Do you ever feel like you’re in a dark place? Do you struggle and find that you keep comparing yourself to others?
You’re not alone, and it’s natural. Even I find myself comparing my body to other guys on Instagram and feeling like I’m not adding up – and I’m a fit, healthy guy.
The key is to shift our mindset. Don’t feel like you are competing with them. Look at them for inspiration and motivation. If they can achieve it, you can too.
There’s a secret that really helps make this shift, and it’s critical that we do it in our media flooded world.
It’s all about communication. Connect with the people you look up to, and surround yourself with healthy minded people who support you.
I know I love hearing from people and connecting with them. Most people on social media do. That’s why we’re on there – to hear and be heard.
Today it’s so much easier to communicate with people you look up to.
On this episode of School of Greatness we are joined by fitness model Emily Skye.
Emily, like a lot of us, felt out of place. She struggled and wound up in some really dark places and bad relationships. Once she let go of the pressures society was putting on her, and really started becoming the person she wanted to be, her life changed for the best.
Today she is a fitness role model with millions of followers who is inspiring people globally to love their bodies and pursue fitness for health’s sake, not image.
Hear her inspirational story, the struggles she’s been through, and how she’s out to help and motivate others on Episode 566.
Lewis Howes: This is episode number 566 with Emily Skye. Welcome to The School Of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now, let the class begin!
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson. I am so pumped, guys! It’s been an amazing journey again. My new book is out, The Mask of Masculinity. If you listen to this podcast and you haven’t picked up a copy of my book yet, then please do yourself a favour and pick it up. We’ve been going around the country, meeting with people. Over ten thousand people have got it already, who have read it, going through it, leaving reviews online, sending me messages of how it’s impacting their lives, both men and women. I think actually more women are buying this, to tap into and understand the men in their lives, their fathers, their husbands, boyfriends, their sons, brothers. But for men, it’s really helping them seek a better awareness about how they’ve been conditioned their entire lives, things that work for them and the things that don’t work for them and how to truly achieve the results they want, without feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders and in their heart. So make sure to pick it up, lewishowes.com/mask. We also have it for Audible, so you can listen to the audio book, which people were loving. I recorded it myself. Yes! I spent four and a half days recording this thing for you and it is a beautiful piece of art, if I don’t say so myself, so you can check that out and just download it over on Audible or go to lewishowes.com/man. That link will take you right there, and if you’re not on Audible yet, you can actually sign up for free for thirty days, I believe it is, and then download the book that way. So you get like your first book for free, I think, for thirty-day trial. So go to lewishowes.com/man and you can download the audio version of the book and just listen to it when you are driving or when you’re working out, and let me know what you think. I’m getting so many people message me. So let me know what you think, post it on your Instagram, and I’ll repost it. I’m reposting a lot of people over on Instagram Stories. So, lewishowes.com/mask or lewishowes.com/man.
Very excited about our guest today. We have Emily Skye, who is a health and fitness ambassador, qualified personal trainer, fitness model, fat-loss and healthy living guru. She has over eleven million people who have tuned to Emily to transform their bodies. They’ve tuned in to her, and she is the skinny, insecure, depressed girl turned fit, happy and confident. She was put on anti-depressants at age eleven, she started modelling when she was thirteen, because it was her mom’s attempt to help her gain self-confidence. Again, she’s got over eleven million people on Facebook, and over two million on Instagram, who follow her, and devour her information and her inspiration. And she has got an incredible journey. Very powerful, and she’s not just a fitness personality, she’s so much more that we dive into, and I was actually a little bit surprised on how far she went in this interview. What we talk about are whether body dysmorphia is worse because of social media, or not, and how to be responsible about what you show on your instagram or social media profiles. Also, Emily’s best tools to get through low points in life, as she has had many, which she talks about and dives in deep. How to balance huge success and stay ambitious for what is to come and not get too comfortable. Guys, this a powerful one! Make sure to take a screenshot of this right now and share it out on Istagram Story, Twitter, Facebook, lewishowes.com/566, for the full show notes, the full video interview, all the information back on there as well.
I want to give a shout out to the fan of the week! This is from Britt Ford. So, thank you so much for this. And Britt says: “Thank you Lewis for what you are doing for all of us. I listen to every single episode and cannot be a bigger fan. Being a former division 1 athlete turned creative hustler, I resonate with your message and love listening to you during my workday. You are an amazing example to both men and women, and I look forward to continuing to follow you along your journey. I recommend this podcast, not only to entrepreneurs, but to anyone who needs some more positivity in their life.” So, Britt Ford, you are the fan and the review of the week. Thank you very much for all your support and for listening with the show. And if you guys want a chance to be shouted out on the podcast, for me to call your name out, spread some love back to you, then just go to your podcast app or go to iTunes and type in “The School of Greatness Podcast” and leave a review. You can do it on your phone very easily right now. It’s a lot easier to leave reviews, and that’s all to help us get the word out to more people. Again, we get over 2 million downloads a month on this School of Greatness podcast, and it’s all because of you. Thank you guys very much.
I recommend this podcast to not only entrepreneurs, but to anyone who needs some more positivity in their life. So Britt Ford you are the fan and the review of the week. Thank you very much for all your support and for listening with the show. And if you guys want a chance to be shouted out on the podcast, for me to call your name out, spread some love back to you, then just go to your podcast app or go to iTunes and type in The School of Greatness podcast and leave a review. You can do it on your phone very easily right now, it’s a lot easier to leave reviews. And that helps us get the word out to more people. Again, we get over 2 million downloads a month on The School of Greatness podcast and it’s all because of you. Thank you guys very much. And we have one sponsor today M.V.M.T. These watches were founded on the belief that style shouldn’t break the bank. The watchmaker’s goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering high quality minimalist products at revolutionary prices. They’ve got over 1 million watches sold to customers in 160 countries around the world. And the M.V.M.T. watch has solidified itself as the world’s fastest growing watch company. The M.V.M.T. watches can complete your look whether you’re dressing up or dressing down.
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I’m super excited about this one, guys! I hope you enjoy this one with Emily. She’s got a powerful story and a powerful transformation and she inspires millions all over the world. Without further ado, let me introduce to you the one, the only Emily Skye.
Welcome back everyone, to The School of Greatness podcast. We have the legendary Emily Skye in the house. Good to see you.
Emily Skye: Thanks for having me. It’s good to be here.
Lewis Howes: Yeah, from Down Under and Los Angeles. Very excited! I guess we met, where, I forgot, but we met for a few moments, it was like a brief moment at fitness expo, it’s coming back to me now. So we met for a moment through Marc Fitt a mutual friend of ours who is a good buddy of mine, and you’ve just been taking off since then, and since before then, you’ve been taking off in terms of your career, your notoriety, you’re on the cover of every magazine in the world, you’ve got a massive audience of over 12 million, probably 20 million by the time this comes out. Every week it’s blowing up. But it wasn’t always this way, where you had all these followers and people interested in you. Isn’t that right?
Emily Skye: Yeah, that’s right. I was quite the opposite of the popular sort of person. So, growing up I was quite insecure, I had no confidence at all, I was depressed, suffered anxiety, I was just lost, I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I never fit in with anything, so when I was at school I never sort of had a good group of friends, I couldn’t… I always felt like I was the odd one out, almost like an alien. I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life and I remember sitting down in the library and we were going through this questionnaire thing to establish what we were suited to for a job. And nothing sat right, I said, “Oh, I can’t do this! I can’t sit in an office, I can’t do this… I’m different, I want to do something different that’s creative, that is really I guess embracing and making the most of what I am and then how I can turn that into something that helps other people as well. So, I didn’t know how to do it. I knew it was there, I knew I was destined for something, but I just, I knew it was going to take a process to get there, but also, figure out who I am first before I could do that.
Lewis Howes: I feel very similar to that. Did you feel like… Were you good in school? Or did you struggle in school as well?
Emily Skye: No, I struggled in school. But it’s probably because I didn’t go to school much. Yeah, I hated school and I avoided it. I had, like, ninety days off a year.
Lewis Howes: Ninety days off?
Emily Skye: I just, yeah, I just didn’t go. I hated it.
Lewis Howes: Was this in, like, elementary, middle or high school?
Emily Skye: The whole thing. I just, as I said before, I didn’t fit in with a group of people that I felt like I belonged with. So, I didn’t like restriction. I didn’t like being told I had to do this, and I had to study these subjects that I had no interest in, and I knew I wasn’t going to use it in the future, so what was the point? Waste of time.
Lewis Howes: I really don’t remember very many things I learned from school.
Emily Skye: Me either.
Lewis Howes: A couple of classes in college, that was on sports marketing, were something I was interested in. I was like, “Okay, I remember a few moments,” but everything else, I felt the same way. I just struggled and it was hard to comprehend things, and I didn’t want to study.
Emily Skye: You’re just not interested.
Lewis Howes: Yeah. It’s tough. So you didn’t have friends, that many friends at school. You felt like you were an outsider. Why is that? I thought in Australia everyone was nice.
Emily Skye: Well, I mean, I’m nice, I think. Yeah, I don’t know why exactly. Maybe I didn’t conform. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t cool. I wasn’t there much, so it’s hard to bond with people when you’re not actually there. And I was very shy as well, so, as I said before, I didn’t have much confidence, so I was so insecure, and even just talking to someone, and I mean even just doing this: if I thought I would do this one day, I would lose, I mean, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. The thought of it would make me sick, because I was just so shy, I couldn’t talk to anyone, I couldn’t stand up in front of the class, I’d fall over. It was just… I have an idea of where it came from. I think, when my dad left when I was two and a half, it sort of created this insecurity of not being good enough and that people will always leave me and I’m not lovable and all those negative things, so it probably stemmed from that. But I’ve gotten over it, and I’ve used it for good, I guess.
Lewis Howes: Yeah, yeah, it’s good. What were you doing when you weren’t in school then?
Emily Skye: When I wasn’t?
Lewis Howes: Yeah, when you were just taking these days off, what? were you at home by yourself? Were you…
Emily Skye: Yeah. At home. I’d watch TV, I’d do things that I enjoy, because I loved everything that’s creative, so taking photo’s, drawing, painting, writing, just all those sorts of things that I had the freedom to do what I wanted to do.
Lewis Howes: So when you were doing this career, job thing, these questionnaires, and your realised there’s nothing you want to… or nothing you fit into, what was the vision you had for yourself? Did you see yourself doing what you’re doing now, in kind of, health and wellness and fitness and inspiring people?
Emily Skye: Not this at all, because I was always athletic. That was the only thing I was good at at school, really. Athletics, taking photo’s, but I’d be good at that, like, pic taking of the footy team and stuff like that.
Lewis Howes: Footy, meaning soccer?
Emily Skye: Football, so it’s, I don’t know, the ball’s shaped like this, not round. It’s different here, isn’t it?
Lewis Howes: Rugby, yeah!
Emily Skye: Yeah, so the boys would pick me for their team, that was the only time that they were interested.
Lewis Howes: Was that because you were good, or why did they pick you?
Emily Skye: Because I was good, yeah. I was a fast runner, so…
Lewis Howes: Really? Alright, cool. So that’s what you were doing in your off time, and you imagined yourself doing what when you were growing up then?
Emily Skye: I really had no idea what I was going to do. I thought maybe I’d do something with sports, maybe I’d go into athletics or sprinting or something. I was talking to the Australian institute of sport back in… I would have been probably twelve or something, about joining a team that would help me, probably train me for possibly the Olympics down the track. But because I didn’t have any self-belief, I didn’t think I’d be good enough for that either, so I was ruining everything, sabotaging myself before I even had a chance. But I never saw anything like this. We had no social media back then. I didn’t even have a computer until I was late teens, and then phones came out when I was, what, fifteen or sixteen, something like that. No social media, I wasn’t really into inspiring people or anything like that. Nothing that I’m doing now, because how do I inspire someone when I don’t even like myself or the way I was living? I knew that I’d do something good, and I wanted to do something that would help other people, I didn’t know what it was going to be, but I knew that I would have some sort of following… I don’t want to say, fame, but some sort of people looking to me for something, which I thought was ironic, because I was so insecure, and so shy.
Lewis Howes: But you knew that’s something you wanted.
Emily Skye: I knew it. I knew, yeah. And it was weird because here I’ve got the ultimate of what I want to be and what I want to do, wasn’t sure what it was at that stage, and I’m down here and I thought, “How can I be that, though? I’m supposed to be there, but I’m here now!” And it was just, it was a weird feeling. And then I knew that I had to start working on myself and then I did reach a point when I did, it was probably early to mid-twenties, so that’s, I guess, fairly late and I started working towards making myself the best I could be, by getting healthy and fit and being more positive and having some self-beliefs and adding myself around more positive people, and realising what actually made me happy in life, which was fitness, obviously, and health, and helping people. So that’s when I started doing what I’m doing now, and sort of, building that.
Lewis Howes: Wow. So how did you get out of this place of sort of being insecure, or self-doubting yourself? In your twenties, what were the things you were doing? Were you reading books, were you connecting with inspiring people? Like, what allowed you to see that trigger and actually move into it.
Emily Skye: Yeah, it wasn’t overnight. It was, like, I guess there was a moment when I thought I’m not happy with myself, I’m not happy with my life, I don’t see myself going anywhere. I felt crap. I just didn’t feel good at all. And I knew that I had to start making those changes. That no-one was going to come along and pick me up and do it for me. Because that’s sort of what I thought would happen, someone would come and help me. No-one’s coming to save you.
Lewis Howes: No-one rescued you?
Emily Skye: No. In a way, yes, because I’ve got my boyfriend of eight years, who I’m having a baby with. He came along and he had a lot to do with it, but I had to take that first step and start making those changes. So, it was, removing the negative people that were bringing me down in my life, because I was doing modelling before, so… It sounds very odd, because I was so insecure, I had no self-belief, and yet I was doing modelling, because I saw that as a way of maybe getting some sort of love or praise from other people so I could feel like I fit in. So, I was doing that, and that obviously wasn’t working, because it just made me more and more unhappy.
Lewis Howes: More insecure. More of that comparing yourself to every other model.
Emily Skye: Yeah, it was very competitive and very unhealthy, for me. I’m not saying for everyone, I mean, some people love it, but for me it just wasn’t good.
Lewis Howes: And when you were modelling, were you working out every day? Or was it, like, starving yourself and trying to fit in?
Emily Skye: No. I didn’t know I was starving myself, but now I look back and I know I definitely wasn’t eating enough and I was doing long cardio sessions, just trying to get as skinny as I could be. And then I realised that wasn’t healthy, so…
Lewis Howes: Yeah. So how long were you modelling for?
Emily Skye: Oh, ten or twelve years. But towards the end of that, that’s when I transitioned into fitness. I started getting healthier and fitter. I started building muscle. I wanted to have muscle and be strong, and I was really passionate about that.
Lewis Howes: Why did you want muscle?
Emily Skye: I guess I saw women that had muscle, and back then it wasn’t like it is now, on Instagram every second person’s a fitness model, or so they say. There’s only a few people, like, some people doing fitness competitions and the women were quite muscular, but they weren’t really someone that the everyday person could look to and think, “I want to be like that!” It was almost too much. But I liked it, I appreciated it. I love muscle on a woman, I think it’s empowering. So, I saw the empowering side of it. I saw magazines with these fit women on it, with muscle, and I thought, “Ah, I want to be like that!” And whether they were happy or not, it didn’t matter, that’s okay, it did the job for me. So I used that to motivate me and help me make changes. So, I went out and started lifting weights, learned as much as I could about it, and then I started doing fitness modelling, so I was doing infomercials and it was hard, because I was skinny before and doing like the normal sort of modelling traditional modeling.
Lewis Howes: Fashion.
Emily Skye: Yeah. And then I started getting muscle and they were saying to me, my agency and the different companies that I was working with that I was too muscly now is too much. Even though I wasn’t, I was a lot smaller than I am now. I was still tiny but it was too much and they didn’t like it. So, they started Photoshopping my photos and getting my abs out, bringing in, like, the shoulders that I’d built. So, I thought this is really… I didn’t like that, that they were changing me. Finally I was happy with myself and I felt amazing. And yet they were trying to change me and bring me back to what I was before. So then I thought, “I’m going to have to say goodbye to this. I can’t do modelling because I can’t be… not that it was making me happy anyway. But I don’t want to be that, that’s not who I am anymore. I loved fitness and I wanted to make fitness cool and that everyone wanted… I wanted everyone to have what I had in their own way and that’s when I went out and told all my friends and family, “You need to start exercising and eating healthy food it’s amazing!” I felt incredible. And then I thought how can I do this on a bigger scale. And that’s when Instagram, Facebook and all the different social media platforms came out.
Lewis Howes: When was this, that you started kind of putting this information out online?
Emily Skye: Well I started on a… It was called Blogspot. So I was blogging what I was doing.
Lewis Howes: When was that.
Emily Skye: Oh probably about seven and a half years ago.
Lewis Howes: 2010, 2009?
Emily Skye: About that, yeah. Yeah, it was around the time I met my partner, Declan, so that’s when I started getting really, really fit and healthy and then started blogging it and realized that’s what I wanted to do with my life.
Lewis Howes: Yeah, you just kind of documented your process, your transformation.
Emily Skye: Yeah. So, I was doing competitions back then, so, up on stage flexing and all the rest of it. That’s a whole other story as well. I find it too intense for me. I still enjoyed it. I learnt a lot from it. So I was documenting the competition how I went about it, the diet and training that I was doing and then how I came out of it, because I actually after the first competition I did because I was so restrictive I put on a lot of weight, within like a week and a half after. So I realized how unhealthy it was. So I documented that as well, then Facebook and Instagram. I think it was on Facebook first, Instagram was a little bit late getting on but I started using those platforms as well to build it up and really went hard trying to build the audience and to reach as many people as I could to spread a positive message and spread information.
Lewis Howes: When did you realise that it started to kind of take off, like, the things you were doing, that people were thinging onto it, and getting excited about it and getting results? That it was altering their life?
Emily Skye: It was years ago. So, before I started my actual program that I’ve got, it’s a diet and training program, I noticed that people really liked the fitness content that I was putting up, which went into more content around mind health, mental health.
Lewis Howes: They liked that the most.
Emily Skye: Yeah. I’m actually more into the mind side of things. It all starts with with your mind. It became quite popular and it really had a taking off online I think a lot of people sort of jumped on and were doing the whole fitness thing and it went crazy. But I feel like I got in at a good time because it was before it was popular and it was cool to do. People loved what I was doing and the content I was putting out there. So it grew from there and I realized that they really did like the work out videos that I was doing. I was putting one up every day, of a free workout, and no one else… I’d never seen anyone do it before: a video with instructions on it.
Lewis Howes: Really? On Facebook or Instagram
Emily Skye: Yes. Facebook and Instagram, and it was short, I had to speed it up because I was like 15 seconds you had on Instagram. Yeah. And so people started tagging people on Instagram and sharing it on Facebook and it took off. I think in a week I built a million followers on Facebook just from videos going viral.
Lewis Howes: In a week? Don’t you wish it was still that easy? To grow that fast?
Emily Skye: I think about it all the time.
Lewis Howes: If I only would have done more with that, you know what I mean?
Emily Skye: Exactly. Make the most of it.
Lewis Howes: Instagram has taken over our lives hasn’t it.
Emily Skye: In a way, yeah.
Lewis Howes: It’s crazy right. Talk to me about… do you think that people have a more struggle now with body dysmorphia because of Instagram, Facebook or whatever? Or, you know, is it easier now because there’s more tools available for us to overcome as opposed to maybe when you were 13 and there wasn’t as much access to this information?
Emily Skye: I think it is definitely a bit of both. I think there were always issues. It’s just we weren’t aware of the issues, and now people have a voice, they’re able to be heard now. So I think on one hand we’ve got Instagram with everyone on there who’s like living the perfect life, putting the perfect photos on there, portraying that and giving people the idea of, they can have that too. And then people never feeling good enough. So, like, in particular, young girls looking at this content thinking, “That’s life goals! I want to be like that! I want a body like that!” or a family like that, or clothes like that, whatever it is.
Lewis Howes: Relationship like that.
Emily Skye: Yeah. Relationship goals, that’s another one I’ve talked about before. But they compare themselves and they always feel like they are not good enough. And I struggled with not being good enough for many years but I didn’t have Instagram and Facebook back then, but it was in magazines and on movies and people at school that you compare yourself to. So I guess it’s similar, but obviously there’s so much more now on Instagram. But I just hope that people realize they can reach out and talk to people and if people do just, I guess, talk more, talk to each other than they can realize they can help people. But I think that if we use Instagram for good like what I’m trying to do by educating people and being real with people that you’ve got, like, it’s sort of balanced. So you’ve got the unhealthy people out there and then people like me, hopefully ,that come along and can help people who maybe they didn’t have that before. If there was no Instagram they wouldn’t have been… they wouldn’t have had that chance.
Lewis Howes: Yeah. What do you think we can do, with Instagram and Facebook to regain a healthy sense of our bodies again? You know, without having to compare to these things, what can we do? Since we’re scrolling all day and looking at this.
Emily Skye: You’ve got to be responsible for what you’re consuming, I think. Its hard to do because young kids aren’t… they like looking at this sort of stuff. They like seeing the perfect… They love that idea. It’s almost like a romantic movie. It’s romanticising it. I think if people can take more responsibility and if something’s making them feel bad, if a particular person’s making them feel bad about themselves, and maybe question themselves, why are they, and do I need to have them on there, can I get rid of them? But that’s hard, I mean, you can only say to people, “Be responsible, don’t do this,” but they’re still going to do it because it’s an addiction, isn’t it? People love it.
Lewis Howes: What about you, in terms of, you know, you’ve got this massive audience, you’ve got all these people that look up to you. They’re inspired by your mindset, by your body, your look, your muscles, whatever it is. Do you ever go through times of still being insecure? Or comparing yourself? Even though you have this, everyone wants to be you, but you’re like, “Well, I’m still not good enough.”
Emily Skye: Yeah, well I don’t think anyone feels one hundred percent confident all the time, in themselves. I think people always have times where they, you know, have a bad day or they don’t feel like they are as good as they can be and I have those times. It’s nowhere near what it used to be, but I think now I have the tools to be able to get through it. And I know how to. And I’m aware of what I’m feeling down. Why am I feeling this way? What’s contributing to that? What can I remove to help myself move on and get past this? So being really, I guess, self-aware.
Lewis Howes: Why do you think you get insecure at times? What are the reasons?
Emily Skye: I don’t know whether it’s because I used to be a very insecure person so I’m always fighting it. It’s always sort of coming back. I think that that’s a huge thing in getting on top of that and knowing that that’s the type of person that I used to be as well, not going back to that. But there’s a lot, like, social media is insane, it’s competitive. There’s a lot of people out there posting things that could… I could look at and then go, “Oh, I’m not this or I’m not that.” For instance, I’m pregnant at the moment, obviously, and I have gained fat and cellulite.
Lewis Howes: Are you?
Emily Skye: Yeah, that’s what this lump is. But I’ve gained fat and cellulite and changed and I’ve lost a lot of muscle.
Lewis Howes: Stretch marks, and whatever.
Emily Skye: Yeah. All these things are happening which I am 100 percent embracing. I’m happy with. But I could look at these other people who are online, and who are fit and pregnant and they look amazing. And they were on their own journey. That’s the thing everyone’s on their own journey and shouldn’t compare. But I could look at them and think, “Well how come this person’s got abs and she’s a few months ahead of me and yet her abs are there. She’s tiny and I’ve got all the cellulite and stuff going on.” I could look at that and that could affect me. But I don’t. I think I’m at a really good place now where I’m so happy and my baby’s obviously most important to me. So I don’t let those insignificant things affect me.
Lewis Howes: You know that’s good. What are some of the tools that you use when you’re looking to overcome that, you know, insecurity or fear or comparison. I think this will be helpful for a lot of people who are constantly comparing, to see someone like you with a massive audience, great body, great image, great everything, on how you do that.
Emily Skye: I think you’ve got to work out what makes you happy in life and what’s most important to you. Is it really trying to be perfect and worrying about what everyone else thinks of you, especially on social media if you put up a photo and people say, “Oh, you look great here,” does that really make you happy temporarily. Yeah, you feel good, your ego’s getting fed. But long term, I don’t think it really does. And I think you need to get to a point where you do know what makes you happy and you are aware of that, and you don’t rely on that to keep feeding that happiness. But when I feel down, and I’ve talked about this before with my followers, but when I get in my sort of down moments and I haven’t had one for a while, which is a good thing. Last year I had a bit of a time, I think I’d been travelling a lot, I just got really run down and everything just went to shit pretty much.
Lewis Howes: It’s hard to keep your body healthy…
Emily Skye: Yeah, and then your mind goes. I was feeling crappy I wasn’t training which is a big thing, getting moving is incredible, it does incredible things for you, and the endorphins that you get from it really, it’s a real thing. Yeah. I hadn’t been doing it for a while and I just I didn’t want to I wasn’t motivated and I thought, how can I get myself back there? I know that that’s what changed my life, and yet here I am stuck feeling shitty again. How can I get myself back there I know that. That’s what changed my life. And yet here I am stuck feeling shitty again. I thought OK well I don’t want to go to the gym because I’m not motivated to do that. How can I get myself there? So I put music on and danced around the house, and I started learning hip hop. I was putting tutorials on the big screen on YouTube and dancing around the lounge room like an idiot. I was no good at it, but it’s not the point. I felt good. I felt happy and the music lifted my mood and I started getting outdoors outside in the sun and fresh air and just finding that balance again and, I guess, grounding myself in a way, so I could start to feel like, “OK what is it what is it that makes me happy again? What is it that gives me life, that makes you jump out of bed every day?’ So I got back there and then, like, I’m back on track again. So you got to find what it is that does it for you. Maybe it’s reading a book. Maybe it’s walking, I don’t know, ice skating, rock climbing, whatever, do something that makes you feel good again. But you’ve got to find your creative and my creative, for me, is training and getting out doors and talking to people and helping people.
Lewis Howes: Yeah, it’s probably not sticking on your phone, looking at Instagram all day.
Emily Skye: No. That can be quite poisonous. And you’ve got to set boundaries for yourself and restrictions.
Lewis Howes: When your following and your account is your business and your brand, and if something isn’t working, or isn’t getting the results you want, how do you deal with that inner voice, when, “Okay, I put a post up here and normally I get a certain amount of results, whether attraction, compliments, whatever, sales, and I didn’t get that.” How do you handle that inner critic?
Emily Skye: It’s hard, because it is me. I’m the brand. It’s not someone else. It’s hard not to take it personally, and I think you invest so much. I invest a lot into my business and what I do and I love it, but I do take things personally because it is me, and I know it’s a hard thing to do, so I’ve got to sort of sit back and go, “Okay, well, there’s a lot of things coming into play here, with algorithms and things. What could be the reason? Is it really my content that people aren’t liking or is it because they’re not actually seeing it, because Instagram’s done an update and people who follow me aren’t actually seeing the post. So you’ve got to step back and see what’s going on here. So, it is hard. It’s hard to sort of monitor what’s working and what’s not and whether it is you or not, but you can test and there’s a lot of things you can do to work out what actually works and what people want to see and what your following really likes, but yeah, you’ve really got to think about maybe it’s just the algorithm.
Lewis Howes: And how do you stay grounded if something’s taking off and doing really well? You’re on the cover of every magazine, you’re getting brand deals, you’re getting all this stuff, it is all working for you, how do you stay grounded, and also stay happy with it being enough? Sometimes we get these big bucks and we think, “Oh, it could be boring, it could be just not enough?” So how do you stay grounded in those times?
Emily Skye: Yeah, I think, because it’s taken a long time to get where I am and you could say that I started working on it when I was a teenager, because that’s when I started, with modelling. And I use a lot of the things i learned with modelling now. So I do a lot of things myself. I take my own photo’s, I use a tripod with a timer. I edit my own videos, I write my own content, I reply to people online. I do a lot of stuff myself which I learned when I was doing modelling, so I think, in life, there’s a lot of things that you can use right now, I mean, down the track, when you find what it is you want to do. Because I’ve gone through that and I’ve worked really hard. It hasn’t happened overnight, I wasn’t just handed it, I have a lot of appreciation for what I’ve got. One thing I do struggle with is really, really appreciating and being grateful for what it is that I’ve got right now. And a big enough because I always want to be, I want to be the best. I want to reach more people, do so much stuff and I sometimes get frustrated because I know that I’m not quite where I want to be yet. And it’s a really hard balance to really appreciate and look back on what you’ve done, and go, “Yeah, I’ve killed this. I’m doing well.” and still go, “Oh, there’s still more I want to do.” It’s quite hard and it’s something I do struggle with a lot and when I do, say, get a magazine cover, I’ve got to really make an effort to go, “I achieved this because I deserve it.” It’s difficult. And I think I get a bit mixed up with… I don’t want to lose who I am through the whole thing, and I don’t want people to think… and it’s funny, because I always say don’t worry about what people think, but I do. I care what people think, because I’m doing this for a reason, I want to help people, so I have to care what they think, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this. I want to always stay, I guess, relatable to people and never seem like I’m full of myself, which I’m not, and I’m far from it, actually. So, yeah, it’s finding that balance between being proud of yourself, looking at what you’ve achieved, where you’ve come from, and then still being able to say, yeah, but I’ve still got room to grow and more to do, and more goals to do.
Lewis Howes: Who’s been the most influential person in your life growing up?
Emily Skye: Growing up? When I was younger I didn’t really have anyone that I sort of looked up to, as I’ve… I don’t know if I’m still growing up now? In my thirties? There’s a few people. One’s Brene Brown, who a researcher, social researcher.
Lewis Howes: We just interviewed her a couple of weeks ago
Emily Skye: Oh, she’s incredible. So, she’s been a big part of getting me through tough times. Incredible woman. So I look to her, and also Dwayne Johnson, who I met last year, I think it was. He’s been a bit of a mentor for me, because obviously he’s absolutely killing it at everything.
Lewis Howes: Has he been guiding you in your career? Helping with stuff?
Emily Skye: Yes. If I’ve ever got something I’m struggling with, or whenever I don’t know how to deal with something, he’s a great person to ask his opinion on.
Lewis Howes: What about your parents? You said your dad left when you were very young?
Emily Skye: Yes, two-and-a-half.
Lewis Howes: Do you have a relationship with him? Is in the picture?
Emily Skye: How long have you got? No, I don’t have a relationship with him. I met him a few years ago for the first time, since I was, I think six, was the last time I saw him. He was sort of in and out of my sister and my life for years and then… it was unhealthy for us for him to come in every six months and see us, and I had a struggle with that. Though he decided not to have anything to do with us. He went and did whatever he did with his life. Not much. And then, I kept in contact with my grandparents, which is his parents, they always said, “When are you going to meet your father?” I never, to be honest, I never wanted to, because I was hurt by him leaving and it was really hard for me to get over, which I did get over, why bring that up? You know, he’s had no interest in me all these years, so. But I met him, because I felt like I had to. My sister and I went and met him a few years ago and then…
Lewis Howes: Does he live in Australia, or where?
Emily Skye: He’s in New Zealand now. He had opportunities to keep the relationship going or build a relationship and he didn’t do it, so, what do you do, hey? I don’t think he deserves it, to be honest.
Lewis Howes: Did you guys go to New Zealand and see him?
Emily Skye: Yeah. Yes, I’ve seen him, I think I went on my own this trip, but we met him in Australia in Sydney, and then I went over to see my grandparents over there and saw him there as well, years ago.
Lewis Howes: What opened up for you during that time?
Emily Skye: Nothing, nope. I remember, I met him and thought, “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. I like him and we have a few things in common, I can see I get these traits from him,” but I don’t see him as a father at all
Lewis Howes: What’s the biggest lesson you learned from him? Even being absent the whole time?
Emily Skye: What not to be. Because there’s some things I see, some things that he is or was, and he’s a musician, so he didn’t actually want a family any more. So he had married my mum, had me and my sister, and then realised that’s not what he wants. He actually came home when my sister was born, my mum brought her home, and he said, “I’m leaving. It’s not what I want.” And she said, “I’ve just had your child, your second child, what are you doing?” And he said, “No, I want to be a musician. I want to travel and be a famous…” whatever. And so, he made that choice, and he didn’t succeed at it. Yeah. What was the question again?
Lewis Howes: Biggest lesson you’ve learned…
Emily Skye: Biggest lesson! Not to be like that, so family comes first. It’s most important. I’m about to have my first baby, and I almost gave away the sex then, but my baby will be number one. Don’t you try and get it out of me. Yeah, but everything else is secondary to me. It’s great to have career goals, or whatever, but it’s the people in your life that are most important and you’ve really got to invest the most time and energy into that, I think.
Lewis Howes: How was developing a relationship… Your partner and you are not married, is that correct?
Emily Skye: No, we need to get him to put a ring on it, I think.
Lewis Howes: You want a ring on it, but he’s not ready yet.
Emily Skye: No, he does. It’s just, we haven’t had time. I know, it’s an excuse, isn’t it?
Lewis Howes: I get it. It’s all good.
Emily Skye: I’m having his baby now, alright? It’s time for a ring.
Lewis Howes: How is having a family, supporting your dream and your vision, or not supporting it? Do you feel like it’s going to help your vision or do you feel like it’s shifting visions to family now?
Emily Skye: I think it’s, something I’ve learned over the years is, you’ve got to adapt to things and when you can’t adapt well, that’s when, I think, you fail or you suffer, and it’s hard for humans to adapt. I think we get comfortable. But I will adapt to this, and I think that having a baby will make me probably more relatable to people and…
Lewis Howes: Attract a lot of moms and…
Emily Skye: There’s a new market there. Because I do have a big following of mums already. So, then they’re like, “Yes, finally, now you’re like me,” sort of thing. So I think it’ll be good. And also to show how I become a mum and go through that, and also getting back in shape. My priority won’t be to get back in shape, it’s going to be my baby, but of course I love health and fitness and I want to be healthy and fit, for my child and for me, and my family. So, I will get back there, but it’s not, like, I’m not going to put pressure.
Lewis Howes: You’re not trying to get on a cover of a magazine right away, and, yeah, have a six-pack.
Emily Skye: Yeah, no. That’s it. It’s not about that, It’s about how I feel and doing the best for my family.
Lewis Howes: That’s cool. What about biggest lesson from your mom? What is the biggest thing she taught you?
Emily Skye: She taught a lot of values and how to treat people. There’s a few things, and I don’t want to talk about too much negative stuff, because I love my mum to bits, but she’s taught me some things… She’s a bit of a doormat, if she’ll forgive me saying that? Because she, she’s a doormat, she a people pleaser, always wants to make sure everyone else is happy before her, never worries about herself. Often I used to be a lot like that, but I work not to be. Not to say that I don’t care about other people and I don’t put other people first, but I don’t think you can really, truly help other people unless you help yourself first, and not if you’ve got to be a doormat, and you’re unhappy and you’re suffering. I really don’t think that benefits anyone. So, it’s probably one of the biggest lessons. But she treats everyone very well, and that’s something I’ve learned as well. That’s a positive. She’s an amazing woman raising my sister and me all those years on her own.
Lewis Howes: So what is the dream for you, then? After the baby comes?
Emily Skye: I’m living my dream!
Lewis Howes: You’ve got this massive brand and business, you’ve helped tens of thousands of people through your programmes, your products.
Emily Skye: It’s hard to just say what my…
Lewis Howes: Do you have a clear vision or dream?
Emily Skye: I’ve had clear visions along the way and those things I have sort of envisioned have manifested into something, and it’s actually come true, and it’s crazy, and I look back and I go, “But I actually envisioned this and now I’ve got it! I think I’ve heard you talk about this before. It’s real, and I’ve done that over the years and I’m very happy with what I have achieved. I always talk about it, I sometimes can’t really understand and appreciate, I don’t believe that I deserve it, but I have achieved a lot, and there’s so much more I still do want to achieve, but it really goes back to how can I reach more people and have a positive impact on them, so growing my business, growing Fit Family that I’ve built to be bigger.
Lewis Howes: Why do you want to reach so many people?
Emily Skye: Because I was never happy before I found what makes me happy, which is health and fitness. But really, what came first, I really love helping people. I love seeing how much they can change, going from being unhappy to finding what makes them happy, and it’s different for everyone, obviously, but, for instance, to give you an example, I had a girl at, I think it was at the fitness expo that we were at that we can’t remember, but anyway.
Lewis Howes: You thought it was Ohio…
Emily Skye: There were a lot of people. So a girl came up, it was actually her boyfriend who came up to me and said, “My girlfriend’s here and she really wants to meet you, but she’s shy and she’s suffering and she’s got depression, really bad, and she’s not wanting to live anymore.” And I just thought, “Ah, this is outside of what I do, but I can’t turn her away, she’s… I need to meet her and sit with her.” I found her and she was sitting on the ground, crying and just freaking out, because she wanted to meet me, but she was scared to, so I sat down with her and I told her some of my story and what I’ve been through. With hating myself and my life and not knowing what to do with it, and blah, blah, blah. And she sort of opened up and she was then in happy tears and she thanked me for it and she messaging me after, saying that I made a huge impact on her and she was able to make changes. And that just, that’s one of the main reasons why I do this. Because it’s not all the… yeah, it’s great to have followers and all those sort of stuff that might be attached to ego, but this is really what matters, reaching people in some way. And I think, if we are vulnerable and authentic then it makes it easier to be able to reach them because they realise, hey, I’m not alone, or here’s this person over here that’s going through it, or has gone through it. Other people might look at someone like me and say, “Oh, you know, she has everything and has the perfect life,” or whatever, but even though I put out a lot of content to support that, it’s good to sort of show that I have achieved all this and I am happy, and I have achieved so much within myself, my career’s been a great achievement, but what I’ve achieved personally far outweighs that. I love that young girls like that can actually see me and go, “Ah, there’s hope for me. I can do this.”
Lewis Howes: Did you ever have a dark place where you felt like you didn’t want to be here anymore?
Emily Skye: Yes. When I was a teenager. I was probably about, maybe eighteen, and I had not a nice boyfriend, I had a few pretty terrible relationships. One of those I did get an A.V.O. out on, a restraining order, on a guy who was very abusive and tried to stab me with a knife. He smashed plates over my head and tried to throw me off a balcony. But he’s not the guy that actually I, I had one before him that did these things.
Lewis Howes: He broke a plate over your head?
Emily Skye: Yeah, he used to get them out the cupboard and smash them at me. Horrible.
Lewis Howes: Did you live with him? Or was that just… were you living at home still? Or how did that work?
Emily Skye: Yes, back in my darkest spot, I’ll sort of change topic here, but when I was in my darkest spot, at eighteen, I was with this boyfriend that was no good, you know, I’ll sort of keep it at that, and I didn’t want to live anymore, so I actually got tablets and I took a heap of tablets trying to end it and then something happened and then I said, “Oh, no, this isn’t what I want. I remember feeling like I was sinking through the bed and it was all over, and I was like, “No! I want to live!” and I made that choice, and it took years to sort of work out what actually can make me happy and everything else, but I did make the choice to say, I choose life. Anyway, so, years later I meet this other guy, horrible boyfriend.
Lewis Howes: That was when you were with another boyfriend. Were you living with him, or were you still at home.
Emily Skye: Not when I was eighteen, then I was still living at home.
Lewis Howes: And before you go on to the next horrible boyfriend, you, like took these pills. Did you go to the hospital and pump them out, did you throw up or what?
Emily Skye: I threw up, yeah. It was very blurry. I sort of crawled out and I think I went to the laundry so I didn’t wake my mum, I vomited and, yeah, it’s pretty crazy to think that I was that person.
Lewis Howes: And so, the next horrible relationship?
Emily Skye: Then I was living with him and he was the one that was very physically abusive.
Lewis Howes: Smashing plates on your head, and..
Emily Skye: Yeah, and strangling me. He would strangle me at my neck and I remember looking into his eyes and they were just evil eyes. It was just horrible.
Lewis Howes: And he tried to stab you with a knife?
Emily Skye: Yeah, he tried to stab me, chased me around, I got out, I was living in an apartment. I got out the front door and ran down the corridor, and he chased me, trying to stab me with a knife. And I got to this life, because there was a main lift and then there was another one around the corner, that was, like, a slow lift, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to the first one in time, because he’d get me, so I sprinted around to the other one, got there, opened the doors, doors open, I can hear him coming! It was like a movie.
Lewis Howes: And the doors shut, like, right when he was coming in there?
Emily Skye: Yeah. Boom! Hand goes through, stops.
Lewis Howes: His hand stopped it?
Emily Skye: Yeah.
Lewis Howes: Then what?
Emily Skye: He drags me out by my hair, and he’s pulling me along, and then the security saw it on the footage. They yelled out something, I don’t remember much, it’s all sort of blurry, but they stopped him, because I thought it’s all over, like, I’m gone.
Lewis Howes: Because you were screaming, I’m assuming.
Emily Skye: Yeah, I think I was. I had to plan my escape, because, I moved away. I was actually in Queensland at that stage, and I had family in Sydney, so it’s actually a plane trip, it’s, like, an hour on the plane, so…
Lewis Howes: So the security came and broke it up?
Emily Skye: Yeah, exactly, and the police came and he did the whole, “I want to change, and I can only do it if you’re here with me to support me, and I love you, and I’ll change for you,” and do all the crying and the… it’s like the beaten housewife syndrome, where you just keep going back. And because I wanted him to get better and help him, I kept going back and…
Lewis Howes: So, is this the point where you said enough is enough and didn’t go back?
Emily Skye: I knew that I couldn’t go back, but I was stuck up there. So I had to plan how I was going to escape.
Lewis Howes: So you stayed for a while?
Emily Skye: So I said to him, because what he would do, he’d manipulate me and say, “If you leave I’ll hurt your family.” Like, “I’ll kill your family,” sort of thing. He was a nutter. Absolute nutter. So, planned, I said that I wanted to move back so that I could be close to where my family was, so we moved back and waited until he went out one night, because he’d go out and cheat on me all the time. Horrible. Got a friend to help me with all my stuff and I took as much as I could and escaped and then he turned up at my mum’s house, tried to drive his car through the garage. Crazy! But he was yelling out, “I’m going to drive the car through the garage and he’s revving it and trying to drive it through to break in, so, he could get to me. And he’s pacing round the house and knocking and banging on the windows and doors.
Lewis Howes: My gosh! We have very similar experiences with ex’s.
Emily Skye: Really? Did you have a nutter too?
Lewis Howes: A few interesting ones, yes. One, they were at my house with a knife, threatening to do things, yes.
Emily Skye: I wonder what it is that attracts these people?
Lewis Howes: They’re just crazy, I guess, I don’t know.
Emily Skye: I think you learn from it, though, don’t you? I learned a lot from those experiences and I’ve been able to help other people with similar things.
Lewis Howes: So you got out, you left, moved.
Emily Skye: Yeah, it took a year to get the rest of my stuff back. He had my passport. He wouldn’t give it back. But it was a small sacrifice to make.
Lewis Howes: Was the next guy just as bad or did you start to finally…
Emily Skye: No. The next guy was quite good, actually. We’re still friends today. We had a great relationship, it just wasn’t, like, in love, sort of thing. And then I met Declan when I was 24, so, I’m 32 now, think about that. Yeah, and then he… he’s my best friend, he’s my business partner, he’s everything, he’s amazing. He helped me through a lot of the stuff and showed me how a man should really treat someone, or a partner should treat their love. The good people do exist out there, you just got to go through the bad ones sometimes. That got quite intense, didn’t it?
Lewis Howes: It was amazing, yeah! I want to transition into healthy body image in men, because we’ve talked about this in women, but I feel like there’s a lot of challenges with men as well, with the distraction, comparison, you know, I see shredded, ripped, strong dudes on Instagram all the time. I’m not saying that I’m comparing or that I’m not happy with my body, but there’s still a lot of this happening. How can men just have a bit more healthy relationship with their body image? For themselves, and how can they support other men in the process as well?
Emily Skye: I think it’s hard, because women are a little bit more vocal about it, I think, perhaps. Or they tend to gravitate towards each other, and create these groups, or communities.
Lewis Howes: There’s not support groups of men.
Emily Skye: I think men feel like it’s not a masculine thing, they isolate themselves and they don’t know that they can reach out, it makes them look like they’re weak and they have this fear. Oh, and I’m just not talking from experience, because I’m not a man, obviously, but I think they have a fear of being demasculinated, a weakness, so it’s the opposite, I think, if you reach out and you’re actually talking about these issues you have and you’re talking to each other, then I think that that’s a sign of strength and that it’s a good thing. I really do think, talk about it more, and talk to your mate and find someone who is a good genuine friend and talk to them. My boyfriend actually does this a lot with people. He’s got a lot of friends who are asking for help, and he’s become almost a bit like a counsellor, because he loves being able to help people like that, but, yeah, I think a lot of men don’t, they just keep it all to themselves and think they’ve got to stay strong.
Lewis Howes: Yeah, talking more, I think, helps with everything. Talking in general.
Emily Skye: People need people. We got to talk to each other more.
Lewis Howes: So true. What’s the thing that you’re most proud of that you’ve done, that maybe people do know or don’t know about you?
Emily Skye: I think the most proud is my personal journey and how I’ve come to a place where I do actually accept myself and I’m not chasing this idea of trying to fit in with people. I think it’s more about having a sense of belonging. I only have a few select people around me that love me and realising what’s real and what’s not, or who’s real and who’s not. But definitely, being able to say I love myself. That’s a huge thing for me, because I hated, I despised myself before. But I actually love myself now and I make, I invest a lot into myself because I think I am worth it now, and I think that’s something that everyone needs to find and hopefully everyone does find. That’s definitely my biggest achievement that outweighs anything else, career wise, or anything.
Lewis Howes: That’s great! It’s a great achievement, yeah. If we’re not happy with ourselves, the rest doesn’t matter. What’s a question that you wish more people would ask you that they don’t ask you?
Emily Skye: You’ve actually asked it here. I think more towards mental health is probably something I’m more interested in.
Lewis Howes: What’s something you’d do, then, to empower your mental health, and strengthen your mental health on a daily basis? That’s either in the morning or afternoon or whatever.
Emily Skye: Breathing. It sounds simple, but, just stopping to take time to breathe into your diaphragm so that you can think and have a clear sort of mind and so you can work out where you’re at and where you want to go from there. And you get so caught up in life being so busy that you forget what’s happening. Or, I do, anyway. I get really out of control and don’t know, I just feel stressed out, it’s just so much to sort of handle and you’ve got to stop sometimes, take deep breaths and then relax. Spend time on yourself, and even if it’s only ten minutes a day, and I know people talk about this, but doing something that is, like, you’re creative or your time-out, that is just time to yourself. Sit down reading a book, or sit down doing nothing. Turn your phone off and just really try to get back to your balance.
Lewis Howes: Get grounded, yeah.
Emily Skye: Yeah, grounded. So, for me, even just walking along the beach. I’m lucky enough to live near the beach, and getting my shoes off and just getting my bare feet in the sand and getting in the water. I just feel like you’re almost earthing yourself, like you’re downloading all the crap and the negative stuff and then you recharge and fill up with positive energy from the earth. Not to get too hippy or anything, but it works.
Lewis Howes: We’re in L.A. It’s okay, you can speak like that here. Very cool. Anything else on mental health, besides breathing?
Emily Skye: Mental health, yeah, talking more, like I’ve said before, but talking more to people, not being afraid of opening up and being vulnerable, with the right people, of course. Sometimes if you’re vulnerable with the wrong people it can really turn worse for you. It’s a whole other topic, isn’t it? Realising that you’re not alone and that there’s so many people out there that are more alike than you think, and if we did just talk about it more, then we could get through more and have that support, support each other.
Lewis Howes: Very cool. Final few questions for you. Or is there any questions you have for me, first, before we bring it to the final stretch?
Emily Skye: When are you coming to Australia?
Lewis Howes: I’ve been asked this a lot, lately. I have a big audience there, actually, so I need to get over there sometime. Maybe round my next book. This book launch, I might try to come over there at the end of this year. I’ll figure it out. But you’re on the Gold Coast, right?
Emily Skye: Yeah, it’s beautiful.
Lewis Howes: How far is that?
Emily Skye: Brisbane’s the main city near there. I’m on the Gold Coast, but Brisbane’s about an hour and twenty minutes drive from there, so you can actually fly into Brisbane. I’m trying to get you over there.
Lewis Howes: So, if I go to Brisbane, you’ll come, we’ll hang out in Brisbane?
Emily Skye: Of course. Yeah, hundred percent.
Lewis Howes: Cool. Yeah, maybe I’ll do a tour and I’ll connect with you guys afterwards and spend some time. This is called The Three Truths. So you’ve put out a lot of content over the years. You’ve got a lot of programmes, you know, videos, images, everything. But let’s say this is your last day many years from now. And all the stuff you’ve ever put out has been erased. All your content, images, everything’s gone. Programmes, gone. But you have a piece of paper and pen to write down the three things you know to be true about all of your experiences in life. The three lessons that you’d share with the world and these would be the only things that people would have to remember you by. What would you say are your three truths?
Emily Skye: Be 100% you. And don’t be afraid to be who you are. And it’s not about trying to be who you think people want you to be. You’ve got to find out who you are and then being happy with that and realising that not everyone is going to like you, but it’s so much better to just be 100% you, and if people don’t like you, then that doesn’t matter. There’s one.
Two: Choose people that you want in your life, that are real and giving you something back, so it works both ways, obviously so I think our time is so short and our lives are so short, you don’t want to waste it with the wrong people. And I’ve wasted it with a lot of wrong people before, so really realising who’s real. Does that count?
Lewis Howes: Yeah. That’s two.
Emily Skye: We have one more. I think something that I struggled with is, perfection and realising that nobody is perfect, nobody’s even close to it, and that chasing it is never going to make you happy, because I’ve been there, and I’ve done that and it never did, it never made me happy. And being okay with “good enough is good enough”. Just trying the best that you can and just being 100% who you are. I think this goes back to my first one, you know, it sort of ties in, but, yeah. But being authentic and it’s not about perfection because that doesn’t exist and it’ll never make you happy anyway, it’s boring. I think that counts for three. That’s hard that’s really hard! You should have told me this earlier, I could have sat there and come up with a great response.
Lewis Howes: I love it! It’s all about being spontaneous. It’s okay. You said, don’t try to be perfect. If you had have known before then it would have been too perfect.
Emily Skye: Exactly! I know!
Lewis Howes: So it was perfect in it’s imperfection, right?
Emily Skye: Yeah, imperfectly perfect.
Lewis Howes: Exactly. I want to acknowledge you for a minute, Emily, for all that you’ve been through. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, you’ve overcome a lot that people weren’t even aware of, and sounds like about a decade of darkness, maybe even longer, and for you to discover your own worth and really fall in love with yourself, which I think is really important for all of us to do. To be able to do that, first, is a huge thing, and then to be able to share that with the world and to inspire so many millions of people that you do, I want to acknowledge you above all that you’re staying committed to yourself, and then to share that with the world. It’s making an impact, so I appreciate you.
Emily Skye: Thank you!
Lewis Howes: Before I ask the final question, I want to know where can we connect with you?
Emily Skye: Come to Australia!
Lewis Howes: You’ve got a number of programmes on how to optimise your fitness and nutrition and workout and all that, and it’s all at your website, am I correct?
Emily Skye: Yes. So it’s emilyskye.com. Make sure you don’t forget the ‘E’, it’s emilyskye with an ‘E’ at the end, dot com. And then there’s Facebook, if you just search Emily Skye on there it’ll come up and emilyskyefit on Instagram, Snapchat’s the same and Twitter is missemilyskye, but if I get married, that’s going to have to change. When I get married.
Lewis Howes: Miss Emily Skye. What’s the thing you’re most excited about right now?
Emily Skye: Having a baby! Most excited! I’ve never been more excited in my life.
Lewis Howes: That people can support you with in your online stuff, you know, are you most on Instagram now or Facebook or where should they go? The main place.
Emily Skye: I think Instagram’s a little bit more personal. I’m on there a lot more and I do talk to everyone on there, so I respond, people comment and I respond, but I think what’s been really cool about this new journey I’m on, having a baby, is I’m used to being the person that maybe people come to and I sort of give out information, or motivation, inspiration, whatever it is people come to me for. But now a lot of people are giving back, and I’m learning from them, about having a baby. Which is really cool, and I think people like to feel like they’re offering value, or they’re needed or wanted, and it’s a really cool way for them to give to me and then I appreciate that and it really is a community, and really like a family and I wish I could meet everyone, give everyone a hug.
Lewis Howes: Do another world tour in a few years and you can have everyone come meet you. Very cool! Well, I’m excited, and I really appreciate the time you came her and I know it’s going to add a lot of value to people.
Emily Skye: Thanks for having me.
Lewis Howes: Yeah, of course! The final question is: What’s your definition of greatness?
Emily Skye: Definition of greatness is being 100% yourself, and working out what it is that you enjoy in life, what gets you out of bed every day, what gives you the passion for life, and how can you make that a part of what you do every day, so whether it’s your career, your job, how can you make it a part of that. And then, to me, what’s very important as well, obviously, reaching people and somehow helping them in some way that’s, I think if I’m able to do that and sort of give to them in some way, give back, that’s my definition of greatness. So, it’s when everything’s aligned, my goals and what I want out of it and am I doing things the right way, am I helping people as well, where it’s not just about me and for my own benefit, it’s not enough. I need to be doing something more to help people. I think that’s definition.
Lewis Howes: Awesome! Emily, thank you so much for coming up, I appreciate it.
Emily Skye: Thanks for having me! Come to Australia, you can get in my suitcase.
Lewis Howes: I will! There you have it, my friends, I hope you enjoyed this and it inspires you to be greater today. Again, Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” You have incredible power within you. Now is the time for you to step up and move forward. Don’t analyze your life anymore. Don’t second-guess yourself anymore. Take committed action, one step forward today. And then continue to do it over and over again, to get closer to the life that you want to live, the relationships you want to be in, the business you want to have, the career you want to have and the feelings you want to have around your health and your environment. Again, this is your life, you have ownership over the thoughts that you have every single day, and over the decisions you make and the actions you take. If you enjoyed this, make sure to share it out with your friends: lewishowes.com/566. Take a screenshot of this, post it on your Instagram story, tell me what you got the most out of during this interview and let me know. Post on social media, and I screenshot a lot of these of what you guys do, so any creative posts you do on Instagram, tag me, @lewishowes, tag Emily Skye as well. I’ll screenshot and share some of these on my Instagram story to send you some love back also. You mean the world to me. Thank you so much for all you do, for spreading this message, but most of all, for taking the action on the things you learn in these interviews and these episodes, because if we just take in the information and we don’t apply it, then we’re wasting the information. But thank you for all that you guys do. I get so many e-mails and messages and tweets and posts on Instagram, telling me about your transformations in your business and your life and it means the world to me and I’m so glad that we’re doing this together, we’re growing together. I’m learning, you’re learning, we’re doing this together. Again, a big thank you to our sponsor today foursigmatic.com/greatness. You get 15% off your order right now when you go to foursigmatic.com/greatness. Again, the active ingredient in their coffee, is lion’s mane mushroom, which has long been used by Buddhist monks for better focus during meditation. For those who are getting stomach pain from regular coffee, mushroom coffee is a gut-friendly coffee option. And it doesn’t taste like mushrooms, guys, it tastes like coffee, it’s one of the most powerful superfoods out there, and I’m very excited for you guys to get this. Let me know when you do. Again, 15% off at foursigmatic.com/greatness. Thank you again, guys, for being here, it means the world to me, and you know what time it is: It’s time to go out there and do something great!