Overcome Your Ego with Ryan Holiday

So I’m listening to EGO as an internal obstacle.

Other people want you to be successful; economic factors depend on people being successful.

* We’re better than we are. [if we start thinking we’re not very powerful/good in the first place].

Definitely the “I’ll never come back”/I’ll never be good enough”.

Being incredibly talented and not being out of your own way.

Working so hard on some problem … Kobe Bryant drives teammates away. [there’s a retiring guy called Duncan who is a great contrast – he brings people together and the fans together].

“Compromising the most essential parts of yourself” – “how very dare you” – feel like you’re being attacked when your ego protects/insulates you. Cyril Connolly – I was wondering where he came here – overproduction of cells – too much of it is what creates it. You have to know you put in the work. Ego -> past confidence. Things you shouldn’t be confident in – I don’t need them Screw them Everyone else is wrong. [And Connolly had many friends]. “It’s horrible You cannot do this”. Assistant said: Do not announce it. They didn’t buy it. We’re so good… Read more »

When I was 19-21 [says Ryan] … you really didn’t know anything about anything.

[If my 19-20-21 year old self could trust more – that was a big weakness].

“It’s more complicated than I thought – they have multiple sides”.

When I was young I thought black and white was a construct or a trick of the light.

And surrounding yourself with people who don’t know anything and don’t know it.

Working for Tucker Max [this is important]: He made a smart-arse comment about a throw-away thing. [There were hundreds of smart-arse comments about thousands of throw-away things. How many of these are remembered and learned from?] TM tore our podcaster a new one in front of the others. A classic “attack feeling” – TM should not have done that. It was bad leadership. Why did you need to be involved? [think about being fungible/replaceable – Ego hates that]. Just wanted people to acknowledge you existed. We get into purpose and passion here – important people don’t give you a second… Read more »

Cultivating people who tell you the truth – especially when you’re successful. Don’t punish people for telling the truth. Find people who are super-motivated. A kamikazi mission. “You know what my life is like – inflating numbers of what I’ve done – look I paid to meet that person”. “You’re not coming off well” – shooting the messenger? Checking in all the time. People realise it’s not in their interests to tell you the truth. “It’s weird – if everyone else is lying”. Being the person who tells the uncomfortable truth gives you a position of power. Not about making… Read more »

Why passion is dangerous [from the Stoics]. Passion is about EXTREME EMOTION. Purpose – trying to write for a reason. Passion can be blinding. Everyone would do what they love. Being good at it and making smart decisions. How do you find a purpose? “as part of your life” – it SOUNDS really smart. Then what – nobody asks. Defining your goals – the life you’re trying to build – a real model for what you’re doing. Getting distracted by the things you like – pick one to get really good at it. It means something + you know what… Read more »

The world is different to Lewis and Ryan.

“baseballer” and “Olympic skiier”.

The world is indifferent to our personal goals and to the human race.

We are a very small piece of the cosmos.

The internal obstacles: addiction; self-worth; other people – we add to that.

An extraordinarily difficult thing even harder.

We never know.

Just listened to it in podcast and made me realized so many things about my life! Thanks for bringing him, Lewis!

What challenge would Ryan solve? Walking that canyon or being in the wilderness – exploring the present moment. Amazing/worthless – nature is good for purpose, as is asking questions. Going back in your head to get out of your head. Pausing for a second – reacting emotionally all the time “We must act and live small”. Small steps every day! Paul Grant – ‘the way to change the world is to change some tiny thing’. Larry Page quote – ‘is what you’re working on going to change the world?’ Thesis: a research project. YouTube as a dating site. Gmail: an… Read more »

Best example of someone who doesn’t have an ego / is flexible/ self – aware? Ryan’s favourite story is George M and the martial. The famous account of his wife – he had no ego. He had ego liked everyone – he believed in what he was doing. The D-day invasion. This is an opportunity of a life time. He wanted it more than anything in the world. You decide. Eisenhower did an amazing job. This is Marshall of the Marshall Plan which got Europe back together? [it’s stronger than Brexit and pettiness]. My favourite person who doesn’t have an… Read more »

The work is the reason people are remembered.

The ego gets bored – “stay at it”.

A personal question: where does Lewis’s ego get in the way?

Brazillian ju-jitsu he didn’t want to act as a master. What happens to big guys they don’t get good at the fundamentals because they can use weight.

He’s handsome – tall – charismatic.

Strengths compensate for weaknesses – not a problem. It could be – skating by.

The substance can suffer.
goodoriginalrealvulnerablehonestSay what you’re afraid to say – only you know what you’re afraid of!
Ryan doesn’t have what Lewis has.

Ryan’s biggest fear: as a human being. His wife is expecting – his work is very important and his identity is tied up. Make a lot of decisions which seem important – in retrospect they don’t matter. Some random person e-mails Ryan. He stole that from someone – his kid. [Hope the kid exists!] Stealing from someone’s potential and momentum. Choose to live with whatever fears you want – the kid didn’t sign up for fear. He really loves writing and he is lucky enough to write things other people want to read. Age of something … resentful of popularity.… Read more »

If Ryan could achieve anything: 19-20 years old he really wanted to be a writer and write books. He loved books. His parents didn’t give him good books. He wrote adventure novels – the joy of reading not the right direction. Mentors gave him the right direction. Research – talk – teach people. Thousands of years – a lot of meaning. One of the hard things – “so what’s next”… The pressure is now “I’m going to become a billionaire”. A path which makes unhappy. “Just because I got to do it earlier than I expected” things that come up… Read more »

Lewis waited four years for the book.

Discipline helped him – rewrote this draft about business lifestyle.

“We just spent TWO YEARS on this”…

The agent had a real interest – actually this isn’t right.

10% more money but they don’t believe. Are you going to jeopardise?

Not to swing at that pitch.

Four years is a long time.

If you don’t have confidence and a belief – “Fine I’ll just copy that”.

Dad was more influential to Ryan. Dad was a police officer – who became very financially successful from investing in real estate and inventing an explosive device picker-upper arm. You could understand other things. What are you most grateful for? They live on a farm with donkeys. He lives in a dream house and has a dream life and killed a real rattlesnake. “This is everything I want” – very freeing. “I don’t like these floors” – being grateful for what you have… Gratitude is what you owe other people and what you have. Final questions: “you ask me very… Read more »

When rules are crooked and broken.

Make something that transcends that system.

John Boyd – to do or to be?

Acknowledge for brilliance and creativity and ability to take major risks in your life. They stay in the same game to be more recognised.

Ryan continued to follow his purpose.

Always someone you could lean on.

“What’s your definition of greatness”?

Filling what potential you have and then some.

Erika Vizcarra kind of relates to what we were talking about…

Just focus on DOING and for the right reasons and things will fall into place. U0001f618

One of the best interview. Quite often, we don’t thing about our ego and how it’s destroying us. Great job guys!

Deborah Lee Smith might want to listen to this podcast

Next book I’m going to read

Great interview Lewis Howes

Thanks for the reminder!

Perhaps that not a bad thing.

Sorry but no. Too slippery to get into beating self up for not achieving more or getting stuck in glory days. Comparing is judging. What would be the point?

He had so many great quotes on the episode.

My favorite author hands down right now.

Lewis..excellent work ! Have read both of RH’s (“Obstacle”+”Ego”)..plus several RR podcast interviews. You draw him out really well..clear..usable ++ great flow & non bs connect. Thanks ! Self-candor..by both of you..refreshing. “Through knowest the man , thou knowest not his wrestling.”

when you give it all you got and compare yourself to your progess it should motive you to keep pushing

Bought this already! Can’t wait to read it U0001f62c

Do you have a favourite or one you particularly remember that is going to drive you forward in your purpose, Marco?