Relationships are the foundation of human society, but many of us struggle to maintain healthy relationships. If that’s something that bothers you and makes you lose your sleep, then you are not alone, and the majority of the world is with you on this. The fear of being alone gets to the best of us because we value relationships and find them integral to our happiness and success
There’s another side to this: There are those, too, who have given up on relationships because of unpleasant experiences and pain. But isn’t that what life is all about? Our past experiences don’t determine our future entirely; we do. What matters is how we learn from those experiences and continue to grow and transform and make ourselves stronger, smarter, and more resilient.
Gabor Mate said, “The attempt to escape from pain creates more pain.” To add to this further, I would quote David Richo, who said, “Our wounds are often the openings into the best and the most beautiful part of us.” So how can we do this whole relationship thing? How can we not only find the right partner but also maintain a healthy, long-lasting, and immersive relationship? How can we move out of our pain and give a fresh start to ourselves?
I have a feeling that your questions are going to be answered in this episode — I mean, who would be better than a world-renowned licensed marriage therapist to lead this conversation? Today, our guest is Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh, a reputable psychologist who has been studying human behavior and relationships for decades. His observation and knowledge of the topic might help you in many ways.
But before we begin, I just wanted to squeeze in a short note. If you watch the podcast, you might notice a communication breakdown at the beginning of the conversation between Dr. Siri and me. I acknowledge that there was a misunderstanding on our part where we booked two guests simultaneously, a situation that has never happened before on The School of Greatness. Dr. Siri had to wait a few hours in our building before we were able to interview him. As we began our conversation, he started sharing his feelings about the situation that happened, and you will see how we navigate through the uncomfortable discussion that unfolded.
But moving on from the unfortunate start, I am excited for you all to be learning from the brilliant Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh. You will find the conversation useful in learning about finding a healthy relationship and enriching your existing relationships. Before that happens, let’s get to know more about Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh.
Who Is Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh?
Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh is a licensed marriage family therapist (LMFT) who holds a BA in psychology, an MA in clinical psychology, and a Ph.D. in depth psychology. The title of his dissertation was The Phenomenal Study of African-American Men Raised without their Biological Fathers.
Dr. Siri was also featured in Viceland network production’s, The Therapist, where he sat down with musicians like Katy Perry, Waka Flocka, and many more from the world of rap, rock, pop, dancehall, and EDM. The purpose was to unfold what lies underneath these celebrities’ public personas.
His latest book — The Pocket Guru — was recently awarded the 2020 Walden Award for excellence in mind/body connection and healing. For anyone interested in some guidance and mantras for spiritual awakening and emotional wisdom, then this book is for you. Some of Dr. Siri’s articles that presented a holistic perspective on well-being have appeared in Whole Life Times, Alternatives, and Awareness magazines.
Dr. Siri has also worked for various social services agencies as a supervisor, facilitator, therapist, MAT (Multi-Disciplinary Assessment Team) assessor, and clinical director. Through these endeavors, he has often worked with substance abuse individuals, people with HIV/AIDS, gang members, distressed couples, children at risk, people with incurable diseases, as well as perpetrators/victims of domestic violence.
Dr. Siri’s knowledge and decades of experience are highly inspirational for me. We can all use his guidance to understand relationships and learn how to deal with pain, feelings, and forgiveness. Let’s find out more about relationships and effective communication from this phenomenal man.
Most Relationships Fail, but Why?
Dr. Siri has done a lot of incredible work with couples, specifically married couples. So to reward my curiosity, I asked him the biggest reason why relationships fail. I have always wondered whether there is a common underlying problem that plagues all relationships.
“[There are two different principles in relationships] — masculine and feminine principles. … I have come to understand that the female principle must be most operative in a relationship because the feminine principle … is about sensitivity, nurturing, and emotional balance. … The masculine principle is [about] independence and stability. … [If one person in a relationship] is just harboring the masculine principle and the other one is harboring just the female principle, then that will end in a divorce.” – Dr.
Siri Sat Nam Singh
Dr. Siri acknowledges the importance of each individual to identify with both the masculine and feminine principles in a relationship. By nature, you may be inclined to focus more on masculine energy over feminine energy or vice versa. Still, it becomes essential for you to be able to tap into the emotional range of the other.
“This assumption is actually correct — … if your masculine energy is high and you are unable to sense the feminine energy inside you, then you can’t understand the feminine energy that is outside. … Both the genders must embody both these energies.” – Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh
One of the best ways to better understand your partner and to have a thriving relationship is through therapy. Contrary to the popular opinion that therapy should be sought when things are already bad, I want to encourage you to try utilizing therapy from the start of your relationship. Why wait for it to fail when you can strengthen the roots right from the start?
