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I met Peter Bregman at a dinner for authors in NYC last month.

And I got excited when I found out what his focus of work is.

Not just because he is successful leadership coach, author, CEO, and contributor to publications like Harvard Business Review and Forbes.

But because he has studied emotional intelligence and something new to me called emotional courage.

In our conversation on The School of Greatness, Peter explains some fascinating psychology relating to how our emotions play into our habits and relationships.

As you guys probably know, I’m a big fan of emotional intelligence.

So I get personal in asking Peter questions about what his research for his book 4 Seconds taught him about how to healthily manage our reactions to situations.

We also discuss some good questions you can ask yourself when you find an emotional reaction coming on and we have a friendly disagreement about goal-setting.

If you’re listening to this podcast, it’s because you want to improve yourself. Episode 140 with Peter Bregman will be a huge help in understanding how to build your emotional courage.

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The School of Greatness Podcast

Peter Bregman on The School of Greatness

“Emotional courage is the ability to feel absolutely everything and then make a smart choice about what to do next.”

Some questions I ask:

  • What do you do when you’re still mad about something a day later?
  • Is it important to express how you feel?
  • Is it possible to never feel anger or frustration?
  • How can goal setting harm your performance?
  • How do you coach someone to accept reality and change their expectations?
  • Why do you consider criticism a gift?

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

  • Every topic Peter writes about he struggles with himself
  • It takes 1 – 2 seconds for your instant emotional reaction to be subverted by your rational thinking
  • Emotional Courage – the courage to feel whatever it is you’re feeling
  • How emotional courage and freedom are connected
  • Think of anger as data – it’s you giving yourself feedback about what’s happening around you
  • When you are angry, ask yourself “What is the outcome I want in this situation?”
  • The nuts and bolts of goal setting: the why behind a goal is super important
  • Meditation teaches us the ability to resist urges
  • Steps to coach yourself through an obstacle:
    1 – Take a breath
    2 – Ask yourself “What are you feeling right now?”
    3 – Determine “What is the outcome I want in this moment?”
    4 – Decide “What is the thing I can do in this moment that is most likely going to get me to the outcome I want?”
  • A tip for getting something done (like writing) – light a candle to burn while doing the task – when it burns out, you’re done
  • Plus much more…

Continue Seeking Greatness:

4 Seconds by Peter Bregman

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Did you enjoy the podcast?

I loved being able to ask Peter questions about how to handle my own reactions to situations. Emotional courage is fascinating to me. What is your biggest challenge regarding emotional reactions?

 “Criticism is someone’s perspective of the truth about you.”

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