Lewis Howes

Lewis Howes:                 This is episode number 658, Understanding Human Psychology.

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Welcome to The School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur and each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now, let the class begin.

Welcome everyone, this is episode number 658, this is My Personal Mindset Hacks for High Performance.

I was having a conversation with a couple of Brazilian influencers the other day, that were here, and it got me thinking about this. They were mentioning how the mindset in Brazil, in general, is kind of like this, there’s a victim mentality, sometimes, for some of the people in Brazil, is what they were saying, at least.

I’m not sure if this is everyone, I’ve met some people from Brazil who are amazing and super positive and who were doing great things, but I think some of the people there have this mentality of, like, “Everything’s out to get us. I’m not worthy of having what I want. Right before I achieve what I want, something’s going to break down and I’m not going to get it,” and kind of, this mentality.

And so, I wanted to do a full episode on my mindset hacks and really what I do to think differently than what the norms have been taught in society, for me, and for my peers, growing up. And a lot of this is luck, and my parents taught me a lot of these things early on, in which something needs to shift inside of you.

Or, to change that belief over time, something needs to not work, something needs to have a breakdown, you need to suffer in order for that way of thinking or that mindset to shift into looking for a different question, looking for a different way, looking for another process in your life.

And so I put together a list of six different things that I think about differently, even now, and I used to not think about this way, or have always been thinking this way. But these things are kind of contradictory to what most people might think you should be doing in this part of your life. So I want to talk about these six things.

Again, the things you should be thinking about differently and applying differently to your life to get much greater results, and much higher performance in your life, so these are the mindset hacks that I personally use for my life.

So the first one is health as a lifestyle. Now, I grew up eating a lot of crap, I mean, I’m just going to be honest. I ate a ton of sugar, I ate a ton of junk, fried foods. We’d have like, eight cans of Coke or Pepsi or Sprite every single day and thought it was actually hydrating us.

You know, I just didn’t know any better. I was eating pasta and chicken fingers and pizza every single day and tons of milk. I mean, I was having eight glasses of milk probably, as well, half the time, growing up. I used to have a five gallon commercial metal milk dispenser in my bedroom, believe it or not, for a year.

I was living as a boarding student in St Louis, Missouri, at a private school, and in the dorm room I asked them if they could put a container of refrigerated milk, a five gallon bag. We’d fill up every single week, and just crushed the thing, every single day, just pouring it down like you’re in the lunch room.

And I was always like, “I’m just going to burn all this off, I’m healthy, I’m skinny, nothing is affecting me. I’ll be fine.” Until I could hardly ever breathe, I was constantly out of breath, I had a stuffy nose constantly, I always had inflammation and pain in my joints, and I wondered why. And it was until later in my life, when I discovered information about nutrition in the body and really decided that I needed to shift things.

I stopped playing professional football, got injured and gained about 35/40lb and I didn’t notice it, I was chubby in my cheeks, my face, I had like, marshmallow face. They called me ‘Flewis’, for ‘Fat Lewis’, and I started to feel the effects. You know I remember one day I looked down and my underwear was rolled over, like, it folded over because my belly was pushing out so much that my underwear now had rolls.

And I remember, at that moment I was like, “I need to shift this. Something that I thought about growing up in the way I had been living my life and my mindset, isn’t working any more, so let me find a new way to shift it.” And I really think about health as a lifestyle now, not like a diet, or I can do what I like sometimes, and change what I want another time, it’s really about a lifestyle.

And health is either hurting us, or helping us achieve the life we want, and everything comes down to if we’re healthy or not. Nothing else really matters if we’re sick. Think about it. If you’ve been on your bed for a week, or on your couch for a week, you miss work, you miss school, you can’t go to any activities, you can’t be around your loved ones because you’re sick, you’re coughing, you’re in pain, you can’t move.

You’ll do anything to get over the sickness, to get over the pain. And, sometimes, when we get out of the sickness we go back to our old ways of routines, which get us back too being sick again. Needing to be on medications, [having] low energy throughout the day, always being behind. Health is either hurting or helping your dreams.

And I learned this about, I don’t know, about eight years ago, seven or eight years ago, when I really started to dive into educating myself on nutrition and lifestyle, living it like a lifestyle. It’s very challenging to break a habit. You know, for 25 to 27 years, I just ate sugar every single day.

I would have candy bars just for lunch, I would have six candy bars! And call it a meal. Snickers, it’s protein in there, peanut butter, right? I was just, like, “This thing’s all good for me.” And I was addicted to sugar, and still today, it’s an addiction of, I crave it all the time.

But when I shift my mindset around, this is either helping or hurting me for a greater purpose in my life, for a greater vision in my life, when I shift the mindset and think of something bigger than the pleasure of right now, of having that sugar rush or sugar high, or whatever it may be, and I shift it towards the mind of the future, the mind of something greater that I’m thinking about, of something that I want to achieve, or how I want to show up for people or how I want to inspire people, or how I want to live a long time, pain free, so that I can do the things I love.

When I start to put my attention on my dreams and aspirations, then my mindset is able to push through any of the desires of wanting to have bad food, because I know it will hurt me in the long run. And, listen, I’m a human being, so I’ll still have deserts and things that I like every now and then, but it’s a conscious decision to eat more mindfully, and eat with responsibility.

Now that’s a word that, now, I’m not vegan, so the vegans listening may think I’m a bad person still, because I’m not plant based, and I’m still not a perfect human being in that regard. But it’s about the mindfulness of eating what I’m eating whether it’s meat or plant based or whatever it may be, but being intentionally mindful of where my food is from, making sure it’s organic, it’s grass fed, and all those different things.

And not just abusing food, not abusing food as a crutch for something, emotionally, that I’m missing out on. And that’s essentially where it comes from, it’s like, “Is food something that’s supporting to fuel my dreams, and something that I can also enjoy, the richness of food and life? Or is it something to mask a pain or a deeper sense of feeling not desired, or not worthy, or not accepted, or anything else I might be missing out on?”

And if we’re eating from a sense of lack, of pain, of suffering, then that’s not the right mindset to have, with our food, with the way we move, so, for me, it’s hard to stay focussed on this lifestyle, unless I create structure. So, the mindset, understanding why I’m having a healthy lifestyle, but structure is the second thing, because it’s hard to follow through on any of this.

So, I really schedule it out, you know, 6am workouts, I get it done first thing in the morning. It is not fun, it sucks, I don’t like waking up at 5:30 and going to the gym. I went this morning, and I was like, “Man, I’m really tired, I don’t want to do this.” But at the end, I felt so much stronger, so much more confident, so much more capable of taking on anything else throughout the day.

And the more you do this, every single time you do this and follow through on it and actually commit to it, your mind gets stronger, your confidence grows. And the belief you have in yourself and your abilities continues to grow.

So, all these things play hand in hand. It’s about the lifestyle. Doing things you don’t want to do today, to create a greater tomorrow is I’m always focussing on.And it pays off, it always pays off when you do those things. So that’s the first thing: Health as a lifestyle.

The second thing, Personal Mindset Hacks for High Performance. The second thing is time. Now, this is something interesting. My dad, when growing up, we wouldn’t celebrate birthdays, and I’ve told this story a bunch, but he never wore a watch, but he was always on time. And he always lived with a sense of urgency and passion, towards the meetings he was going to, the actions he was taking, he had a sense of urgency for his life.

And I think, growing up, I was always amazed by this, and I asked my dad, “Why don’t we celebrate birthdays?” and he said, “I never want you to focus on your age, or time as something as a determining factor towards your life and your dreams.” So many people focus on their age and say that they’re too young to achieve what they want, they’re too young, they’re not capable of being a great athlete at that age, or a great musician or a great doctor at that age.

Or, some people go through life saying, “I’m too old to try this now. My time has passed. Time is gone, I can’t learn this, I’m too old to pursue my dream now,” and they limit themselves through their mindset, the way they think about time and their age.

And I’m always living in urgency, but I’m not focussing on my age as much.  I just hit thirty-five and it kind of hit me, I was like, “Man, I’m getting closer to forty, now!” I had to stop myself and stop focussing on the age or the number, and focus more on just living life with urgency, no matter what. Urgency at fifteen, and twenty-five, thirty-five, fifty-five, eighty-five, just always living with urgency.

Not saying, “Well, I’ve got all the time in the world. You might have a lot of time, you might be around for another fifty, seventy, a hundred years. You might, or it might be all over today.” And I think about my last moment, if I got to reflect before I knew I was going to pass away, in my last moments, and ask myself the question, “Did you at least go for everything you wanted to go for? Did you at least attempt it and give your best effort towards everything that you wanted to try and explore during this lifetime? ”

And if I can answer that question in a positive manner, then I feel like I have lived a life of something meaningful and rewarding, and something that I can be proud of, personally. Now, I many never achieve certain things that I set out to achieve, but as long as I know that I went for it and pursued it.

Like, I’ve been in pursuit of playing in the Olympics for the last seven, eight years, now. We still haven’t qualified as US National Handball Team, but I’ve been giving an incredible effort, right? And I may never make it, you know? I may, maybe I won’t.

And as long as I know that I gave my full effort and I went as long as I could, and I still have passion for it, and I still went for it, and I still cared about, or I stop when I don’t care any more, then at least I know I gave it an incredible effort, and I can be at peace within myself, understanding that sense of time and urgency.

Don’t live thinking you have tons of time, even if you might have that. Live with a sense of urgency and make the most of the time right now. That’s the second mindset hack or belief.

The third one, self-doubt and victim mentality. Now, I mentioned at the beginning of this episode, about these two Brazilian influencers that I met. This is Flavia and Bruna. They’re these incredible, one’s a writer, one’s a YouTuber that teaches kids and moms and parents how to be good parents and raise their kids with a better mentality.

And I met with them yesterday, and they mentioned how – they’re both from Brazil – and they mentioned how there is this kind of victim and self-doubt mentality that they noticed, and kind of like just the general aura of Brazil, right?

Now, it doesn’t mean every Brazilian has that mentality, they were just saying that’s kind of like the overall feeling of the media and people you talk to and the overall feeling. Whereas, in America, it’s more about going for your dreams and believing in yourself and all those things. And, one of the things, the mindset hack, my parents always believed in having self-worth.

Having that self-worth, and the more self-worth you have or create for yourself, the more you believe that you are deserving of having financial abundance, that you’re deserving of having the relationship of your dreams, deserving of having the career you want, things like that. Whereas some people I hear will say, “Well, I don’t know if I’m worthy of having the relationship I want, or I’m worthy of having that job, or I’m worthy of certain things or of the health that I want.”

We’re all worthy of whatever we choose to be worthy of. And if we continue to choose that we’re not worthy, then we’re going to attract unworthy things or feelings or thoughts. But when we shift our mentality to unlimited possibilities, to an abundance mindset, and say, “I am worthy, by the actions I take and the things I follow up on, how I treat other people, by the skills I’m learning, but what I’m mastering, by the time that I put into things.”

You know, when we continue to show up and serve in ways we start to develop a deeper sense of self-worth and that self-worth creates an abundance mindset. An abundance mindset that you have confidence in yourself that you can create the things you want, and you can attract the things you want. The people you want in your life, the finances you want in your life, the meaningful work you want in your life, things like that.

So, one of the big questions is, “Why am I here?”  Something we probably have all thought about at some point. “Why am I here? What’s the point of all this? Is this real? Am I real? Am I a mistake? Am I supposed to be here? Did my parents mean to have me, or was I an accident?”

You know, I think a lot of us, if we don’t figure out what that answer is, we live in self-doubt and we live in victim mentality. Honestly, who knows what the answer is? Maybe we’re all just a part of some big dream, right? Who knows what the answer is? But I believe it’s our duty to interpret and create a story around what our own answer is and discover that for ourselves.

And when you can get clear on your answer, for why you’re here, and own it, and be responsible for that story, then, I believe, you can move through life and choose to feel, think, act in different ways. And those ways create different results for you life. So, a self-doubt, victim mentality, there’s no room for self-doubt and a victim mentality.

You may feel like, “I’m not ready to do something,” or, “I’m doubting myself in this sport or in this activity or on a job interview,” or whatever it may be. You may be doubting yourself for a few moments and say, “Well, I’m going to give my best,” is different than to say, like, “I’m unworthy.” You can always doubt, and still give your best and go in with your best foot forward, no matter what.

You’re always going to have some type of nerves or fear or something whenever you get out of your comfort zone, and that’s natural, that’s okay. But never say that, “I’m unworthy,” never say the you’re not worthy of something, because you’ll constantly attract things that reaffirm that feeling. You may not achieve everything, because you just may not be ready for it, or you may not be prepared, but don’t have a sense of, “I’m unworthy.” That’s huge! And when you can shift that, you can just get out of the rut of victim mentality.

The fourth thing I want to talk about is, work and dreams. Now a lot of people tell me that they ended up doing things that their parents wanted them to do, that their teachers wanted them to do, and if they didn’t love it, they ended up feeling resentful, lost, stuck and like they spent their whole year, got into debt learning all these things, went to class for years, learning all these things that they really didn’t find meaningful.

They may have brought them some protection, some safety, some financial security, something else, they may have brought you something else, but I’m always thinking about working, finding meaningful work first. Find things that are meaningful work for you, or work on something that bring you closer to meaningful work.

Now, you may not be able to do exactly what you want, based on if you’re just getting out of college, or in high school, or a certain age, or whatever it may be, if you don’t have the skill set of something, you may not be able to be where you want to be in your career at this moment, but you can take a step of working towards something that bring you meaningful work.

You can work and master skills at those things, you can work somewhere at a job that maybe you don’t like, but you’re also learning something there that you know you’re going to take, at a certain place, to the next step.

And that’s what the key is. Like, focussing on, “Okay, I’m going to sacrifice today, for a greater tomorrow. At least I’m working on something that’s going to bring me more meaningful work in the future,” and that’s really the key. As opposed to just saying, “Well, I’m stuck here, I have to work here because I did a degree for four years and now this is what I’ve got to do for the rest of my life, and I’m just going to be miserable, and I just have to suck it up.”

No! You either choose to be happy with your work, or choose that this work is a stepping stone to bring you a more meaningful experience with the work you do in the future.  And I see too many people wrapped up in this thing that, “I don’t like what I’m doing. I wish I was doing something different. I hate my job, I hate my work. My parents forced me to do this, my teachers told me I should do this.”

Don’t live for what other people encourage or pressure you to do, this is your life, live for what brings you meaningful work.

Now, number five is people. I see people constantly connecting with other individuals to try to gain something, and that mentality, that mindset, never works out in the long run. People always feel used, taken advantage of, and they feel like you don’t have their best interests in mind. So you really want to connect to the heart, not the head, when it comes to people.

Whether it be in relationships, intimate, professional, family, connect to the heart, not to the head. And don’t look for something to gain, look for something to give. A lot of people ask me, “Well, Lewis, how do you get all these incredible people on your podcast? How do you interview all these influencers and celebrities and billionaires? How do you get them to say yes, to meet with you so you can ask these questions?”

Or, “How do you have the relationships that you do have and have those friendships that you have? How did you develop that?” And I always give the answer, “You know, I’ve always made it about them. Connecting to what their biggest desires are, their biggest needs are, their biggest passions are and focussed on them, not focussed on what I can gain from these individuals.”

And I think that’s where a lot of people have this mentality of, like, “I need to achieve results right now in my career, so I need to go meet the person and have them give me a job. I need to go meet this person and have them invest in my company. I need to go meet this person and have them promote me, and market me on social media and send it out to their e-mail list so I can make money now.”

I get it, you have an agenda that you want to create something in your life. But if you connect to people with an agenda, they’re never going to want to support you in your life. You may get something really quick and then hurt the relationship forever. So, you’ve got to lead with the heart, lead with how can I serve you first, lead with how can I add value to your life, whether it’s just hanging out and not bugging people, or just asking innocent questions, or just being a good human being.

So, focus on giving, focus on service, when it comes to people. Don’t focus on, “What can I gain from this person?” No, “How can I give, and how can I give more?” And that will go a long way. You know, Adam Grant has a book called, ‘Give And Take’, where there’s a whole science behind developing relationships.

And you don’t want to just always give, give, give, give, give, and let someone take advantage of you, or abuse you, or anything like that. There’s some give and take in all types of relationships, but when I focus on giving and service first, it almost always comes back around where someone wants to help me. In something, it might be right away, or in five years.

That mentality really pays off, and switching that mentality will go a long way. So, when people focus on giving, not what you can gain, focus on connecting to the heart, not to the head, and find clarity in the types of people you want to surround yourself with. Just because you grew up with a certain group of people, doesn’t mean you need to grow up with a certain type of people.

You can let those individuals go that you grew up with, and grow more into greater relationships for your now and for your future. Just because you were childhood friends with someone, and felt like you owe someone time and energy because you spent twenty years with them, if they’re not willing to change or evolve or grow or shift in certain ways, and it’s affecting you negatively, and you’ve communicated with them clearly a number of times.

And not just abandoning them, but you’ve communicated a number of times how you’d like the relationship to grow and evolve, and if they don’t want to grow with you, then you don’t have to be forced to constantly hang out with that same person every Saturday afternoon for six hours, doing things you don’t want to do. You can grow into a different person, with different people around you, and that’s okay.

And the last thing that I’ll talk about for My Personal Mindset Hacks for Higher Performance, is around money. Money seems to be something that a lot of people struggle with. It’s something I struggled with my entire life, because I grew up without money. We grew up on the lower spectrum of the finances in our neighbourhood and in America, we were on the lower end, right?

We still had a home and had our food and clothes and all these things. It wasn’t like we were poor, but we didn’t have an abundance of money and there was definitely this feeling of scarcity and we weren’t living with much. It was very much a month-on-month type of feeling, growing up.

And so, I always had this fear around money, like I was always going to be broke, or I was never going to have enough. And that mentality is hard to get out of. I get it. If you’re in that mentality right now, I definitely feel for you, because it is one of the scariest things to feel like, “How am I going to pay my bills, this month or next month?”, or, “I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few months.”

No one wants to feel homeless. No one wants to feel like they can’t earn a living and pay for the things that get people by. So, I get it and I feel for them, because, ten years ago, that’s how I was feeling. It’s something I started to shift around.

You know, one of my mentors, Chris Hawker, said, “You know, money will come to you when you’re ready for it.” And I remember thinking, at the time, “Man! I’m really ready for money to come to me right now,” like, “I could use this money right now, so, I’m ready for it! Come on, money!”

And it wasn’t until later, when it made sense, because I wasn’t ready to manage money. I wasn’t ready to take it on emotionally. If I had gotten a big check or something, I would have probably blown it in the wrong ways, and you see that sometimes with Lottery winners, right? Almost 95% or more blow 100 million dollars, and commit suicide or have some type of deaths within a few years afterwards.

If we’re not ready to manage it, or if we don’t learn quickly how to manage it, then money is probably going to consume us because our mindset is not ready for that amount of wealth. So, what I think about is living for today while you invest in tomorrow. Living for today, while you invest in tomorrow.

I am constantly investing and putting away money for tomorrow. I’m investing in different investments in general, I’m investing in myself. I’m putting money into learning new skills, into education, into relationships, into my business, into creating new projects. I’m living for today, while I’m also investing today for a greater tomorrow.

And I have met so many people, over the years, that just live and spend for today and this month. They just think money is going to keep coming in all the time, and so they overspend, and live just for today, and don’t put anything away, or very little away, for tomorrow.

Whereas I’m thinking, “How can I live on less, now?”  You know, I already have a lot of nice things, I don’t need to buy more things. I don’t need fancy watches or necklaces or tons of crazy clothes or whatever it may be. I’m already living an amazing life. I already have so much. So, let me put a majority of my money away for investing for my future.

Again, in investments that grow for me. You know, when you invest in the right things, your money is like saying, “Hey, Lewis, I’m the money you put away a few years ago, and what I’m going to do right now is, I’m going to go out to a 9-5 job for you. Every day, I’m going to show up, and I’m going to make $100 and hour, $500 an hour, $1,000 and hour, and you don’t even have to show up to this job, because I’m going to show up for you.”

And this money is just going to keep growing in your bank account, and you’re just going to keep being paid every day, for as long as you live. Money is just going to keep getting paid from this other job. That job’s called an investment.

You put money away now for tomorrow, your money is going to work for you. It’s going to go to a job an earn you a return every single day, and when you think of that, and the more money you put away now, it’s like your money is multiplying into more employees for you, and they’re all going out to a job, every single day.  And their job is to make you more money.

And when you have that mentality, you start to shift it, and say, “Okay, I’m going to put more away today, to invest in my future, so that I have multiple jobs out there that are earning income for me, and it all comes back to one person: me. That is a powerful way of thinking.

But, I remember meeting a professional athlete years ago, when I was living in Columbus, Ohio. And this guy was making great money, right? He was a professional athlete, making great money. And I go, “Are you investing a lot? Are you saving a lot?” And he goes, “Nah, life is now, I live for now. Who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow? I may or may not be here.”

And this was nine years ago? About nine years ago. I remember thinking, “Huh, that’s interesting. I would want to have money for my future, though. Like, what if I get injured? What if I get hurt?” You know?

Yes, my life could end tomorrow and then I have all this money sitting in the bank, I get it, but also, something could happen where I’m stressing out later in life if I haven’t created more money, and I don’t have anything, then I have to rely on someone else.

And, it’s funny, I got a message from him a couple of years ago, and he was looking for a job, because he ran out of money. And he said, “You know, I really wish I would have invested better, back then, for today. And I think it’s just a mentality. You know, it’s like, we can live on a lot less than we think. We don’t need all these fancy things.

And if you invest now, for a greater tomorrow, you’ll be able to enjoy those things later if you want. But they obviously, they don’t bring us a lot of fulfilment anyway. Create an environment and have things you like, and things like that, but you don’t need to spend so much right now to bring you joy and happiness.

Spend to have a nice, comfortable life that you enjoy and have fun with. And that’s what it’s all about. Invest in skills, invest in learning, invest your money so that it works for you. Again, shift the mindset around money.

These are six things that I came up with that I thought, maybe, they would be helpful for you.  I’d love to know which of the six you enjoyed the most, feel free to leave a comment if you’re watching on YouTube, if you’re listening on the audio, leave a comment on my Instagram page, @LewisHowes and let me know, because when we sift our mindset to work for us, as opposed to working against us, we start to create a lot more magic in our life.

And I thought this could be a powerful episode, solo episode and round to connect with all of you on just a few of the things I think about a little bit differently than a lot of people that I talk to. And a few of those things that work for me. I’m constantly looking for new ways to hack the way I think, and my mindset, to continue to grow.

So, if you have any ideas, feel free to share with me, again, the comments, I’d love to hear your mindset hacks as well, to create more abundance and high performance for you. Other than that, I hope you have a great one! See you next time!

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There you have it, my friends, I hope you enjoyed this one! If you did, again, make sure to share it out with your friends, lewishowes.com/658, all about My Mindset Hacks. I’d love to hear some of your thoughts as well. Leave a comment over on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all the places we like to hang out.

And a big thank you to ziprecruiter.com/greatness. Again, if you’re looking to hire, if you’re looking to bring on great talent for your business, for your team, for your company, check out ziprecruiter.com/greatness, you can go there and try it for free, at ziprecruiter.com/greatness. Again, it’s so effective that 80% of employers who post get a quality candidate through this site, within the first day.

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Go to summitofgreatness.com right now and get your ticket. Get a few tickets for friends. Bring the whole family and let’s have a celebration together! I’d love to see you and meet you in person.

Again, you were born with something special inside of you. You may not know exactly what it is, but it’s your duty to figure out how to optimise your life, to create the life that you can imagine in your dreams.

I don’t care how old you are right now, if you’re a teenager, in your twenties, your thirties, your seventies, you can live and change you life at any moment, to start feeling different, by your thoughts and then your actions that follow.

You are an incredible human being, I love you so very much! And you know what time it is: It’s time to go out there and do something great!