EP. 1774

05/21/25

Dr. Caroline Fleck

“I think it’s more important than love. You cannot have true love in the absence of having been and having consistently been validated.”

Stanford Psychologist: The #1 Psychological Skill To Master The Art of Influence & Transform Your Relationships

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What if the key to deeper connections isn’t in what you say, but in how you listen? Dr. Caroline Fleck, licensed psychologist and Stanford instructor, reveals the transformative power of validation – a skillset that revolutionized psychology yet remains largely unknown outside clinical settings. Her journey through depression and breast cancer gives her a unique insight into why feeling truly seen matters more than love itself. She breaks down the surprising science behind techniques like “copying” that can increase trust by 25% and even overcome implicit bias. This conversation unveils a step-by-step framework that anyone can use to create authentic connections, navigate difficult emotions, and transform relationships – whether you’re dealing with a suicidal patient or simply trying to understand your partner better.

Buy Dr. Fleckโ€™s book Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life

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"If you want to help people make profound changes, you need to help them feel deeply accepted." – Dr. Caroline Fleck
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And now let’s jump into episode 1774 of The School of Greatness! 

Some Questions I Ask:

  • “What have you learned as a practitioner that can help individuals in the real world?”
  • “What would you say is the step-by-step process for making someone feel seen and validated?”
  • “How do you validate someone that you don’t understand?”
  • “What is the science behind copying or mirroring that shows you how much more influential you can be in any relationship?”
  • “How do we get at peace with ourselves?”
  • “How do we learn to validate ourselves in a way that is healing for our mental health and helps us move forward in our lives?”
  • “What is the difference between validation and persuasion or influencing someone?”

In this episode, you will learn:

  • Why validation is the foundation of all human connection and may be even more important than love itself
  • The “validation ladder” โ€“ an 8-step process therapists use to make others feel truly seen and heard
  • How mimicking someone’s body language activates mirror neurons that help you genuinely understand their emotions
  • The counterintuitive way to handle your difficult emotions โ€“ feeling them fully without the narrative
  • A step-by-step process for self-validation that can transform shame into peace in minutes
  • Plus much more…
The School of Greatness Podcast
The School of Greatness Podcast

The School of Greatness Show

The School of Greatness shares inspiring interviews from the most successful people on the planetโ€”world-renowned leaders in business, entertainment, sports, science, health, and literatureโ€”to inspire YOU to unlock your inner greatness and live your best life.