So many people I know put more time and energy into their things, or their career, than they do into into their relationship.
I know I can be guilty of it, and I’m sure you can be too.
We put so much time into fixing up things like our homes, maintaining our cars, we tend to forget about those closest to us. We take them for granted.
When is the last time you really took the time to make your partner feel good? How often do you really put effort into boosting their confidence — or even just being present with them.
That’s not the only relationship we neglect though – we also forget about the one with ourselves.
Chances are it’s been awhile since you’ve taken the time to forgive yourself. To do something respectable and give yourself that moment to appreciate it.
To appreciate you.
To dive further into this I wanted to bring back a previous episode with the internationally acclaimed spiritual author and lecturer, Marianne Williamson on Episode 639.
Lewis Howes: This is 5-Minute Friday!!
Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed spiritual author and lecturer and she has been a popular guest on television programs such as Oprah, many times, Larry King Live, Good Morning America, Charlie Rose and many more. And she has twelve published books and seven of them have been on the New York Times bestsellers list, which is pretty incredible.
Marianne Williamson: I mean, love is what matters, you know? Everything else is, like, “What are we talking about here?” We have a society in which, and I talk about this in the book. People pay more attention to taking care of their car, than taking care of their relationships.
You could buy a Bentley, you could buy a Rolls Royce, but you’re going to take it off the lot, you’re still going to have to put gas in it, you’re still going to have to maintain it. That’s why it’s high maintenance, because it’s a great car. But we expect our relationships to just take care of themselves and not be such a problem, “I have to do so much.” No. That’s kind of the point.
In relationships, as well as everything else, you get what you put into it. You know, sometimes I’ll say, at my lectures, I’ll say, “I don’t want anybody to raise your hand, or anything, because I don’t want to put you on the spot, but if you’re in love, or if you’re married, did you pray for your partner’s happiness this morning? Did you wake up this morning and before he or she left that house and just said, ‘I just want you to know you are just so fantastic and I so believe in you, and you are so hot, and you are so…”
You know, we always talk about how important it is that we build children’s self esteem, at what age do we stop needing that? And also, we talk about how it’s important to tell your children to say their prayers, at what age should we stop doing that? Right? We’re so clear that, children, you must build their self-esteem, well, you could use the help, too. And so could I. And it’s a full-time…
You know, monitoring your own life, your own mind, being vigilant on behalf of your own best self, downloading the best version of yourself, atoning for your own mistakes. You know a lot of the pain that we feel when we go through difficult times in our lives is, “I messed up,” and “If only I had done it different,” et cetera.
You can’t numb yourself or distract yourself from that pain. In all the religious traditions, spiritual traditions, catholicism, there’s confession. In Judaism the holiest day of the year is Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement. In Alcoholics Anonymous you have to take a fearless moral inventory. You have to admit the exact nature of your wrongs.
You have to look at that. “I blew it. I made a mistake.” And atone, atone for that. It’s a spiritual, it’s not self will, you give this to God, “I did this, I get it. And I atone for that error.” It’s like a cosmic reset button. And then the only way you can get your self respect back is if you do something that would make you respect yourself. Like, “I’m going to be different this time. I’m not going to be that way next time. I’m going to be a better person, today.”
And if you really see, as your life’s purpose, to actualise and be the best you can be and rise to the occasion in every situation, including your relationships and to be really present, you don’t have time for all that other craziness and criticism and blame and victimisation. If you’ve filled your house with light, darkness can’t come in.
Lewis Howes: Hey, guys! If you enjoyed this inspirational clip from a past episode of the show, then you’ll love the free book I’m giving away right now. It’s called The Millionaire Morning. It includes some of my best tips for starting off your day with a millionaire mindset. Get your free copy at themillionairemorning.com and just pay shipping.
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