? Did you find a business partner? Did you…?

Alicia Silverstone:          Oh, okay, so what happened was, the first thing I did was, I created my website, thekindlife.com. Well, thekindlife.com came – and it’s so pretty right now, we just did a makeover, it’s really looking pretty.

But we started that so that I would have, because I wrote the book, so The Kind Diet came out and I thought, “All the people who are going to read this, and get excited and turned on, and want more information, or be able to connect with veteran healthy vegans,” or people who are new to it, and they wanted to ask questions, and wanted a community.

And it was the most sweet community. You know, you on other sites, and it’s people saying mean things, and it’s all this trash talk, and it’s really nasty, and the internet can be really mean. This was a place where we were like, “Hey!” It was just love. Everyone had love. It was a total love fest.

And I would go on there and talk to people and it was so fun, people would ask questions like, “What do I do? My boyfriend, he’s doing this,” like, about food, “I want him to be vegan, but he’s not.” And then somebody will come in, usually me, and be like, “Just let him be and then maybe he’ll be there eventually, like, maybe,” and, “Show him this documentary. Have him read this book. Tell him it’s important to you, for your birthday.”

Whatever, give suggestions, and then everybody’s like, “Oh, this is what happened!” and so it was this community. So we did that, and so it was the book, the site, and then I started creating some products. So, I had created other products, but they weren’t my creation. This was all my brainchild.

That was, like, I was making these vegan handbags, I made them with hemp and soy ink, recycled plastic, so they were super conscious.

Lewis Howes:                 You were handmaking these?

Alicia Silverstone:          No, no, no, no, just designing, and creating, and deciding what they would be made of so that they would be super conscious. Mostly designing, so that they would be pretty. And also doing that for a beauty line, for a moment, and I think that’s all the things I did, and then this was my brainchild.

So, I think, just through working on those projects, I’ve got confidence to know that I can create something. Even with The Kind Diet, I was filling a need. I would give books away to people who needed information, and I kind of got stuck, at one point, thinking, “I don’t know what the right book is to give to that person and that person,” and I wanted a book that I could give to all of them.

I wanted a book that I could give to someone that would make them inspired and excited and feel like they were talking to their girl friend, or their guy friend, and feel that they’re a friend, and feel like, easy-to-read so their head didn’t hurt, but give them all the information they need from the best resources possible – from Harvard studies and from doctors and scientists.

But in a really palatable way and also in a really beautiful way, so that the information was – the book has beautiful photography in it – and that the food is really decadent and exciting and interesting. And so that no one can say, “Ah, vegan food is gross.”

You know? That it would be delicious, amazing food. So, like a book for foodies, but also for people who want to learn and grow and change. So that’s why.

Lewis Howes:                 You got your confidence from all that, yeah.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, because how well, I saw how successful, when I did The Kind Mama, the next book – that took me years, it was so hard and it’s such a labour of love, but I’m so proud of the book. And it helps women get pregnant, it boosts your fertility, it gives you a smooth pregnancy.

But I remember, when I was doing that book, I was like, “What am I going to talk about pre-natals? I have to talk about pre-natals, and I don’t have one I can tell anybody to take!” And so I was in a stuck situation. By the time I released the book, the vitamins were coming, so I was able to say, “There will be something coming.”

Lewis Howes:                 Did you find a business partner, or did you just kind of start going down manufacturers, or how did you do it?

Alicia Silverstone:          I’m lucky in that I had a licencing agent, because I had already done those licencing deals with the other companies I told you about, EcoTools and [GSPD?], and so I said to my licensing agent, “I want to create a vitamin, and I need a partner. Who do you think would be the best person for me to partner up with?”

And she started investigating and then set up a meeting with me, with Garden of Life, and I told them my ideas, they told me what they thought of it, and they were excited, and it was really a great partnership, because they were just as excited about the idea as I was. So we really found a good partnership.

Lewis Howes:                 Wow, that’s cool! I want to ask you a couple of final questions, if that’s okay? This is a question I ask everyone at the end of an interview, it’s called The Three Truths. I think you’ve had a pretty interesting life, you’ve lived many lives and experienced a lot of different things.

And The Three Truths is about the thing that you would say on the last day. So imagine it’s your last day, many years from now, and you’ve achieved and done everything you want to do. You’ve had the happiest life, you’ve lived the life you want, you’ve written books, you’ve created products, you’ve done the movies, you’ve done everything you want to do.

It’s all happened, but, for whatever reason, you have to take it all with you, so nothing stays behind. But you get a piece of paper and a pen to write down three things you know to be true about everything you’ve experienced.

These are the three lessons that you would share behind, if people don’t have anything else of your work, they couldn’t read stuff that you’ve written before, and this is all they would have to remember you by in the physical form. What would you say are your three lessons or truths that you would share with people.

Alicia Silverstone:          I think the first one is, for sure, to trust your instincts, and really, that’s a such an easier thing said than done. But to really harvest, cultivate, a connection with your heart and your being, which really helps by doing The Kind Diet, so that you can feel it and know it, and hear it. Because you can really feel your body when you feel good.

And then, cultivating the faith that you know what’s best at all times, and to just be able to ask yourself. So, I have – I don’t know if you know about muscle testing? I kind of do that with my heart, so I can go… And it’s hard to believe sometimes, because sometimes it tells you something that you just didn’t think would be the answer.

But it’s, sort of like, going inside, and it’s what I want my son to have. And he does, I mean, he fiercely has it, on his own. He knows exactly what he wants, he knows exactly what he thinks. I ran by a movie that I’ve been asked to do, and I was telling him all the reasons why it would be a good idea.

And then he goes, “Well, what’s the problem?” And it’s like, “Good point. Good point, Baby.” And this is a little seven-year-old. I try not to talk about too complicated things but he’s so clever in that way.

Anyway, I didn’t have that ability to trust myself for a very long time, and it’s so powerful when you can, and you just go inside and ask yourself, what you need and want and to be able to act upon that, I think, is the most incredible thing.

And I don’t know if we teach each other how to do that. I think parents often knock the sense out of [us] immediately with the “No”s and, “Don’t do this,” and, “You need to be like that,” and trying to carve their children to be, instead of allowing them to just be who they are, and cultivate trust and the trust that I have in my son, because he trusts his own instincts, and he’s right.

I mean, he led us into this place in New York, we were walking down the street, and he’s like, “Let’s go in here, Mommy. I was with my friends, and we were all out on the street, and I was, like, “Okay,” but I would never have walked into this place.

We walk in, great music playing, we all start dancing, we have a full dance party in the café, it’s nine o’clock at night, but it’s a vegan joint. None of us even realised! It was this amazing vegan joint!

Lewis Howes:                 He had the instinct.

Alicia Silverstone:          He had the instinct, so he’s like, “Just trust my instincts, Mommy.” But anyway, so, just trusting your instincts and knowing that you have the answers and being able to be your own Mommy. Like, if you didn’t have a mommy that was the best mommy, or the best parent, and even if you did, that kind of ability to parent yourself and love yourself and care for yourself in that way, and then definitely The Kind Diet.

Because, being on a plant-based diet is the secret to being healthy, feeling great and living a long healthy life without all the pain. I just posted something on my site about Bart. He’s eighty-one years old and he has no medication, he’s never needed any, and he’s so healthy and he’s so young and vibrant.

He owns The Candle Cafés in New York, these amazing restaurants. The Candle Café, Candle 79.

Lewis Howes:                 Candle 79 is a good place.

Alicia Silverstone:          Isn’t it great?

Lewis Howes:                 On 79th street?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah, Lexington and 79th. So you know it.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, it’s good. All my vegan friends take me to all the restaurants. We had an amazing chocolate, like…

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes! The chocolate, peanut-butter mousse thing. It’s just divine. Anyway, he’s this eighty-one-year-old, young, vibrant guy, and you know other eighty-one-year-olds who, A, don’t even make it to eighty-one, and the ones who do, are sometimes a little cranky.

So, he’s not. He’s a good example of it. And I guess those are my three.

Lewis Howes:                 You were speaking into intuition, trusting your intuition. Was there something in your life, where, had you listened to yourself sooner, you know you could have made a different decision?

Alicia Silverstone:          Oh! Yes!

Lewis Howes:                 Where you held on to something too long, where you were, like, “Eh, my intuition was telling me this, but I just kept doing it for five, ten, twenty years.

Alicia Silverstone:          Yes!

Lewis Howes:                 What are some of those things?

Alicia Silverstone:          I can’t! It’s all you! But there’s so many!

Lewis Howes:                 Really?

Alicia Silverstone:          I mean, no so many, but there’s some big ones, where it was, like, if I had had the ability to just take care of myself in that way and go, “What do you want?” Not be in your head about it, because you can analyse things to death, and go around and around in circles, and it’s all fear.

But if you just go, “What do I want? Do I want to go to this movie in the Hamptons right now? Yes.” You know? And not have to go through all the why and the pros and the cons and all that, you know what I mean?

Lewis Howes:                 Absolutely.

Alicia Silverstone:          So, yes, that’s the funny, simple example.

Lewis Howes:                 How do we cultivate that more, our intuition? And how do we, when we know we’ve – say we’re in a situation for a few years, and we know we’re supposed to get out of it, but we’re all so bought into it, we’ve already invested so much time and energy into this project, or this person or this life…

Alicia Silverstone:          Person. It’s usually the people. It’s the people!

Lewis Howes:                 How do we trust and eliminate that, or remove ourselves from that, without… How do we know that’s what we really want?

Alicia Silverstone:          I know. I don’t have the answer. All I know is, it’s not easy, because, sometimes those decisions, you’re just not ready to make them. Sometimes you’re still gathering information.

I’m more talking about the ones where, if somebody could have just smacked me, and just said, “Enough! Just get out!” that would have been ideal, a long time ago. I’m not talking about my partner. But, a long time ago I just spent so much time itching, “This doesn’t feel right! This doesn’t feel right!”

Well, if you’re itching and it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

Lewis Howes:                 Don’t do it!

Alicia Silverstone:          But I didn’t have that, I didn’t know this wisdom yet. So it wasn’t until I met someone, doing breath work, I was doing some breath work…

Lewis Howes:                 Ah! Breath work is key.

Alicia Silverstone:          And she really had me start to understand some deep stuff about myself that I was not aware of. Feelings of deeps stuff and, mixed with my diet, making me so clean that I could receive it. So it was diet mixed with… And then that opened my heart and my spirit, and then working with the breath work.

And then that cultivated self-worth, and the understanding of, like, “I’ve got to figure this out. Enough!” And it was soon after doing breath work that I was able to release this, and start making changes that needed to happen.

But I think that the diet, possibly breath work, definitely if you don’t have a great therapist – a great therapist is a wonderful thing, and they’re hard to come by, so you have to keep meeting them until you find the right one. But I think all of those things can be really, really helpful.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, supporting. That’s great.

Alicia Silverstone:          And if you don’t have that, then you have, you know, some kind of group that you go to, or you have an amazing friend. Like, lately, I feel so blessed with my friends, because these three women in my life, are just amazing, and I’m so lucky that I get to talk to them about everything! And they’re so smart and so loving and it’s really good.

Lewis Howes:                 That’s great! Well, I want to acknowledge you, Alicia, for using your wisdom for good. You’re creating conscious products, conscious books, doing the projects that you love, the activism, to give back. I think it’s really powerful that you’re using your platform in a positive way, to help people. And, for me, that’s incredible. And that’s someone who is a great individual, so I acknowledge you for all the good that you’re doing in the world.

Alicia Silverstone:          Thank you!

Lewis Howes:                 My final question for you; before we ask the final question, what’s the website, and where are you on social media, and how can we connect with you online, or follow the things you’re working on?

Alicia Silverstone:          thekindlife.com, I have Instagram – @AliciaSilv, it’s the checked one.

Lewis Howes:                 Silv?

Alicia Silverstone:          I think it’s Silv, I don’t think we kept the whole thing. And I neglected  to mention that I actually am an actress as well.

Lewis Howes:                 You’re working on a few shows right now?

Alicia Silverstone:          My show just had its finale, but you can watch all of the episodes.

Lewis Howes:                 You can binge it.

Alicia Silverstone:          You can binge watch it, American Woman, and it’s a really good show about the 70’s, it takes place in the 70’s, it’s amazing hair, make-up, wardrobe, music, it’s really good, and it’s about women’s liberation, women empowering themselves and growing and struggling and all the current things that we’re talking about in the last year, are really reflected in the show.

It’s amazing to see how far we’ve come, and how far we need to go, and my character can’t get a loan, a bank loan, because she doesn’t have a man. It’s like, we don’t think about that, this is in 1975! It’s crazy!

So, anyway, that, and I did a bunch of movies; Yorgos Lanthimos’ movie, and The Killing Of A Sacred Deer, and just working a bunch, so lots of fun projects, that I have been working on. But American Woman I am super proud of.

Lewis Howes:                 Amazing.

Alicia Silverstone:          And, yeah, I think you can find me on Twitter, and all the things, what else is there? Facebook.

Lewis Howes:                 You spend time on Instagram, personally, or no?

Alicia Silverstone:          I do things for my work and for my activism, and that’s really it. But my lifestyle, that might mean I just picked the most amazing tomato off of my vine at home, because I grow some food and I love it. So sometimes it’s just silly things like that.

Lewis Howes:                 Sure.

Alicia Silverstone:          This amazing tomato that I get so excited about. But it’s also all the film projects, and I was just on Jimmy Fallon.

Lewis Howes:                 I saw that. It was good.

Alicia Silverstone:          You did?

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah.

Alicia Silverstone:          And [Go Bear?], and that stuff, so I just post all that stuff.

Lewis Howes:                 That’s cool! We can follow you there?

Alicia Silverstone:          Yeah!

Lewis Howes:                 Very cool! Well, the final question for you is, what is your definition of greatness?

Alicia Silverstone:          The one that comes to my mind is my son! Just that free spirit, and being so in your body and not afraid of anything and not, like, there’s no walls up – that’s pretty great. But I also think it’s great when people make good in the world, like, really do stand up for what they believe in and fight for things.

I mean, there are so many wonderful people out there in the world, Jane Goodall, and a million Jane Goodalls, there’s so many Jane Goodalls everywhere. All the people, all the activists that I get to work with.

I was just in Washington, speaking in Capitol Hill, and recently in Sacramento, lobbying for bills to get passed, and I love going and speaking with politicians who are on the other side [to] me, and listening to them and understanding why they choose to do what they do, and trying to talk to them about why this bill is important to pass, and it’s such an interesting thing to do.

So, I think there’s greatness in all the people who are lobbying and trying to, not the regular lobbyists who are lobbying for, like, oil, that’s not so great. But I mean, fighting to end…

Lewis Howes:                 To make a difference, yeah

Alicia Silverstone:          To make a difference. And there’s so many people doing that, so I don’t know, there’s a lot of greatness out there. I hope that answers it.

Lewis Howes:                 Yeah, that’s great. I appreciate it. Thanks for being on.

Alicia Silverstone:          Thank you!

Lewis Howes:                 Thanks, Alicia.

Alicia Silverstone:          Thank you.

Lewis Howes:                 There you have it, my friends! I hope you enjoyed this episode! If you did, make sure to check out the full show notes, lewishowes.com/709, where you can watch the full video interview, check out all the information about what Alicia’s up to with her business, her books, and all of her projects back there.

Connect with her on social media and, as always, make sure to share this with your friends, you can post it on Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn and Instagram. Tag me, @LewisHowes, and let me know what you thought about this episode. Again, lewishowes.com/709.

We’ve also got our friends over at PayPal, again, paypal.com/growth. You can set up a business account today. Sign up for free right now. It’s something that I’ve been using for almost ten years, guys. I’ve been using PayPal and it’s been reliable, and I’m able to use it all over the world and it’s something that I’m constantly using and applying to my business.

It was was there with my first transaction in an online business and I’m still using it every single day. So, make sure to check it out for free. You can sign up today, at paypal.com/growth.

Hey guys! Many of you have heard me talk about this amazing event I just participated in. It’s called 29029. If you’re interested, just text the word ‘EVEREST’, that’s ‘EVEREST’, to 444-999 or check out @jesseitzler right now.

And I want you to remember these quotes that we talked about at the beginning. Again, Mark Twain said that, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

If you’re not comfortable with yourself right now, it’s time to get there. It’s time to start creating some goals for the life that you want to start living, and it’s time to start taking action on those goals, so you can lean into that person that you want to be, and become more comfortable with the person that you’re becoming proud of, from the actions you’re taking every single day.

Wayne Dyer said, “Self-worth comes from one thing, and that is, thinking that you are worthy.” No matter where you’re at in your life, there are things you can do today to increase your worthiness. Be your word, be in integrity, work hard, do what you say you’re going to do, and make other people smile.

I love you so very much, and you know what time it is: It’s time to go out there and do something great!

Music Credits:

Music Credit:

We Were Infinite by InukShuk 

Pixel Party by Vexento

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