When was the last time you gave yourself a high-five?
It might seem like a silly gesture, but there is more power in it than you know. Today’s guest knows just how powerful this self-affirming action is — so much so that she built her whole business around it.
I have the pleasure of having Mel Robbins on the show today. She is a best-selling author, TV host, and motivational speaker. She’s one of the leading voices in personal development and transformation. In her global phenomenon, The 5 Second Rule, she taught millions of people around the world the 5 second secret to motivation. Now she’s back with another simple, proven tool you can use to take control of your life in her new book, The High 5 Habit. If you enjoy this episode, make sure to check out our two previous interviews with Mel. I always love talking with her.
In this episode, we discuss how to learn to love yourself, how to stop engaging in negative self-talk, why Mel thinks everyone is using the law of attraction incorrectly, what we get wrong about jealousy, and so much more!
Who Is Mel Robbins?
Mel Robbins is a lawyer, television host, author, and motivational speaker born and raised in Kansas City, Missouri. Her books, The 5 Second Rule and The High 5 Habit have inspired millions of readers with their simple down-to-earth message about self-care and self-love.
As a self-proclaimed “screw up,” Mel discovered how to change her habits and become a happier, more confident, and more fulfilled person at 40 years old. It was such a transformative experience, she can’t help but shout it from the rooftops! Her mission is to reach as many people as possible and teach them how to transform their minds so they can thrive in every aspect of their lives.
Mel has so many great nuggets of wisdom on how to transform your mind and discover more happiness in your life. I can’t wait for you to hear and learn from this inspiring, empowering woman! Let’s get into it!
The Self-Care High-Five
In Mel’s words, “Tough love is a bunch of bologna.” She believes we respond much better to positive reinforcement than negative. I can relate to this as I think back to my coaches over the years. The ones who were positive and encouraging made me want to work harder for them, but the ones who were yelling at me and breaking me down made me not perform as well.
This is the same in life. We need to learn how to celebrate and love ourselves — to build ourselves up and not break ourselves down with a negative narrative every day. It’s so much easier to do this for other people, but we often forget to celebrate ourselves.
“We are amazing at celebrating everybody else. We cheer for our favorite sports teams, we buy tickets to our favorite musicians, we throw birthday parties for people, and we take on extra work for our colleagues. We help our family members out and our friends out. But when it comes to supporting ourselves, we don’t know how to do it. In fact, there are a lot of people that think it’s selfish to put yourself first or that you’re arrogant. If that’s you, I’m here to tell you it [putting yourself first] is essential to your well-being, to your fulfillment, to your happiness — all of it.” – Mel Robbins
According to Mel, if you’re feeling resistant to putting yourself first, it’s because you already have a deep story you’ve been telling yourself that you don’t deserve good things in life because of all the bad stuff you’ve done. Mel is here to tell us that’s simply not true.
Her entire business is around the power of the high-five, specifically the self-five. It started with a photo she took high-fiving herself in the mirror with messy hair and a retainer on. She realized by high-fiving herself in the mirror every day, she was boosting her morale and feeling better about herself. This photo instantly went viral and she started getting photos sent to her from all over the country of people high-fiving themselves in the mirror. At that moment she realized she had started a movement.
“A high-five affirms your deepest fundamental needs. It’s not just a gesture when you high-five somebody…When you high-five somebody or fist-bump or put your arm around them, that raised arm gesture in a positive sense triggers your nervous system to tingle with celebration.” – Mel Robbins
There have even been studies done in the NBA where they looked at the teams that made it to the championship. When they went all the way back to the preseason tapes, it was the teams with the highest number of first-bumps and high-fives that made it to the top.
There is a power in touch, but even more than that, it’s the power of encouragement behind the gesture. There is an energy in celebration. Even if you’re going through something difficult, you get a dopamine drip when you do this. You then feel a shift in your mood and become more motivated to get through the hard stuff. This is in part because of the positive programming associated with the high-five gesture. When Mel explained how this works, it blew my mind.
Mel has these five-day challenges on her website where you simply need to commit to high-fiving yourself in the mirror for five days straight. The mental shift that happens is nothing short of miraculous. So many people have found breakthroughs in that little daily habit alone!
Another tool Mel has in her toolbelt is the 5 Second Rule. This is also an easy, fast, and effective way to retrain your brain to get out of its default state.
