How do we forgive the unforgivable? How do we move past unimaginable trauma? How do we heal after being hurt over and again?
In his book Night, Elie Wiesel wrote: “Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere.” And psychotherapist Viktor Frankl wrote: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Wiesel and Frankl were both Holocaust survivors who made it their mission to bring peace and healing to the world. They both went through extreme suffering — suffering that you and I can hardly imagine.
Suffering is something that affects all of us in different ways. Maybe you’ve lost someone dear to your heart to cancer. Or perhaps you’ve gone through extreme adversity, possibly even trauma, addiction, or an abusive relationship. Whatever your story is, suffering is probably a part of it.
When we go through suffering, we are faced with a choice. Do we let that experience harden us? Do we live in the past? Or do we use it to grow and better ourselves?
“I don’t have time to hate, because if I would hate, I would still be a hostage or a prisoner of the past.” – Dr. Edith Eger
My guest today is committed to bringing peace to the world, and she has used her story of suffering to impact people’s lives for the better. Edith Eger was 16 years old when her family was uprooted from their home in Hungary and sent to the Auschwitz concentration camp. There, Edie lost her parents and almost her life, but as she says today, she never lost hope, even in her darkest moments.
Who Is Dr. Edith Eger?
In 1944, Edith Eger was just a teenager when she experienced one of the worst evils the human race has ever known. As a Jew living in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe, she and her family were sent to Auschwitz, the heinous death camp. Her parents were sent to the gas chambers, but Edie’s bravery kept her sister and her alive. Toward the end of the war, Edie and other prisoners were moved to Austria.
On May 4, 1945, a young American soldier noticed her hand moving slightly among a number of dead bodies. He quickly summoned medical help and brought her back from the brink of death.
After the war, Edie moved to Czechoslovakia where she met the man she would marry. In 1949 they moved to the United States. In 1969 she received her degree in Psychology from the University of Texas, El Paso. She then pursued her doctoral internship at the William Beaumont Army Medical Center at Fort Bliss, Texas.
Today, Dr. Edie is a prolific author and a member of several professional associations. She has a clinical practice in La Jolla, California, and she holds a faculty appointment at the University of California, San Diego. She has appeared on numerous television programs, including CNN and the Oprah Winfrey Show, and she was the primary subject of a holocaust documentary that appeared on Dutch National Television. Dr. Edie is frequently invited to speaking engagements throughout the United States and abroad.
Now 92-years-old, Dr. Edie is a respected clinical psychologist in San Diego, and the author of the books, The Choice and now The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life. Her latest work weaves profound clinical and philosophical insights with gripping stories of survival and healing.
There are not very many Holocaust survivors remaining, and while this conversation was incredibly difficult at times, it is so incredibly powerful. Dr. Edie is a true inspiration, and we could all use her advice on coming to terms with trauma, freeing your mind from the shackles of your past, and choosing to live a loving, positive life.
The Difference Between a Victim and a Survivor
Dr. Edie doesn’t call herself a victim. She calls herself a survivor, and the difference between the two is huge. When you’re a victim, you’re still under the control of your oppressor. Even if that person or event has moved on, you haven’t — you’re still stuck in the past. On the other hand, survivors acknowledge their past trauma and let those experiences transform them for the better. Dr. Edie is a survivor, and not only that, but she views all that pain as a gift.
“[When] anything stressful comes to [you], you have two automatic responses. You either fight or flee, but none of those [worked] in Auschwitz. I call Auschwitz a classroom, and [in it] I discovered my inner resources. … I was able to … [look] at the guards … [as if[ they were brainwashed. … Plato [tells] you that the power of suggestion means that you think of a lie —it has to be a big one — and then you repeat it until [you] believe it. And I think this is very important for people to question authority and not just to fight or flee, but learn how to flow in a situation and discover their inner resources. That is the gift to turn hatred into pity. … [It was how I looked] at the guards and [knew] that I could actually pray for them.” – Dr. Edith Eger
I thought this was so powerful. In Auschwitz, if you fought back, you would be immediately killed. If you tried to flee, you’d also be killed. Those two options weren’t possible, and so Dr. Edie began to train her mind — the one thing that no one could take away.
“My mom told me in the car … she had me, and she said, ‘We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know what’s waiting for us. Just remember: No one can take away from you what you put in your own mind.’ And that’s exactly what happened. Everything was taken away from me, [but] I still had my mind and my sister.” – Dr. Edith Eger
The things Dr. Edie experienced during the Holocaust are beyond a scope that you and I could possibly fathom. Every day in Auschwitz, she would work on her mindset, and tell herself, “If I survive today, I’ll be liberated tomorrow.” That phrase kept her going each day until finally, she was liberated when she was 17 years old.
