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Rachel Hollis

Rachel Hollis: Manifest Success, Overcome Guilt, & Manage Negative Feedback

I don't think any of us saw 2020 coming...

I don’t think any of us saw 2020 coming…

Steve Jobs once said, “You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” And Warren Buffett said, “Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.”

In order to accomplish something truly great, you need more than just talent. You need drive, you need determination, and you need passion.

When you decide to pursue your dream, it doesn’t usually come easy. Chances are, it’s going to be a lot harder than you thought it would be. Maybe you decided to start a new business in 2020, but COVID-19 set you back a few steps. Or perhaps, you’ve been pursuing your dream for a long time now, but it still seems so far off.

The people who don’t reach their dreams are typically the ones who give up on them. Either they struggle with self-doubt to the point of it paralyzing them, or it becomes so tough that it feels better just to give up.

Does this sound like you? If so, I want to encourage you — every failure can teach you something and give you the tools to grow.

Today’s guest knows what it takes to stick it out when things get tough and never ceases to raise her work to the next level. Today, I have the pleasure of interviewing Rachel Hollis for a second time! In this episode, we discuss the number one key for overcoming self-doubt, how to manifest success, and how to launch something you’re proud of. Let’s get started!

Who Is Rachel Hollis?

Rachel Hollis is a mother of four and was named one of the “Top 30 Entrepreneurs Under 30” by Inc. Magazine. She also has a podcast out called RISE in which she talks with business owners and community leaders about how to improve your life and career. Rachel is an incredible example of following your dreams and not giving up.

Like myself, Rachel struggled with the fear of judgment. The opinions of others controlled her decisions and she lost sight of what she truly wanted. After writing several fiction books and working for over a decade on herself and her career, Rachel finally said enough is enough and took ownership of who she was.

Her life changed with one viral post that created the momentum for her bestselling book: An Instagram post of her in a bikini — “stretch marks and all.” She was proud of her body, including the imperfections, because it was her body and she loved it. It was the first time Rachel saw the power of being yourself and showing all of it — not just the pretty, picture-perfect stuff.

As a result, her seventh book, Girl, Wash Your Face, became a hit. In this book, Rachel tells women everywhere that they should stop believing lies that try to define them and start living as who they actually are. The book has been a massive success and has sold over a million copies (and counting!). She also released another bestseller, Girl, Stop Apologizing, which was also a massive success! And now, she’s out with a book that we can really all benefit from: Didn’t See That Coming is all about how to handle the unexpected and build your world back together after it falls apart.

Do you feel like your life has fallen apart? Do your dreams seem even farther away? If so, then get ready to be inspired by this incredible woman who proves that anyone can achieve anything.

Creating Confidence Even When Things Are Hard

Rachel Hollis has had a tough year. She’s experienced the pandemic alongside the rest of us, but through it all, she’s been going through a very public divorce. Her business has struggled, and she’s had to make a number of pivots this year.

But Rachel never gives up hope. She holds out, knowing that there will be better days. And in the meantime, she takes good care of herself.

“Even when things are hard, I take really good care of myself. … I do the therapy. I make sure that I’m emotionally okay. … Do I need to take a nap? Do I need to hang out with my girlfriends and laugh? I’m very conscious of how I’m feeling mentally, emotionally, [and] physically because … it takes so much intention to be able to have this much energy, to be in meetings all day, … it’s a lot. And in order to do that, I have to be at my best, so I am crazy intentional about how I’m doing.” – Rachel Hollis

Take a minute to check in with yourself. How are you doing? How are you feeling? Is there anything you need? It could be a nap or time with friends, like Rachel said. It could be a jog around your neighborhood, time with your kids, or your favorite meal for dinner. Whatever you need, take care of yourself.

By paying attention to where we’re at and how we’re feeling, we give ourselves the opportunity to build confidence — and that’s especially true when we’re going through hard times. When we experience challenges like divorce or job loss or anxiety over the pandemic, often the best thing we can do is continue to show up for ourselves. That’s how Rachel builds confidence, and you can do it too.

“I know it’s going to suck either way, right? … The personal stuff, the business, 2020, COVID — it’s going to suck either way. So if it’s going to suck either way, I may as well show up to the best of my ability. I may as well try as hard as I can. I may as well stay strong and keep going. … It’ll suck way less in the end if I stay in the game than if I sort of sit down and stay here and cry about how hard it is.” – Rachel Hollis

I love how Rachel’s perspective is both honest and empowering. The pandemic sucks whether you show up with a success mindset or not. So why not do the best that you can? Take care of yourself and keep working — we’ll get through this year, and if you get your mindset right, you’ll come out stronger than ever.

Handling Social Media and Feedback

Rachel has consistently shown up for herself this year, and I admire her for doing that. Still, she’s faced an enormous amount of backlash — particularly as a result of her divorce, but also from those who oppose her happiness at the results of the election. She shared with me that her business has suffered, and she’s received a ton of nasty and mean responses online. 

“I feel like we’re going to look back on social media and be like, ‘I can’t believe that this got to exist and there were no parameters on it and nobody controlled it and it was allowed.’” – Rachel Hollis

Let’s face it: If you’re an influencer, entrepreneur, or casual poster, you’re going to get feedback online. It’s just a fact. But that feedback can be incredibly damaging. If the feedback is negative, the damage is pretty obvious — it’s easy to get your feelings hurt by mean comments online. But positive comments can be just as damaging. When you receive too much positive feedback, you can fall into the trap of believing you’re greater than you are, and that can cause you to stop trying to learn and grow.

So how can we manage the feedback we receive online? Rachel recommended a simple solution: Don’t consume it.

“I decided that the only way that I could do this work was to not consume it. But it’s important to know [that] I don’t consume the good stuff either. I don’t feel like either one is good for me. The good comments aren’t good, and the bad comments aren’t good. … The good comments [are] not good because I just feel like that’s how you start to believe that you’re so great or so fancy or you figured it out, and I never want to reach the end of my evolution. … I think you could get really easily tricked into believing that you did it, you figured it out, you know? So yeah — I don’t consume it. I don’t consume it at all.” – Rachel Hollis

Next time you’re tempted to scroll through your Instagram or Twitter account and check how many likes, follows, and reposts you got, take a minute to think. Is that feedback hurting you or helping you? If you find it to be more damaging than helpful, just don’t consume it.

“Often I think when you don’t have the courage in yourself, you can find the courage for other people.” @msrachelhollis  

Overcoming Guilt

If there’s one thing Rachel is NOT feeling despite all the negative feedback she’s gotten, it’s guilt. Even though she has been struggling through divorce, new challenges in motherhood, and several unexpected pivots in her business, Rachel refuses to feel guilty for showing up authentically.

“I have zero guilt, zero. I think that this idea of like I should feel guilty because I’m no longer going to be married is insane. And it’s an antiquated notion that … is not something that he has to deal with. It’s fall out that I have to deal with, which is deeply unfair. … So I feel pain. I feel grief. I am sad for my children. … But guilt about this is not in it because guilt is the idea that you did something wrong. And I think that I made a decision that will allow our family to be the healthiest version of itself.” – Rachel Hollis

I admire Rachel for her commitment to herself and her family despite what people say about her online. She knows that she made the right decision, and she knows that she doesn’t need to feel any guilt. She hasn’t done anything wrong.

Have you ever received backlash or judgment from others for something you’ve done or not done? When we face major life moments like marriage and divorce, there are going to be people in your life who disagree with your decisions even though you may not be doing anything wrong. In those times, the important thing is to keep showing up as your most authentic self.

“The world will try and tell you what to feel, what to think, … who you are. You don’t have to accept that. … Nobody knows what went down inside of my marriage except for the person that I was married to. And it’s nobody’s business.” – Rachel Hollis

You don’t have to accept some else’s version of who you are. You create who you are for yourself. The key is to build confidence in your choices and accept only the identity you make for yourself — not the identity someone else creates for you. You don’t have to feel guilty!

However, if you have done something wrong in the past that you feel guilty for, that’s a little different. In that case, the important thing is to unpack that guilt and find a way to make amends.

“I think that it starts with … asking yourself, ‘Have I done everything that I can to make amends?’ That’s where it starts. … Then it becomes about unpacking why you’re still holding onto guilt. Is it something that you’re giving yourself? Is it something that someone else is asking you to carry? Or is someone else putting that shame on you? … I think it begins with understanding.” – Rachel Hollis

If you’re holding onto guilt, it’s time to figure out why. Why do you feel guilty? Did you do something wrong? If so, make amends as best as you can, and then let the guilt go. And if you didn’t, then accept that you don’t have to feel guilty anymore. Don’t be a prisoner to guilt — develop the self-confidence you need to move forward with strength and joy!

How to Manifest Success

Through it all, Rachel has seen massive amounts of success. She has been building her brand and her business for 17 years, and I think two bestselling books, countless highly-attended events, and a successful podcast speak for themselves. Rachel has a large following online, and her financial success has only grown.

So how does she do it all? How is Rachel Hollis the incredibly successful woman she is today? She creates that reality for herself.

“I coach myself. … I am just like, ‘Yes, you are walking through Hell, you are walking through fire, but you will come out the other side of this, and you will be invincible.’ And the thing is, we create our own reality. So that will be true for me because I am saying it to myself. I’m manifesting. I’m not manifesting like, ‘Oh, you’re going to come out the other side of this, and you’re going to get back all the millions of dollars you’ve lost this year.’ … I’m not manifesting that. I’m saying, ‘You’re going to come out the other side of this, and you will be unstoppable.’” – Rachel Hollis

Are you your own coach? Are you constantly pumping yourself up? When you give yourself positive feedback and encouragement, you manifest the reality you want. Rachel isn’t successful because she’s smarter, more talented, or wealthier than anyone else. She succeeds because she chooses to believe that she can. Even through the many challenges of this year, she’s maintained that confidence in herself, and it’s helped her to make the necessary changes she needed to keep growing her business.

That confidence-building isn’t necessarily easy, however. I get it — it’s easy to get discouraged, and it’s hard to break out of a negative mindset. So how does Rachel do it? She takes control of the negative thoughts first thing in the morning:

“When I wake up in the morning, I don’t allow myself … a single thought. Now, ‘I want coffee now,’ [or,] ‘I gotta brush my teeth.’ Nothing before I lay there and I just start to envision, ‘And this is what it’s gonna feel like, and this will happen, and this will happen.’ … I get that picture [of success] very clearly in my mind, and then I start my day. And that was probably the biggest, most helpful thing to me in this process because it was almost like I was throwing out a fishing lure and like hooking the thing and beginning the day.” – Rachel Hollis

If you truly want to manifest more success in your life, it starts with visualization. Don’t let the negative thoughts and feeling of fear, insecurity, or uncertainty take control of you. At the very beginning of each day — before you even open your eyes — start visualizing what your day is going to be. Imagine what it will feel like to succeed at everything you do, and then be amazed at the success you achieve.

Why You Should Listen to This Rachel Hollis Podcast Episode Right Now…

I loved this conversation with Rachel! She had so much fantastic wisdom to share, and I look forward to the next time we get to sit down and talk. We talked about so much great stuff that I didn’t have time to go into here, so I hope you’ll check out the full episode!

Before I share Rachel’s definition of greatness, I want to take a minute just to acknowledge her for everything she’s done this year. She has never wavered in who she is, and she consistently shows up as her authentic self — even when that means upsetting people. She holds onto what she believes is right, and she’s living her truth. I’m grateful for her and for the way she shows up for her community, and I know she’ll continue to do great things for those who follow her!

I really love Rachel’s definition of greatness, and I think she truly lives up to it:

“I would say my definition of greatness today is evolving — meaning evolving as a person. My greatest personal value is growth, and to be great, I think you have to constantly strive for what does great look like now versus what it looked like a year ago. … There’s so much possibility and opportunity that’s available to all of us if we cling to the future vision we have of ourselves. So greatness to me looks like leveling up consistently as long as you are alive.” – Rachel Hollis

How are you evolving? Are you seeking to grow a little bit every day? If so, you are truly great, just like Rachel Hollis.

Thank you so much for joining me today! I hope you got as much out of this conversation as I did! If you loved this episode, please take a screenshot and share it on Instagram along with your biggest takeaways. And make sure to tag Rachel, @msrachelhollis, and me, @lewishowes. We’d love to hear what you got from the episode!

And don’t forget to check out Rachel’s new book, Didn’t See That Coming. I know that this is going to be a great read full of Rachel’s signature wisdom!

Until next time — keep evolving. You have the power to become great!

To Greatness,

Lewis Howes - Signature

“Success is a slow process and so many people drop out of the race because they want it to be overnight.” @msrachelhollis  

Some Questions I Ask:

  • With all of the pain and struggling of 2020 what has been the biggest challenge that you’ve had to endure?
  • How have you been able to set boundaries for yourself in these tumultuous times?
  • What are your thoughts on building a brand and a business with a romantic partner?
  • What was the biggest lesson you learned this year?
  • What advice do you have for people that blow up and get fame extremely quickly?
  • What is the thing that is holding you back mentally from doubling your revenue next year?
  • How do you manage your business when you have so many ideas that you want to explore?
  • What’s missing in your life right now?
  • What’s the fear that you have to overcome next?
  • If you could go back before your divorce what would you tell yourself to prepare yourself for what was to come?

In this episode, you will learn:

  • The number one key for overcoming self-doubt.
  • Rachel Hollis’ take on social media.
  • Advice on how to manage pain and overcome guilt.
  • Rachel’s visualization techniques for manifesting success and abundance.
  • How to manage negative feedback when launching something you’re proud of.
  • Habits to develop in extremely stressful times.
  • Advice for people who run a business in 2020.
  • What Rachel’s vision is for her company in the future.
  • When to say yes or no to certain opportunities.
  • Plus much more…

Show Notes:

Connect with
Rachel Hollis

Transcript of this Episode

Music Credits:

Music Credit:

Kaibu by Killercats

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