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Robert Greene

How to Find Love & Master The Art of Seduction

HOW TO APPROACH LOVE, SEDUCTION, AND LIFE AFTER A BREAKUP

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you were seduced? Does the word “seduced” have a positive or negative connotation for you?

Seduction is actually a powerful tool when used the right way—it’s the art of getting what you want from someone without asking, and it can be used to get anything in life including love, sex, money, or even something simple like an ice cream cone! But too often people use seduction for the wrong reasons and end up hurting others instead of helping them. 

Friends, today’s guest is the incredible Robert Green. He is a New York Times bestselling author of the book, The Art of Seduction. Robert is one of my favorite guests to have on. He was actually the very first guest on the School of Greatness podcast, and he’s visited a few times since then. We’ll link all the previous interviews with him if you want to check them out.

In this episode, we discuss the biggest mistakes people make when trying to find love. We dive into how to maintain a thriving long-term relationship, how to master the art of seduction, whether you’re single or in a committed relationship, the three things to focus on after you go through a breakup, and so much more. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Robert talk about these subjects with so much depth, so you’re in for a treat.

Who is Robert Greene?

Robert Greene is a world-famous American author known for his books on seduction, strategy, and power. He has six international bestselling books to his name including the New York Times bestsellers, The 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War, Mastery, The 50th Law, and The Laws of Human Nature. His new book, The Daily Laws: 366 Meditations on Power, Seduction, Mastery, Strategy, and Human Nature, offers a daily dose of concise and refined wisdom through easy-to-digest lessons readers can learn each day. 

Growing up in Los Angeles, Robert attended the University of California, Berkeley before finishing a degree in classical studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. After finishing college, Robert worked many jobs, from a construction worker to a magazine editor, translator, and Hollywood movie writer, before eventually becoming a bestselling author.

Through his written works, Robert Greene teaches readers how to detach themselves from their own emotions and master self-control. He also shows them how to look behind people’s masks, how to develop the empathy that leads to insight, how to resist conformity to develop their own sense of purpose, and how to master the art of seduction.

How to Master the Art of Seduction

Seduction is not a word that should be taken lightly. It’s an art form, and it takes time to master. You can’t just show up at someone’s door and expect them to fall in love with you, even if you’re the best-looking person on the planet. There are many factors that go into seducing someone: your looks, what you say, when you say it, how often you contact them without seeming too needy or desperate…the list goes on and on! If there’s one thing to know about seductive techniques though, it’s this — they work. Seduction can make people feel special and unique, so whether you are trying to get a date, close a business deal, or just meet new people, having the ability to charm and captivate someone can make all the difference. 

“Even in love at first sight, … you still have to go through a process where the other person’s character that you start idealizing and romanticizing and thinking about them, … [there’s] that immediate attraction, there is still the seduction process that has to go on. So in the art of seduction, I make the point that political seduction, marketing seduction, social seduction is the same process. [Seduction] is getting the other person to think about you and getting them to fall in love with your product, with your idea, with your political platform, or whatever it is.” – Robert Greene

Seduction isn’t just about sex and relationships but it also applies to many aspects of life, including our careers, hobbies, interests, and even how we carry ourselves. There is social seduction, political seduction, marketing seduction, and so much more. But regardless of the type, they all go through the same process of getting people to get closer to you, or communicate more deeply with you. But you have to do it naturally, without causing the other party to sense that you’re manipulating them.

“If people sense that you’re trying to manipulate them, they will close off, and that’s why in advertising and marketing, they know that they have to make it seem like they’re not advertising — that is just kind of word of mouth, [or] just the average person on the street whose shouting their products, et cetera, because if your advertising and it’s so clear how you’re manipulating, [then] it doesn’t work. So the trick in seduction is to have such a gentle touch that people don’t even understand what’s going on; that’s what a master seducer can do.” – Robert Greene

How often do you find yourself in a situation where you want to ask someone out on a date, but are not sure how? Whether it is because of shyness or insecurity, there are many challenges that can come with the act of asking someone out. But it should first start from having self-confidence and projecting a degree of calmness while acting naturally with a gentle touch.

“So probably the most important lesson I tell people in the realm of seduction is to be able to project a degree of confidence and calmness and comfort with yourself. [These] are probably the most important qualities.” – Robert Greene

The first step to mastering the art of seduction is to believe in yourself. You are sexy, confident, and incredibly awesome! These feelings will radiate outwards and make you more attractive. Once you feel this way about yourself, it’s time to take action.

“Confidence is extremely important in the realm of seduction. You can almost not go wrong with it. Yes, you can border on being insane and grandiose, but the feeling of that person is comfortable and confident and has that kind of inner force or energy that’s coming up from somewhere they don’t know is very powerful and very compelling. … [On the contrary,] the lack of confidence is extremely anti-seductive.” – Robert Greene

Robert Green just shared the secret ingredient to seduction, which you can apply in many facets in life, including relationships. But some relationships come and go, even the experts in seduction are no exception. At some point in our lives, we all need to learn how to say goodbye. Whether you are single and ready for a new love or have been with the same person for years, breakups are an inevitable part of life. Coming out on top isn’t easy but it is possible, and our guest has some advice on how to move on after a breakup.

“You have to look and see the patterns that are making you fall for the wrong person.” @robertgreene  

Three Things to Focus On After a Breakup 

Breakups are hard, and they’re painful. No one wants to go through it, but sometimes they happen because we need a change in our lives. The world is full of different people and experiences that can help us grow as individuals, so don’t be afraid to let go of the relationship that isn’t working anymore. One day you’ll find someone who loves you for exactly who you are, and when you do, it will all be worth it.  But just like seduction, there is a process, and Robert advised to focus on three things after a breakup.

1. Know Who You Are and the Source of Your Desires

A breakup is a difficult time for most people, but it doesn’t have to be. Oftentimes we try to identify our desires as coming from the other person, but what if those desires came from you? What if those desires were your own and not anyone else’s? The first thing to focus on after a breakup is to know who you are and where those desires come from. Once you find yourself, then that will help you find more fulfillment in life than any relationship could ever give you.

“First of all, [it’s important] to become acquainted with yourself and to know who you are and know the source of your own desires. So, if it’s your very first relationship, it’s a little hard to see patterns. But you can begin to see patterns of the kind of person that you’re attracted to after the third or fourth time. Analyze that and be aware of it. ” – Robert Greene

When you become acquainted with yourself and see a pattern of relationships that hurt you or your partners, then it’s time to work on healing from the inside out before trying again.  

2. Open Yourself Up So You Can Heal

After a breakup, it’s often hard to know what direction is best for you. It can be easy to get caught up in the emotional turmoil and close yourself off from new connections. However, there are many ways that people find themselves during this time of need that can help with the healing process. One of them is to start opening yourself up a little bit.

“You have to open yourself up a little bit here. If you’re hurt again, at least you can say that the person who hurt me earlier on has no more power over me. I’m still able to fall in love. I’m still able to let myself open up to another person. It’s incredibly important to be able to feel vulnerable with another person. It’s a deep human need. It goes back to our childhood. It’s part of our human nature. If you close yourself off, it’s not only going to affect your romantic relationships, [but] it’s going to affect you in work and everything [else].” – Robert Greene

This is the time to open yourself up to new people, explore what’s out there, and get back into life after a breakup. You can’t spend your whole life complaining about a failed relationship; they happen for a reason and it might be time to move on. So, by opening yourself up a little bit, new opportunities might just show up that are way better than your last relationship.

3. Learn to Judge People by Their Character

We often judge people by their appearance, but have you ever considered that there is a lot more to a person than what meets the eye? It’s not always easy to tell, but if you take the time to look deeper, you will find out who they really are.

“The third is to learn to judge people by their character. … [It is] not the superficial charm and smiles and all the great stuff that they’re able to fake, but who they are deep inside. … Do they have some of these strong character traits? Can they take criticism? …That is such an important quality in a relationship. Get inside their character and be able to judge them on that basis, as opposed to the sexy veneer that they have, so, those would be the three things.” – Robert Greene

It’s hard to stay positive during a breakup. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against you and nothing will ever be good again, but what we need to remember is that there are people who love us and want us to succeed in life, despite our circumstances. When we stop judging ourselves for what has happened and start focusing on our strengths and knowing who we are, we can see how fortunate we really are. The opportunity of a breakup is an opportunity for self-discovery! It’s time to heal from the pain by starting fresh with new goals, new dreams, and new aspirations!

Why You Should Listen to this Robert Greene Podcast Episode Right Now…

Guys, this interview is jam-packed with so many words of wisdom from my wonderful friend, Robert Greene. Listen to the full episode for more, and don’t forget to share it with someone who needs to hear it: You could make a difference in someone’s life today.

Follow Robert on social media. He’s on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can also visit his website, Power Seduction and Love, and learn Robert Greene’s secret strategies when you subscribe to his emails.

Before I end this conversion, I asked our guest for his definition of greatness, and this was his answer:

“My definition of greatness is … realizing your potential to some degree. We may not realize a hundred percent of our potential, … but if your potential is to raise a great family and raise really great kids, and you’ve done it, that’s greatness.” – Robert Greene

Greatness is just a matter of realizing your potential and then taking that realization one step at a time. You don’t have to do everything in one day — just take it day by day, one task after another until eventually, you become the person you want to be. 

Friends, if you missed the previous episodes with Robert Green, check out Episode 1How to Master Anything and Achieve Greatness, Episode 713, Master the Laws of Human Nature, and Episode 1024, Overcome Tragedy, Create Abundance, & Embrace Failure. Also, let me remind you if no one’s told you lately that you are loved and you matter. So, go out there and do something great each day!

To Greatness,

Lewis Howes - Signature

“Love at first sight doesn’t necessarily lead to something. You still need to go through the process to find out the other person’s character.” @robertgreene  

Some Questions I Ask:

  • What’s the difference between seduction and love?
  • How do we open ourselves up to be vulnerable but not push people away?
  • What are some questions you can ask your partner to find out their secret desires?
  • What does the healing process look like when you start taking responsibility for your failed relationships?
  • How do you give your partner confidence if they’ve lost it after their past relationship?

In this episode, you will learn:

  • The biggest mistakes people make when trying to find love.
  • How to maintain a thriving long term relationship.
  • How to master the art of seduction.
  • The 3 things to focus on after a breakup.
  • And much more…
Robert Greene & Lewis Howes
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Robert Greene

Transcript of this Episode

Music Credits:

MUSIC CREDIT:

Kaibu by Killercats

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