Lewis Howes

Happiness isn’t a mask.

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Learn to Love Yourself (the BLUEPRINT to Acceptance)

Recently, I’ve been having a lot of conversations with friends about overwhelm and stress. A lot of things are boiling up inside for people that they’ve been able to mask for years because they haven’t had to deal with being alone by themselves. COVID-19 has changed that.

Due to social distancing and isolation, you’re probably spending more time alone than you ever have. Just you. And when you’re by yourself, it can be difficult. There’s more space to face the problems you want to improve, and sometimes, that can turn into self-loathing.

There are people who are extremely successful — people who look like they have it all together — who truly hate themselves. And then there are people who are struggling amid hard circumstances who somehow have joy — they love themselves.

Being in tune with yourself is essential for a truly happy life. All great relationships and careers start with you loving yourself. In this 5-Minute Friday, we’re going to talk about the importance of loving yourself and the blueprint to self-acceptance.

“Nothing else matters if you don’t find a way to love yourself for who you are.” @lewishowes

If you don’t love yourself, you’ll be seeking something to validate what’s missing inside, always in every relationship. You’ll put on a mask that everything’s okay — and your life may look perfect to some people — but inside you’re down, you’re tired, and you’re unhappy.

If this sounds like you, I want to encourage you to reach out to someone. If you’re feeling lonely, you should not be holding that inside. Money, fancy cars, and hot dates aren’t going to fill your heart up. What you need to do is look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself this set of questions:

What is hurting me? There are always things in our lives that drain our energy. It might be a person, it might be a distraction, a bad habit — what is not serving you? Make a list and reflect on how you may need to let go.
How can I heal? After you’ve identified the things that hurt you, it’s time to start healing those things. And this is easier said than done. It’s taken me 25 years to heal certain things because of how painful they are to accept. But you’ve got to learn to forgive – forgive others and yourself. Shame and guilt will cripple you until you undergo a therapeutic experience to let it go.
Who do I want to be? After you’ve begun the healing process, you can begin to imagine the greatest version of yourself. What does that person look like? What does their energy feel like? What kind of life do they live? Journal about that person and how they live their life.
Am I living my authentic truth? Lastly, make sure that you’re being authentic to yourself and not trying to live a life someone else wants you to live. If you’re living to impress other people, you’ll always be lonely. If you’re in a career you hate, you’ll always be unsatisfied. I want you to feel loved, so choose to live your life in a manner that you love.

And always, always find accountability and support. I got your back here every single week. I’m here to support you — through YouTube, through our social media, our courses, our membership site, our events, everything. We do our best to have your back. And if this is inspiring for you and help you, then please let me know because I’m going to create more information and content like this for you.

If you’re ready to learn how to love and accept yourself for who you are, join me on Episode 993!

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